What silly notions do you harbour about what is most attractive to a burglar in your house?!

[milksoffagain]

I know they would head straight for my 30 year old sewing machine. (Or would they...?) Old, clunky, and very very heavy, what's not to love?

What do you value that has never before struck you as realistically highly unlikely to actually feature in a burglar's top 10? I'm interested in hearing about the sort of things that would make all the other burglars snort in derision when the night's pickings were laid out at Burglar HQ in the morning...

Yes, it"s lighthearted, so no boring 'valuables' like phones/laptops etc that are actually worth a lot of money please. Sympathies to anyone who has actually had anything stolen in this way.

(Burglars welcome to join in of course - if any of the sort you find in children's-books are actually reading this thread.)

Didn't mean to enable voting

The rabbit and my books! There isn't anything of any real value. They'd be v disappointed with my slower-than-xmas laptop, my antique mobile and they can have the telly. I do like my radio though and that was quite expensive, but I doubt they'd go for that.

I am certain they'd make off with my 16 year old cat. And she is so soppy and such an attention seeker she wouldn't even try to stop them. They would realise their error once she had peed in their van though! 😹

I think if I was a burglar I'd head straight for a rabbit a cat and books too! Not silly enough !!!!

My daughters comfort blanket, she's had it since she was a new born and carries it EVERYWHERE. I can just see a burgler seeing how attached she is and thinking it must be valuable 🙈

Nothing.
I have kids, everything is damaged, cracked, broken, bits missing, cheap crap because there is just no point in having anything nice or valuable.

My once beautiful house is a shadow of its former self since they came along.

Slightly unrelated but this most reminded me of the story. Years ago my grandparents house was burgled. They were preparing for an antique fair, and all the surfaces in the house were covered in rare and valuable items, with price labels. The burglar took their broken tv only.

I'm always afraid someone will take my dog. But then I think they'd last maybe 10 minutes with her licking and lack of respect for personal space and bring her back.

I think the burglar would think the place had already been burgled and try next door !

My two dogs. Retired racing greyhounds, one with a broken toe and the other apparently never made the grade so wasn't actually on the track.

They look like they'd go like shit off a shovel, though, so I think a burglar would nick them ( for a few minutes, then bring them back when they realised they had gained two dogs but lost the right to sit on their own couches, as two boney hounds were roaching on them )

I was burgled once when at Uni, we were all away on Easter holidays. They were caught as had hit a load of student accommodation.

From my room they took the normal TV etc but they also took half empty bottles of shampoo, a plastic carrier to take it all in and a large Union flag off the wall that I used as cheap decoration.

My paintings! I have inherited a few paintings which are quite valuable and I always imagine a burglar going straight for them even though they are all huge, unwieldy things in heavy wooden frames

The gun.

At the moment I'm fretting about the seedlings. We have been growing veg from seed and the house is full of little tiny baby tomatoes, green beans, salad, broccoli, courgettes etc etc at various stages waiting for the right moment to move to their forever home at our allotment. No doubt a burglar would ignore the expensive computer and swipe the tiny cucumber plants.

Clancey that's just scary.

I was burgled about two years ago, they had good taste as they took my watches, new trainers and a tom ford suit alongside the TV and consoles.

Weirdly they also took my toothpaste and a shelf.

My piano. I have a very old piano that is huge and heavy and very battered looking. But it’s a good make with a beautiful sound. I always assume a burglar would head straight for it.

In reality, to get it in here took a specialist removal company hours, a trolley because of the weight, and we had to take the door frames off. Burglar would need a specialist team and a lot of free time.

My cat. He is an extremely expensive show type Maine Coon. Gorgeous rare colouring and marking, also an absolute prick

They would last an hour tops before they realised their personal space was gone forever and everything they owned would be at risk as anyone who has a Maine Coon knows.. they're not cats, they're dogs who will stay a puppy forever

My Janice Tchalenko peacock pattern jug and bowl.

They're so beautiful, that any burglar would fall instantly in love with them and want them for their own.

We were burgled when I was a child and they took my Barbie beadspread and pillowcase. I was absolutely devestated and we never understood why they took it, it was probably only about a tenner new and selling it second hand would probably only have got them a few quid.

When we were burgled (about 10y ago), we came home to find our piggy bank shook out. It was huge (about the size of a big pug) and shaped like a pig. Joke was on them as it was exclusively filled with 5p peices. Which obviously they left all over the floor.

We had one of those old tellys with the big back on it, which they left, but they did steal the 2nd hand wii which was plugged into it. I reckon it was worth about 15 quid. Oh and they took the laptop which was so old it would turn itself off after 5mins.

@Sunny345H it was probably used to carry the other stolen items out of your house!

When we were burgled they didn't take the Kindles (obviously weren't big readers) or the £300 camera lens, but they did take all of dh's half used bottles of aftershave.

We had some kids come into the house last week and steal my kids 2 scooters from the front hall.
My brothers flat share was robbed on a Monday when he was in college, they took off with the microwave. Inside the microwave was a plated dinner that my mother had cooked at the weekend and given him for his dinner. So they got my mothers food too.

@Emlou07 most people who come to my house are scared of my Maine Coon so I hope burglars might be too

I worry about the dog but again he’s a 7 yr old, neutered little scruff bag so there’s be no value. Other than a bait dog but that doesn’t even bear thinking about; in my head they’d only be taking him to sell for £££ as a companion or as a stud doggie his good looks.

The passports, our marriage certificate and the baby’s birth certificate are all currently on the dining table and I keep thinking I need to hide them upstairs in the office in case we get burgled. Thinking about it though, is identity fraud common on a 10 month old and if so, is this achieved by stealing their passport and birth certificate?

On the flip side my husbands car was broken into a few months ago, window smashed, nothing taken and a load of wires exposed under the steering wheel - so it looked likes they were trying to steal it. We were so annoyed that they didn’t succeed. It’s a shit heap, 150k on the clock, broken fan so it’s hot in summer, cold in winter, takes an age to de-Ice and mists up in 2 seconds flat and the bodywork is shocking. We even left it languishing on the driveway unused for a good month at the start of lockdown, started first time. No one would buy it but as it still works and keeps sailing through its MOT it seems unethical / un- environmentally friendly to scrap it so we are just using it till it dies.... but it just won’t flipping die! If it’d been stolen we could have bought another car with a clear conscience but clearly this one pulled some herbie level shit and refused to start for the naughty robbers.