I am feeling bad for spoiling DH's birthday yesterday by being a tad grumpy but can I tell you why and then you tell WIBU?

[MegaLegs]

Three birthdays in a row this week, my dad, DS1 and DH's, have therefore rushed about getting cards, pressies and cakes. Lots of visiters, lots of cups of tea, washing up not to mention late nights so ratty children to contend with. I have a streaming cold which I am covering up with Beechams and telling everyone it's hayfever. Plus all the usual busy stuff we do anyway.

Soooo, last night last of the well wishers leave and kids in bed for 8.30. Light fire, open wine sit, steaks on the fire to cook, all lovely, no telly, a good conversation which rarely happens between us these days. Phone rings, I answer, friend of DH's who he sees or speaks to atleast once a week, polite chat tell him I'll get the birthday boy, friend doesn't even realise it is DH's birthday, right I'll get to the point. DH proceeds to chat to this friend for just under half an hour, about nothing imparticular, despite me waving tongs at him and pointing at steaks and making I am starving gestures.

I was miffed, planned cosy evening spoilt, he thought I was cross about the steak being overcooked not the fact that he didn't tell his friend we were 'busy 'and he'd call him another time, but he couldn't see that.

Tried to be jovial but blimey is it just me or was that thoughtless.

His birthday. Men don't really care about birthdays the way (some) women do though.

i think as its his birthday if it was only half an hour of chat it should be forgiven if your friend phoned on your birthday would you not talk to her?

maybe its because your not feeling well but i'm sure whole evening weren't ruined because of one hone call its his birthday

I think at this point I should point out tha the phone is in the study and I was at the other end of the house in the sitting room.

giraffeski - LOL I took the steaks off the fire and let them 'rest' at the side so they weren't too bad.

Am more amazed at men having a 1/2 hour conversation with each other tbh

phone

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take the phone off the hook next year before you start!!!!

Your a woman, you should understand that anything you can say in under an hour on the phone is not worth saying

Yes.

yanbu

Well I told my dh off for this. He was the one cooking the steaks, nothing romantic or anything, no wine involved. The phone goes just as the steaks are cooking, it's my sister. I chat a bit and then he comes in, hovering behind me, making hungry gestures and telling me to end the conversation. I thought that was very rude of him and I said so.

I knew I had to end the conversation but it's impolite, so I think, to just say "sorry I can't talk as I've a steak on". I did cut it short, but I also had a go at him for hassling me.

If you are on the phone, you should not be interrupted. The steak would have kept. He felt put under pressure by you to end the phone call, but also bound by politeness to his friend who was no doubt apologising for forgetting your dh's birthday. Poor man couldn't win could he?

I can see it from his side - he was not being unreasonable. And I can see it from your side, mega - you were not really being unreasonable either.

I'd forget it as soon as poss and enjoy tomorrow.

But that's the difference Rhubarb. He was cooking them (he enjoys it and wanted to), the evening was special and we had both just been commenting on how nice it was to be just us after a load of visiters. It's really rare that we get chance to sit down together, with wine, peace and quiet, no telly etc...

The bloke that called is deffo not the type who would give a shit that he'd forgotten DH's birthday but the type that likes to call and tell us every detail of his week without much interest in ours, DH should have told him he'd call him back, I know I would have done.

But your dh probably felt too polite to end the conversation. It can be very hard to find that gap in the convo with which to jump in and say goodbye. It can seem awfully impolite if done incorrectly. Us women are good at doing it, we've had practice, but men are shit at it. I'm sure he would have rather spent that time eating the steaks and drinking wine with you, so why make him feel really bad for failing at something? You could have helped out by knocking at the door, or made up an emergency.

I think you should both hug and get over it.

slap another couple of raw steaks on the fire, drink a flagon of red wine

We did and we are.

I think the real problem is that this friend is quite intrusive, he has had problems in the past and we helped him out big time. He has met someone new and his life is good again but I think I resent him a bit.

We did kiss and we are over it I mean, not the steak and wine thing ( well aprt from the wine but it's just me tonight)

Let... the... friend... gooooooooo

a poultice for thy fevered brow?

Yes please, and a hot toddy, although I am actually feeling alot better.

I am off to watch Harry Potter Goblet of Fire now. DS1's Godfather sent it for his birthday but I need to check it's scariness before he watches tomorrow.

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