To leave my niece's christening earlier than everyone else?

[catski]

Okay, here's the deal.

Many weeks ago my H and I arranged for friends (two couples) to come to ours for dinner and stay the night at the beginning of october. We live 30 mins drive from town where one couple lives. The other couple live in another town altogether, about 2.5 hours drive away. It's a bit of a big deal because we haven't seen each other for about a year and have been trying to get together for ages but giving birth and having a new baby has rather got in the way.

My SIL has just announced that she is going to have her daughter christened on the same day (ie, in a couple of weeks). Obviously we want to go to the christening which is around lunchtime but then she's having everyone back to hers afterwards at 3pm. I don't know how long we should stay before we leave to go home and prepare dinner/have our guests arrive - I haven't discussed with our guests yet what time they should come, but I know that the couple who live 2.5 hours away were thinking of getting here at about 3pm (but I guess I could ask them to go to the other couple first and come to ours later). We live 30 mins drive from my SIL so there is that to take into account too.

What's an acceptable length of time to stay at my SILs for after the christening in these circumstances?

It's up to you. How well do you get on with s-in-l? Is she likely to be offended if you leave early?

I would try and stay until about 4.30pm but explain to SIL why you can't stay any later. Get home by 5.00, prepare dinner and get friends over for 6.00pm. Hopefully she will understand that you did have this arranged for quite a while?

If your sil has left it so late to tell everyone about the christening then she'll have to expect some people have made other arrangements. I'd just tell her you have other plans (tell her what they are) so you'll only be able to stay for half an hour or so after the christening, if you can make it at all.

Would they be able to meet you at your SIL's?

i would go to the christening and skip the party, thats the important it isnt it?

As long as you are there for the actual christening and some of the party after then i don't see what the problem is.

Most reasonable people would understand this.

So you don't think I'm unreasonable to leave a bit early? Goodo!

I should add that I don't feel very comfortable around my SIL. I get the impression that she doesn't like me (same with my MIL) and I don't really enjoy these family occasions. I was wondering if these feelings were colouring my view of how long we should stay at her house afterwards.

So you don't think I'm unreasonable to leave a bit early? Goodo!

I should add that I don't feel very comfortable around my SIL. I get the impression that she doesn't like me (same with my MIL) and I don't really enjoy these family occasions. I was wondering if these feelings were colouring my view of how long we should stay at her house afterwards.

Its your own choice and like everyone says the actual christening is the important bit. I would pop back to the house afterwards but let them know that you wont stop long due to other arrangements. As long as you do a toast and have a bit of cake thats the main thing.

Oh lord - how do I get rid of that double post?

Lomondgal - I think it would be seen as a bit strange to ask my friends to meet me at my SILs (although I would prefer it as I'd have someone to talk to!) - I think it's just for family and her close friends.

In that case I would leave early, you will be there for the service which is what it is all about.

YANBU to leave early like others have said. But if you think you would feel awkward and would rather stay a bit later then prepare food the night before that you can just sling in the oven when you get back and doesn't need much preparation.

I do think though that if your sil was that botherered that everyone was there and hadn't made other plans she should have arranged this with a bit more notice. To be honest we would require several weeks if not months for a weekend event as we always have so much on! As would most people I know

My nephew is being christened on 28 October - and I have know about this for at least two months. DH just rang me to ask which Friday/Saturday he could go out in October and I was able to block the Saturday night before - don't want him hungover.

Do you and DH both drive? Maybe you could leave early and then DH and the DC follow later at nearer the time your guests will be arriving.