To ask your thoughts/experiences with borderline personality disorder?

[username108]

I've just been diagnosed with this, and it makes a lot of sense. Although I don't fit the textbook/stereotype of most of the symptoms. I'm worried that it will change how health professionals view/treat me as this condition seems to have such a stigma.

I'm curious as to peoples experiences with this personality disorder. Is it really a life sentence that is incurable? All I have read online is about family/friends/ex's bitching about how awful and manupliative people with bpd are.

My husband has BPD. I’m sorry you’ve read only horrible things about people with the condition, it’s a very unfair characterisation and different people express their conditions differently.

The first thing I would say is, if you want to go down that route, my husband has been well stabilised with the correct medication. He has a full-time demanding career and you wouldn’t ‘know’ he has a PD to look at him - he’s very popular and funny, although he finds socialising exhausting.

I’ll be honest with you - yes, it is difficult sometimes - but I know it’s difficult for him too. If you can find a way to communicate with those closed to you, I think that is the most important thing.

On the point of stigma - I can’t say he has experienced this. Most people have no idea what BPD is, including some health professionals unfortunately. But we have fantastic GPs who have been excellent. The therapy suggested for BPD is DBT which is not available on the NHS unfortunately.

I don’t think anything ‘cures’ BPD, but symptoms can be managed - my husband has a fairly ordinary life and is stable most of the time. His diagnosis was a blessing as it makes it easier for me to understand him. I have a diagnosed mental illness myself so know it’s tough. It doesn’t define you

I have known a few people with BPD and although some of them were once friends, I ultimately couldn't maintain those friendships because of the severity of their symptoms. I would now be very wary of anyone I met that I knew or suspected had BPD. So yes there is a stigma, but a justified one in my experience. Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear.

I have BPD and so far haven’t experienced any stigma from it. I’m stable on medication and on the waitlist for group DBT in my area (about a years wait).

With medication and therapy I became a different person . I work full time as a teacher and bring up my two kids . No one would ever guess . PM me if you need to .

You are sadly correct about the whole stigma thing, but there are health professionals out there fighting for change. In my experience it is something some people do struggle with their whole lives. I have also seen some people who manage really well and lead happy lives.

The nature of the condition makes it difficult at times for those diagnosed to engage in therapies etc. It is understandable that people who don't know much about/understand the condition use words such as 'manipulative' etc. Which must be very hurtful for the person with the diagnosis as that is not their intention. My advice would be to be open and honest with your nearest and dearest, encourage them to educate themselves. Engage with health care professionals if needed.

Good luck.

I used to think the stigma was exaggerated. That all changed last year and formal complaints are still being investigated about certain nhs individuals.

Mh has a bad rep as we mainly focus on the negatives. Of course these are the things that impact everyone.

I was diagnosed about 4 years ago with borderline and some other stuff. I’m not text book and it’s never felt right. I don’t meet the usual childhood criteria, instead I was doing the same stuff as I do now.

Over the past 4 years I’ve had meds and therapy. Meds haven’t stopped and therapy had to start again a few weeks ago.

Maintaining relationships/friendships is hard. As pp said and rightly so, we can become too much to handle. Or they do something to annoy me and it’s bye bye.

Conventional relationships and me done mix. It’s been tried and tested to the point of I’m adviced against them because of me.

One of the things I learned a lot from was STEPPS. It gave me a few more coping strategies to deal with life. It wasn’t for me however as it highlighted that wasn’t me, and plus I don’t play nice in groups. And although I wouldn’t always say anything I have a bad poker face.

Thank you all. I'm on the waiting list for ERPT but i may try DBT as well

@usernane108 just wanted to say respect with your condition - and sorry if you get the "I couldn't live with someone who had that" comments. These are the same people who live with folk who are controlling, belittling etc...

At the end of the day it's a misunderstood condition which needs further research, support and help OP.

It's not a life sentence as such if you can find the right combination of therapies, medication and support. With that firmly in mind I wish you all the luck.