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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

That this is enough for food for a 7 year old?

25 replies

bbqdilemma · 28/05/2020 22:03

I looked after a family members seven year old today as her mum is a single parent who has been managing to mostly work from home but needed to go into work for an emergency today so we had a bbq in my garden just her and my household. I've noticed she's a little overweight and have seen her overeat at family events before and be sick. I felt awful today as I had to tell her no more food as she was still saying she was hungry after eating half a pizza, a plate of melon and strawberries, two slices of garlic bread, halloumi cheese, a full size burger and then a sausage cob and a slice of cake. I then caught her in the kitchen eating the leftover food from our plates and felt awful. As far as I know there are no problems with being underfed at home, more the opposite. Did I do the right thing by telling her no more? I'm usually relaxed with food and am not one to restrict or police eating.

OP posts:

Destroyedpeople · 28/05/2020 22:06

Sounds like me when I was a kid..

You totally did the right thing.

CatFaceCats · 28/05/2020 22:08

I would say so. I’m an adult and would struggle to eat all that.
I have an 8 year old boy with what I would consider a big appetite and no way would he manage that. It almost seems like 3 separate meals!

HollysBush · 28/05/2020 22:08

Does seam quite a lot. I think it was ok to say no more for now. You can’t just go on eating constantly although I suppose it was a bit of a party, sometimes children want to try everything. Maybe she finds food at home boring and got carried away?

Original poster

bbqdilemma · 28/05/2020 22:09

I did kind of a buffet with pizza and garlic bread and halloumi cheese as sides not expecting her to eat it as 2 meals.

OP posts:

HelloDulling · 28/05/2020 22:09

That is far, far more food than a child her age should be eating.

Original poster

bbqdilemma · 28/05/2020 22:14

Hollys they tend to over indulge her. She stays at her grandmas every weekend and she cooks her sausage and fried egg sandwiches for breakfast or when McDonald's is open buys her three hash browns at a time. She told me she ate trifle and ham wraps for breakfast this morning so it's not that food at home is boring. I'm starting to wonder if she may have a real food problem.

OP posts:

ElectricTonight · 28/05/2020 22:27

it is a lot but I used to stuff my face if there was party food about!

Ugzbugz · 28/05/2020 22:37

Trifle and ham wraps??? What is that?

My DS can eat loads, more than me and he is skinny and I'm plump but that is huge volumes

Original poster

bbqdilemma · 28/05/2020 22:39

Trifle and then ham wraps seperately, not literally trifle and ham together 😄

OP posts:

pandarific · 28/05/2020 22:41

I suspect it's a sugar thing - some people, especially kids, just can't handle a lot of sugar/carbs, it's spikes their blood sugar and they overeat it.

Have you for a few days? Can you try swapping out some sugary items for ones which are less so, eg eggs for breakfast, nuts, avocado as snack and so on and see if there's any difference to her saiety levels?

FlamedToACrisp · 28/05/2020 22:43

You were quite reasonable to say no more - it's your food and she had clearly had enough to eat - but at the end of the day, it isn't down to you to sort out her eating, whether it's an eating problem or just greed.

waitingforadulthood · 28/05/2020 22:44

You've got her for a day. Not a lifetime, you're shaking her food and greed in a day will not save her from obesity. That's her parents shout.

What did food/ hunger/ greed shaming her do for you or her? Forcing her to eat in secret to keep up with the appetite you admit her parents have encouraged and enabled?

You're heart is in the right place. But the reality is that child didn't need to be shamed. It'll have no beneficial effect

Original poster

bbqdilemma · 28/05/2020 22:48

I wasn't shaming her at all I was worried she was going to make herself sick as she has done in the past. I would tell my children that I think they've had enough now, is it shaming them

OP posts:

DamnYankee · 28/05/2020 23:00

I'd be sick after the 1/2 a pizza! That would concern me. I don't think you shamed her. I say "kitchen's closed" when I think my kids are eating out of boredom, and I'd do the same/have done the same with a child I was hosting.

Pixxie7 · 28/05/2020 23:10

Could it be that she eats junk food all the time but also that she isn’t fed regularly.

ChipotleBlessing · 28/05/2020 23:11

Oh please, you would not be sick after half a pizza. The MN competitive undereaters have arrived.

OP, it’s fine to say you’ve had enough. I have to say it to my kids sometimes, it wouldn’t occur to me to not say it to someone else’s child if I was looking after them.

SoloMummy · 28/05/2020 23:13

So she was at your home all day and this was what she ate during the whole day with you?

Destroyedpeople · 28/05/2020 23:14

Well I would feel nauseous after a sliver of pizza and a lettuce leaf. .. beat that

Clymene · 28/05/2020 23:19

Ah I see the competitive undereating has started
Go you @DamnYankee!

Honestly there is so much internalised misogyny in this. "I am a tiny, tiny woman and I barely need any food to survive'

Dear god

NuffSaidSam · 28/05/2020 23:20

'I'd be sick after the 1/2 a pizza!'

Are you allergic/intolerant to any of the ingredients?

If not and you're being sick you should see a doctor. Half a pizza is a normal portion for an adult, plus some salad and even a slice of garlic bread.

Original poster

bbqdilemma · 29/05/2020 07:36

Solomummy, she arrived at around three and went home at 8 ish. Her mum had already given her a jacket potatoe for lunch before she arrived.

OP posts:

Sceptre86 · 29/05/2020 07:59

It is a lot of food but then is her mum's responsibility to deal with it. Is she the kind of person who would appreciate your input or not? Was the pizza a kids or adult sized one? My 7 year old niece would eat half a pizza with chips and garlic bread quite easily but wouldn't normally manage a burger too. She would undoubtedly have room for dessert though!

tealandteal · 29/05/2020 08:01

Perhaps she has been eating a bit more of what she wants rather than what her mum might usually give her, if her mum has been trying to work from home? Trifle for breakfast?

MoMagic · 29/05/2020 08:28

@Clymene

Ah I see the competitive undereating has started Go you *@DamnYankee*!

Honestly there is so much internalised misogyny in this. "I am a tiny, tiny woman and I barely need any food to survive'

Dear god

😂

mrsBtheparker · 29/05/2020 12:27

My hollowed legged grandaughter wouldn't eat all that, at the weekend bbq she had a burger, halumi and salad and she's 12.

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