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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being unfair?

28 replies

BigDays · 31/05/2020 11:04

DH is a workaholic, owns his own business. He works 6 days a week and does long days. He works really hard and I am proud of him.

But recently I'm getting sick of him never making any time for the rest of us. The only day we really have him here is a Sunday and he spends it in bed until midday, then never wants to do anything, just sit at chill out.

I understand that he's tired. But I'm started to get really fed up with it. The kids want to go out with him, I want to spend some actual quality time with him.

If we suggest going on a walk he'll complain 5 minutes in that he's too tired, wants to go back and watch TV.

AIBU to say he needs to start making more effort on his day off to do things with us? He often complains that it's his only day off but I'm getting to the point where I just think well who's fault is that? I want to say if he's too tired to make any sort of effort to get up and out with his family on his day off then he'll need to start taking the Saturday too.

Frankly I'm fucking bored of never doing anything together. He says we'll do things like go on a bike ride with the kids or a walk on a Sunday and then it never happens because he's too tired.

I'm sympathetic to an extent but he is definitely addicted to work and chooses to work so much rather than it being a necessity I believe.

OP posts:
cptartapp · 31/05/2020 20:28

Doesn't sound like he can be bothered to be a parent or with family time tbh. He'd rather be at work. Tiredness is an excuse and probably exaggerated. He could work less and see his family more. He chooses not to and to let you and his DC down. I wouldn't be proud of him.

mamansnet · 31/05/2020 20:32

Nobody ever regretted working less on their deathbed. They did, however, regret seeing their kids grow up.

It great that he loves work but he needs to demonstrate that he loves his family more.

I understand it's difficult to run your own business but maybe it's time he took on some help to free up his weekends a bit more.

thewreckofthehesperus · 31/05/2020 20:32

Counselling letting him know how unhappy you are. Let him know he needs to implement change or theres a very real possibility of losing his family.

If you're not living hand to mouth then he needs to go five days a week. One to rest and one for family.

Spell it out it for him, let him know you're reaching the point of no return so he needs to pull his socks up.

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