Worried about my pregnant sister and her family

[Glassishalffull]

Hello friends, I am having sleepless nights worrying about my sister and wanted to ask for your advice. My sister and her husband who live in the US are expecting their second baby in about 5 weeks. They already have a 2 year old boy. My BIL is a paramedic and works closely with patients who could possibly have Covid 19 infections. I am worried as my heavily pregnant sister, her unborn baby and my little nephew are exposed to the virus as my BIL could bring the virus with him to his family home. They are all living under the same roof, they are not taking any social distancing measures, sleep in the same bed, cook together and carry on living as if life is normal and there is no global pandemic! My sister thinks because he is wearing his PPE kit while at work and cleans/washes himself before coming home and disposes of his clothing at work, he will not be bringing the virus home to his family. I disagree and feel they actually need to do more, I feel BIL will need to maintain some form of distance from his family until baby arrives. Am I being unreasonable?
Thank you for reading

In the nicest possible way, this is none of your business.

It's ok for you to worry but they are adults and ok with how they are living.
Just try to be excited about the new baby coming.

I get this pandemic has scared a lot of people, but in the kindest way possible you need to try to calm down, and also realise you cannot be dictating how they live.

He is medically trained, he is aware of the risks, likely way more than you, and he is taking thr appropriate precautions at work.

You need to accept that. That he knows more than you, that this is his own family and that he is taking the precautions necessary to protect him and his family.

The risk and likely hood is that being away from them all will cause more harm in terms of mental health.

Sorry, but I agree with PP. This is not your baby, so not your business. They're both adults and capable of risk assessing their own situation.

YABU and need to MYOB.

I understand why you’re concerned OP, but it’s nothing to do with you - they have to make the decisions that work for their family.

Reassure yourself with the fact that even if they do get it, the virus has not shown to be particularly dangerous to newborns. There have been very few cases, and those who have had it have recovered easily.

I get being worried but there is a line OP and you need to make sure you don’t cross it. Your phrasing comes across as controlling. Their lives, their family.

I assume the family members are all healthy with no underlying medical conditions? Their risk is extremely low. If he’s an EMT then he deals with transporting infectious people all the time. Hepatitis, AIDS, TB, etc. And he is trained how to deal with this and has the necessary equipment to keep him safe. Has he caught something from a patient before?

Everyone needs to manage their own situation, so as others have said, you can be concerned and request if you were to see them certain precautions are taken but they can do what they like when it comes to themselves.
I assume from your post that your sister is happy with the arrangements they have in place and he does not force her to go about this in the way he wants? If so take a step back and let them do them.

It’s been said before but the virus isn’t going away quickly and each person needs to choose the right way for them.

Ah, in a way, it's nice that you're worried for your sister. But sleepless nights? She's an adult and has decided that the risk isn't enough for them to do anything different and you need to respect that.

Gently OP, as I know you are worried, but you need to calm down. I’m currently pregnant and know people who’ve had Covid during pregnancy, it’s not fun at all but they’ve been ok. For all the horrible news about fatalities there are many, many, many more people who, if they do get it, have a nasty illness and then get better. There are plenty of risky things we do as pregnant women - I’ve said this before but me driving to my scans is more likely to put me and baby at risk - but you have to keep living your life to a degree.

Do you suffer with anxiety? Worrying about your sister when she’s pregnant and far away at times like these is normal but your reactions sound a bit more than that.

Sleepless nights?

In our house we are both keyworkers. How would we both distance ourselves from our children? The advice to wear PPE, strip off before you come in, shower etc is the advice we have been given. Your BIL will still have to work after the baby is born, do you want him to not see his newborn too? He will have been told what to do by his work. And as a pp has said he has always been exposed to numerous other infections (without full PPE) and hasn’t bought those home.

Calm down and give them some credit, they're adults and can assess risk and take sensible precautions . Key workers everywhere are going home to their families a lot of whom are in vulnerable groups. You need to support not interfere.

It really isn't your business.

Unless there are major health conditions you haven't mentioned then the risk to your sister and the children is tiny.

I understand that it worries you but you have no say in it. You can't make them do what you think is best.
You have to accept they will make their own choices. Your brother in law being a paramedic surely means he is well used to risk assessing.
You're worried because you care and I'm sure they know that but it isn't within your control.