To think they can't have it ALL together??

[mermaidparadise]

Just in general I have a few friends who come across as having it ALL together
House- nicely decorated and tidy/organised
Children- good tempered and cooperative
Money wise- stable with savings
Laundry- always on top of it!
Garden- always neat and tidy
Hair,nails and teeth etc- perfect!
And they are always so full of energy and getting things done!

Meanwhile, my laundry is done but my dc are running wild...
The garden is a mess from all the kids playing out etc
My hair is a mess as it needs a cut, we are decorating so the house is a WARZONE!!

Are three just lucky or do much better at adulting than I am?? I feel so tired by the DC's bedtime... but can't think of what I accomplished most days 😫

[BankofNook]

Everyone has their own standards and their own red lines.

I have everything on the OPs list except hair and nails because my hairdresser is closed and our savings are a little depleted right now because we've recently refurnished the living room and our bedroom.

I pay a gardener to cut the grass and do weeding/planting as needed. I have a window cleaner. I do the rest of the cleaning, laundry, and cooking myself although we do order in once a week and I do all of my food shopping online.

I have four DC which includes one still under school age, two have SN, and a DH who works FT while I'm a SAHM/carer.

A lot of it is down to good habits and routine. For example, while the bath is running for the DC I will wipe over the sink and toilet then after their bath it's just a case of wiping the floor (any water they've splashed about comes in handy here!) and rinsing out the tub - bathroom clean with no particular effort. When I dish out dinner I fill the sink with hot soapy water so that it's ready for the plates to go straight into it when we're done. DC have storage boxes for their toys and they can get out as much stuff as they like but it all has to go back into the boxes before bedtime. There is a coat rack and a shoe cupboard in the hall, when they come home they hang up coats/bags and put their shoes in the cupboard - often the shoes are flung in higgledy-piggledy but that's still put away.

My DC aren't afraid to make a mess or get dirty and there are plenty of times my house looks like a bomb has gone off but it's easy enough to reset back to a tidy state. Just yesterday my DC were caked in mud to the knees from playing with the hosepipe in the garden and making a "muddy jump spot" in the end of one of the flower beds.

Personal preference comes into it too. I don't like sitting down during the day and like to be up and doing things, especially in lockdown, so I potter on to keep myself busy. I don't like wearing pyjamas during the day, I like to get dressed. Some days "getting dressed" may just mean leggings and tshirt (PJs by another name!) but its dressed. I don't wear full make up every day at the moment but I do moisture as part of getting washed and brushing my teeth and then put on a little tinted moisturiser. When the hairdressers are open I get my hair cut and coloured once a month, I get my nails shaped and polished once a fortnight (short and tidy rather than long and glitzy). I go to the day spa every 3-4 months and I go out with my friends once a week even if it's just round to their house for a bottle of wine. I need that time for myself.

It's not a competition and I certainly wouldn't judge anyone who does things differently to me.

[Raella50]

Well I’m probably one of those people to my friends because I do have all of those things on the list and I’m quite a calm but motivated type of personality. However, there are lots of ways I’m very imperfect and absolutely everyone is. For example, my brain works at one hundred miles an hour and I always have too many tabs open! I’m a chronic planner and always know what we’ll be doing for months in advance. I’m always prepping ahead, don’t really know how to relax and am very goal oriented. I have to work hard at some things that I wish I was better at, such as tolerating people I find annoying! I can be highly strung at times too. It’s just a different personality type that’s all, everyone is different and these people are not better or worse than anyone. Don’t sweat it and just do you!