To lock my kids bedrooms when relatives decend

[partypoop]

I just cant be dealing with the mess and maybe damage that will be created. How many kids do you allow to go into your kids rooms? I will feel really bad in front of the parents when I have to say an explanation to the questioning children but what do you do?

Sounds reasonable to me. DD and DS have four manic cousins and I'm grateful they hardly ever descend on us. If they did I'd probably invest in locks for the bedrooms too. Decant them all outside!

How old are the children and could you ask the parents to be sure their kids have tidied up the mess.

Your house,doi waht you like.
I have a srairgate that will remain in situ until youngest is 18 for precisely this purpose....

actually , i thikn it is unreasonable

it is a family home, no?

the worst that can happen is a big , big mess

move and hide anything breakable or precious and let the kids run around

have had 14 children in DSs room when he had a party once...

they are children and you don;t live in a museum!

When my children's friends ask to go upstairs I say they can but not to go in my room or the bathroom.

Bring stuff downstairs for them to play with, lock doors.
Just say rooms a mess and out of bounds.
Not worth the hours of sorting out later.

Not unreasonable at all. However, when other children descend on me I actively encourage them to go in my DSs room but I close all other doors to try and confine the mess and (in theory) stop them trashing the living room.

how old are your kids? I have a stairgate which is well and truly locked if kids come over, because I don't want them upstairs full stop.
But that's mainly because they're usually under 4 and a bit unreliable iyswim lol

Tbh If I was worried i'd remove any breakables from the rooms before they came. I wouldn't stop them going into the rooms with your children and would shout upstairs before they leave to remind everyone to tidy the rooms. Children's rooms are their own space and if they want guests they should be allowed as long as they realise they are responsible for clearing up any mess.

How much mess will they make? Weigh up whether the hassle of clearing it up is worth the hassle of saying No.
Some of my kids mates get under the blody beds pulling EVERYTHING out. And my kids are too meek to say no.
So no I say no. stay down here.

No I don't think you are being unreasonable. Ds's cousins always ask if they can play upstairs and I always so no. All Ds's toys are downstairs though so I don't see any need for it. (plus i'm an untidy cow anyway so upstairs is a no go for anyone!)

Thanks, some mixed views. Just not sure what to do yet. I have allowed it before and its difficult. Its just our kids respect their stuff but others dont if you know what I mean. I usually allow their odd friends in their rooms but this is somewhat different!

i'm not keen on them playing upstairs if there is more than two

a) like to see what they are doing

b) like to see how much mess they are making

c) pluc they could be going into your room too, had a mate who let kids ply upstairs when she went up to check on them they were goign through her drawers!!

i think it depends on what kind of a person you are. I personally am quite slutty in the tidyness department, so I often don't notice that much more mess after all the cousins (8 in total) have been together. But I did draw the line when my 9 year old nephews took the beautifully White Company duvet and pillow off my daughters bed and take it into the garden for a fight. Now that made me shout! Otherwise, I am usually just glad they are out of sight, and my own kids are having a brilliant time making dens and getting all the stuff out of the toybox. I often see it as an opportunity to chuck some stuff out.

I tell my children that they are allowed to hide anything they don't want anyone else to play with - they can put stuff in our bedroom, which is out of bounds. Apart from that they are allowed to have whoever they like in thie bedrooms - they live here too!

totally agree, why should they trash whole house? yes it is a home but there should be limits. i get really stressed when everyone descends as the mess is horrific, plus the entertaining. stick to one room.

why are you assuming that they will trash the house? Am I being naive? yes there is major untidiness - if you consider toys being played with untidiness. Come to think of it, maybe I'm not being naive - maybe I'm just a slut!

I think you are being unreasonable. When my children were younger( but old enough to play unsupervised) they loved taking their cousins and friends to their room. They are now teenagers and still like taking friends up to their room.

YABU and rather too uptight

I don't allow any kids other than my own upstairs but then we're lucky and have a downstairs playroom and a second loo so there is no need for it. occasionally dd will ask to take someone upstairs and I reluctantly agree (dependant on the child) but she rarely asks cos she has somuch downstairs anyway

I am surprised. Have not yet come across children not allowd upstairs with pals

YABU there kids they come round to play, let them!

*they're kids

I locked DS's room when we had 140 people the other week for a BBQ.

Used to let it get trashed, but now he has Laptops, RC cars, guitars etc etc, and a neighbors kid went in the other day and put a DART into DS's wall, miles from the Dartboard!