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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to go to the papers about someone

170 replies

Sadie789 · 30/05/2020 00:11

I wish I could tell the story as it would help greatly but the details would be far too outing, but I’ve found out something about a friend which has made my blood boil and I don’t think they should get away with it.

Normally I wouldn’t be a “snitch” but this person has a high profile position especially at the moment, and has done something pretty heinous not to mention some other unethical things as a result of the heinous thing.

The reason I’m considering the papers is that this person was interviewed just a few weeks ago and painted as a bit of a local hero, which they absolutely are not.

They’re a friend of a friend so some of the details If they got out would lead back to my friend and then to me.

Has anyone ever gone to the paper about something? How did you feel afterwards? Did you get anonymity?

Just do point out this is not a “neighbour went for a 40 mile cycle in lockdown” type story.

OP posts:
bonsaidragon · 30/05/2020 00:34

Who is AS?!

Presumably a well known Scottish male.

user1635482648 · 30/05/2020 00:34

It will harm you more than them.

People get away with crappy things every single day.

Use your anger to power something positive, not for attempts at revenge.

Original poster
Sadie789 · 30/05/2020 00:35

@Mnthrowaway20202 the press can’t report on the details of an upcoming court case.

The things this person has done as a result of the alleged crime are the issue.

They are all things that can be proven happened (for example they flew from X to Y during lockdown) so not gossip. The flying is not the issue btw.

OP posts:
Barryisland · 30/05/2020 00:35

More info needed!

user1635482648 · 30/05/2020 00:35

And posts on here appear in Google searches.

CoachBombay · 30/05/2020 00:36

Oh and OP never trust a journalist who can "guarantee your anonymity" they can't. They say thing alike "no, it will never get out" or "I've done this loads of times, I've always kept it secret"

Yes for now....but once it's out there and 4/5 years down the line people start sniffing again the promise of anonymity has been "forgotten"

Original poster
Sadie789 · 30/05/2020 00:37

@user1635482648 aware of that which is why I’ve given no details.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sadie789 · 30/05/2020 00:38

Well @CoachBombay this is what I was wondering. Because even if they technically promise anonymity, doesn’t mean they won’t tell their colleagues who said what etc.

OP posts:
steff13 · 30/05/2020 00:38

If the police are involved, how has the person gotten away with it?

Original poster
Sadie789 · 30/05/2020 00:39

@steff13 they haven’t got away with the crime it’s to do with their actions after the crime.

OP posts:
HappyHammy · 30/05/2020 00:39

Is there an ongoing police investigation into whatever this person has allegedly done

CoachBombay · 30/05/2020 00:39

There's a reason they say a true secret can only be kept between you and a dead man.

People talk, one overheard conversation and you've had it.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 30/05/2020 00:40

Be prepared for those in power to already know and suppress the story.

ProsperTheBear · 30/05/2020 00:40

Do you have facts and proofs, or just hear-say because your friend told you about their friend?

It depends what it is, but I wouldn't do anything unless I know it's true. Police being involved doesn't mean someone is guilty.

Caplin · 30/05/2020 00:41

Actually, if you give info off the record, I have yet to have a journo break that in 20 years. It is pretty sacred.

You however need to be mega careful that the info you give doesn’t lead back to you, because other journos have not made that promise.

Purpleneonpinkunicorns · 30/05/2020 00:41

It depends on how serious it is @Sadie789, if its just some minor gossip what would just be used as revenge or gossip I would keep well clear.
But if it was something very illegal and hurting someone and needs to be shown what a dangerous person it is I would go anonymously to the press with it as the person who your are on about could hurt someone else.

Can you give any more details @Sadie789 without it being majorly identifiable?

clpsmum · 30/05/2020 00:41

Who is AS

Greysparkles · 30/05/2020 00:43

What is the point of this thread exactly?

HappyHammy · 30/05/2020 00:44

Would you have considered going to the press if it was jo public. Does the victim want this plastered all over the tabloids. Why dont they go to the papers. Does it actually involve you.

Needamanicure · 30/05/2020 00:44

People get away with things because lots of people protect them/won't tell etc....

Think Jimmy Saville ...... lots 'knew' but they didn't say.....

that is truly disgusting to me and I could never just sit there and let someone get away with it....

ClosedAuraOpenMind · 30/05/2020 00:44

AS = Alex Salmond, Id guess

Caplin · 30/05/2020 00:47

@happyhammy that is an issue, because that is the the kind of thing that means sex offenders get away with it for years, because only the victims really know the truth, and they are traumatised. This can lead to dozens of victims over several years, because no-one says anything.

Caplin · 30/05/2020 00:49

One more thought, if the police know, odds are the press knows and can’t do anything. Scottish police are leaky as a sieve (entirely on purpose).

Original poster
Sadie789 · 30/05/2020 00:53

I suppose it has elements of the Dominic Cummings thing if you want a relatable scenario.

So the person who went to the papers about him must have weighed up the potential for them to be exposed (I don’t know if they were as I haven’t followed it closely) and decided public interest was more important.

OP posts:
HappyHammy · 30/05/2020 00:55

Surely if this friend of a friend has done something awful to someone after they have already committed a separate crime then you go to the police

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