‘Oh stop it , it’s just for you at this stage’

[Stripeytopgirl]

My mum told me today ‘you need to start weaning her off that.’

Breastfeeding my 11 month old. I said ahh I know, but I’m not in a hurry, it’s a comfort to her.

‘Oh stop it , it’s just for you at this stage’
She replied. Almost irritated by it.

What?! What sort of pleasure does she imagine I’m getting out of it? I would actually quite like to have my boobs back. She’s says it as if even DD has had enough & you're forcing it on her! Which is clearly not true.

FWIW, my mum chose not to breastfeed me, I never judge her for that so why is she judging me for making a different decision?

I feel quite defensive over it now when before today it just wasn’t a big deal!

What do other people think? Is one to old? AIBU?

My mother wouldn't let me nurse my child in her house to begin with. Then she told me I had to use the toilet room to do it. I do believe some purple dislike that they made a different decision and they must be right. So my mother belittled me about it from the start. Maybe she was feeling inadequate cause she Didnt. People are weird. Enjoy your time nursing

I breasted my 3 until they were around the age of 1. However if I have another I’d do it for longer. It is also beneficial to breastfeed past the age of 1, so it isn’t just for you.

The longer you breastfeed, the greater the benefits. Ignore.

Even if she was right. So what? Is she jealous? That you enjoy feeding and cuddling your baby?

@Amicompletelyinsane I think my mum would love to ban me from doing it in front of her too tbh! I just can’t understand what makes her so uncomfortable, it’s not like I’m doing it over lunch or making a huge song & dance about it!

My eldest DD self weaned at about this age, but DD2 is showing no signs of wanting to yet. I’ve never had to actively ‘take it away’ so it’s not something I’ve even thought about yet. Next week she could decide she’s uninterested! I just don’t see the huge rush.. she’s not 12!

My Mum I insisted I went into another room to BF so I stopped visiting her. She tried to stop me BF in my own house and when I refused she told me I was disgusting .
Still bothers me nearly 40 years later .

YANBU

your child is a baby! Breastfeeding is absolutely appropriate if its what you both want. It’s not like you’re forcing an eight year old to breastfeed in the playground!

I’d been interested in people saying IABU opinions?

She see's it as you belittling her parenting choice. You also have a choice and shouldn't be swayed away from what you think is right.

Guidelines are babies should breastfeed for at least 2 years to achieve all the benefits and considering one of those is it helps to build on babies immune system and we're in the middle of a world wide pandemic I would be pretty angry if it was my DM.

She's being bonkers!! Her issue.

@Oldbutstillgotit that’s awful, there is absolutely nothing disgusting about breastfeeding. I think there is something weird about people who have such an issue with it though, it’s almost like they sexualise it?! Boobs are for feeding babies, society Has made them a sexual thing.

There isn’t a way to make a child bf if they don’t want to, so it’s clearly not ‘just for you’. I suspect your mum doesn’t understand that, by 1, it’s not just about nutrition (though that’s still important) but also about comfort, reassurance and connection. She wouldn’t stop you cuddling your dd, I’m sure. This is the same.

Thank you everyone, you have reassured me. I know there are people who judge extended Breastfeeding (although I wouldn’t even call 1yo extended really!), just a shame my own mother is one of them.

Ignore her you are doing the best for your baby. If it was an 11 year old that would be a whole different ball game!

My DH's family were like this and it was because I made a different choice to them and they didn't like it.

The ‘it’s just for you’ thing really got under my skin. Makes me feel like an idiot for some reason

I hate it when people say “it’s for you”

No it isn’t, it’s for the child

Even if it were just for you, so what? What's so fucking bad about wanting to bond with your child. The nerve of some people.

Breastfeed your child. Don't mind making any excuses as none are needed.

I wish I could have breastfed my twins.

My mil was horrified - and envious - that I bf ours when she said she couldn't...
Maybe there is a touch of envy op?
Mil tried to force feed food onto my very under age dc... She was told in probably less than polite terms so not do it..
She never had dc unsupervised unless absolutely necessary and not at meal times.

Nah, she's the idiot. I breastfed my DDs for 13 months each and if I'd known then what I now know (oldest is 19) I'd have kept going longer and tandem fed.

If you're still breastfeeding when they're 11yrs then that's a problem, 11 months is fine.

Of course it isn't for you, I hate when people say this.

Ignore her OP, you're providing your baby with something amazing. Most of the support I got for breastfeeding started waning at 6 months and by a year I was getting negative comments. Only a few people knew I was still breastfeeding at 21 months. People seem to be very ignorant of the benefits past a certain age, that doesn't mean they don't exist.

Who are the 10% who said YABU, and why?

Jesus she’d hate me. Dd is just over 3yo and still hasn’t self weaned yet like I was hoping she would!

“Ah well, Mum, that’s your opinion” and don’t give it another thought.

Mine fed morning and bedtime til almost 2.

If it suits you and suits your baby, no other opinion is relevant.

I guess she has issues around it.

Oh well!