My son is in his mid-20's and is a lovely lad, though has suffered from depression and addiction and found it difficult to settle down in life.
His dad left when he was 3 which caused a lot of my son's difficulties, as although he saw his dad he used to let him down endlessly and ended up offering him drugs when he was 15 (I know!).
My son went into rehab and has needed a lot of support over the last few years both emotionally & financially, which has come from me, my DP and my father, who is reasonably wealthy. My DP and I have been severely impacted financially through helping my son.
My son's dad has always been reluctant to pay maintenance and his paternal grandparents have rarely contributed, meaning the costs involved were heavily borne by us.
When I was short of money during the children's upbringing (daughter by same dad two years younger than son) their dad used to say "ask yer Dad" (sic). Of course I didn't but simply took on more work to cover the shortfall, however my dad was always generous and looked to buy winter coats, shoes, trips and holidays for the kids.
Finally however after paying out a considerable amount for rehab and my son's debts along with my DP and I, my father has said he is sick of being seen as the 'golden goose' and thinks the other side of the family need to contribute. He's actually really angry with they way they have shirked their responsibilities. I don't blame him and feel angry too.
We will probably get nothing but I want to prick their conscience/put it in black and white just how strongly we feel and how they have continually shirked their responsibilities (yet enjoyed the company of their grandchildren as I've always maintained contact). My dilemma is how to word this appropriately without demanding or sounding petulant, and laying out the facts. I need the expert MN'ers with their wisdom and impartiality!
So I guess my question is AIBU to expect a contribution from them?