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AIBU?

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Original poster

Toddlers and the latest corona announcement

87 replies

Purpleflashingunicorn · 29/05/2020 18:20

Apologies if this has already been discussed, I couldn’t find any threads about it.

Am I right in thinking that nothing has changed in regards to the announcement if you have toddlers as they obviously don’t understand social distancing? there’s a few people on facebook who I know through nursery who seem so excited but have toddlers like I do and I’m just sitting here wondering, how can you keep a toddler at a distance from people for more than 3 minutes? Especially when it’s family that they’ve missed so much! Am I missing something?
I was hoping so much that the announcement was going to include some sort of good news for us but came away so disappointed as I have an extremely energetic toddler who I don’t feel I could social distance from family, putting them and us at risk.

Willing to be told that I’ve missed something and I’m entirely wrong!

OP posts:
Hercwasonaroll · 29/05/2020 19:27

@mintymabel That's why for lots of people, seeing family this weekend is a much better idea.

MintyMabel · 29/05/2020 19:31

@Hercwasonaroll

I don’t disagree.

Rubyroost · 29/05/2020 19:33

@mintymabel or toddler doesn't go to nursery and sees grandparents. Grandparents go home and only use delivery or click and collect. Parents also do the same. People need to use commonsense and risk assess appropriately.

EyeDrops · 29/05/2020 19:34

My two are 4 and 15 months. We've decided to see our parents this week before eldest starts school again on the 8th - we've all been isolating to be on the safe side anyway, so the risk is as low as it can be for now. To be honest, I think if we go for a walk or play in the garden, the kids wont be clambering on them or be in their face like they would be inside - I feel like a handhold or following around the garden is pretty low risk.

Once eldest is back in school, we'll wait again, but it'll be so nice to see them once or twice to break up the separation since March till whenever we'll next be able to.

I've really been agonising over it though, it's a hard situation.

Riotgirlxxx · 29/05/2020 19:38

Yeah dd1 is nearly 3 and she would just get confused and upset if we went to my parents and she couldn't cuddle them or go in the house to play with her toys there. She has started to accept the way things are and is settling into a routine so we will just continue with that for now.

I'm going to pretend I'm taking her baby sister to get more jags tomorrow, but actually go to my parents so they can at least see their new grandchild.

MintyMabel · 29/05/2020 19:39

toddler doesn't go to nursery and sees grandparents

Toddler seeing grandparents doesn’t help with the wider issue of getting childcare back online and kids back in education.

howlatthetrees · 29/05/2020 19:40

My kids won’t be able to distance, so I’m not sure what we’ll be doing

Bubbletrouble43 · 29/05/2020 19:49

My mum has looked after my 3 yo twins for an afternoon once a week since they were under a year old, and living local to us popped in to see them on average twice more every week. Till lockdown of course. She's 76, she is miserable without seeing them, panicking she will lose her relationship with them etc. We have all as far as I know followed the rules to the letter but she is coming to tea on Monday and she wants cuddles. She can't take this anymore. It's so difficult.

Khione · 29/05/2020 19:53

All the evidence so far shows that children rarely get it and when they do it's usually mild. So far only 3 kids in the UK have died from it.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-52003804.

To put that into perspective approximately 12 children a year die from flu, despite the vaccine. About 60 a year die in Road Traffic accidents either as passenger, pedestrian or cyclist.

And a study from Iceland that has one of the highest testing rates per capita has said
"Children under 10 are less likely to get infected than adults and if they get infected, they are less likely to get seriously ill. What is interesting is that even if children do get infected, they are less likely to transmit the disease to others than adults. We have not found a single instance of a child infecting parents."

www.nationalreview.com/corner/icelandic-study-we-have-not-found-a-single-instance-of-a-child-infecting-parents/

Whilst that is only one study I think it provides some evidence towards a low level of risk

I have no desire to advise anyone, just that I get comfort from these and think it helps to put the risk into perspective.

I suspect that the government are deliberately ignoring this issue as they do not want to be blamed if even one child dies.

Meredithgrey1 · 29/05/2020 19:56

Well, I think you can be sensible about it. My 11 month old is going back to nursery on Monday, so you could argue why is it not fine for a toddler not in nursery to hug a healthy, non vulnerable grandparent, but it is fine for my baby to go to nursery, not socially distance and be picked up by various nursery staff.

Stingeray · 29/05/2020 20:06

My 2 yo will listen to what she is asked to do and could easily be taken to see adults or older children as long as I keep an eye on her. Meetings with other toddlers are more difficult so will avoid for now.

NewLevelsOfTiredness · 29/05/2020 20:09

@Khione

That's the reality I'm seeing here in Demnark. My 1yr old Daughter has been in daycare since mid April and step daughters 5 & 9 back at school since early April. There's just no outbreaks occurring in the schools - and it's been nearly two months so we'd have seen it by now. The one case where some teachers caught it was discovered that one of them had caught it outside the school and infected the others - but none of the kids in the school were found to have been infected.

And trust me - these kids are NOT keeping a meter apart.

Healthyandhappy · 29/05/2020 20:14

My 5 year old is gr8. At inlaws other day she purposely moved away from her when sat on chair Grin both bk at school monday reception and y5. I've pulled the key worker card as we r both key workers and kids wanna go bk.

BertieBotts · 29/05/2020 20:15

I'm in Germany and our lockdown has been relaxed for a while. When I meet friends in parks, our toddlers don't really get that close. It's fairly easy to keep them apart by steering them and 1.5 metres/2 metres isn't actually a very long distance anyway.

I don't know how we would do it if it was family members. Because our family members are back in the UK this hasn't come up for us. But it's been nice to be able to have playdates of a sort.

BruceAndNosh · 29/05/2020 20:16

So what do want?

Do you want the concept of social distancing to be scrapped for the under 2s? Under 3s?

GoingBackTo505 · 29/05/2020 20:21

I won't be stopping my toddler from hugging his grandparents now. He'll be going back to nursery next week. My mum did one day a week childcare for us before lockdown and she'll be doing that again from next week. We're all happy with that. If he can mix with people from unknown households at nursery, then I'm not stopping him from being looked after and cuddled by my parents. It makes no sense to me. They're very young grandparents, none of us are in any at risk category and I'm using my judgement.

meow1989 · 29/05/2020 20:25

I think it depends on the toddler.
Ds is 2 at the end of June, his communication is excellent which I think really helps.

We started by me taking him for a long walk then at the end i told him we were going to see a grandparent at the end but we could only talk, no cuddles. I took him to the boot of my car and we sat in it with a snack and some toys and the person we saw came and stood 2m away.

Did this again with a different person and at the end trialled a 5 min walk. He thought it was great because he thought it was a game of chase.

We've now progressed on to actual walks and he happily runs along in front. Yes there are times hes asked for a kiss or cuddle or tries to get closer but we just repeat that we can talk not cuddle and hes fine.

With a friend and her toddler we parked boot to boot (about 3m away) and had a "car picnic" in our respective boots. Also worked well for about half hour before they started wanting to move about more.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 29/05/2020 20:32

It's sad but what do we expect them to do? It isnt going to go away. Surely adults being able to mix with strict social distancing is better than a flat no mixing rule. They cant just "put something in place" so toddlers can mix without social distancing. The fact is, toddlers are unhygienic and it isnt safe for them to mix. There's nothing to be done for it.

Nottherealslimshady · 29/05/2020 20:37

People are just ignoring the 2m thing. Theres pictures on facebook of people from different households cuddling. Now I'm feeling like people think I'm a dick for refusing to meet up when they're not socially distancing. We have elderly parents to get supplies for. I'm not risking their life.

ShastaBeast · 29/05/2020 20:42

In London and it’s very obvious friends are meeting up with children and not even trying to keep 2m apart - impossible anyway as pavements are narrower than 2m and people passing have to go between them. Roads are far too busy to step into.

It’s a risk assessment and clearly more important to keep the most vulnerable safe. Plus evidence suggests kids aren’t spreading the virus.

Gastonimo · 29/05/2020 20:51

My 2 and half year old has got the hang of social distancing. He knows not to get too close. We've been for walks with my mum and bumped into other people with kids and he keeps his distance while still interacting with them. It's quite sad that it's become the normal for him to know to not get close.

Rubyroost · 29/05/2020 20:59

@mintymabel you're forgetting that people have a range of childcare arrangements. For us I'm currently on mat leave and dad is sahd. So no nursery for either of ours in terms of child care. It depends entirely what people's situation is as to what they do

Qgardens · 29/05/2020 21:05

It's less risky if both households have been socially distancing. It's more risky if a child is in nursery, so even more important that that child then doesn't mix without socially distancing.
Those in the "my child is mixing with others at nursery so why shouldn't he mix with his beloved gp's" are completely missing the point.

It's not rocket science.
It's applying common sense and applying things in the spirit of which it is intended, rather than obeying to the letter of the law.

I've met gp's in my garden. They've entered via a side gate that is open, so they've not needed to touch handles. They've sat in their own chairs more than 2m away and drank their own drinks. I've broken Government guidelines but I'm happy I've not compromised us or them. It's obviously harder with a toddler but you have to work with what is practical for your own family.

3LittleMonkeyz · 29/05/2020 21:07

We've been using reigns

amusedbush · 29/05/2020 21:08

Today is the first day in Scotland that two households can meet (socially distanced) in a garden. My neighbours had their kids and partners and kids (so three households) over for a BBQ, all milling around and sitting piled on top of each other around a table to eat 🙄

People are hearing what they want to in the guidance and disregarding the other bits.

I’m not a curtain twitcher btw, my bedroom overlooks our gardens and they were being LOUD Grin