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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Struggling without routine

4 replies

jenjen99 · 28/05/2020 16:37

I'm on the aspergers spectrum. I handle life well. I know what makes it better and what makes it worse. I knew having a baby would test me. I put plans in place, baby classes, family visits, it was going well. Till lockdown. So scrap the plans. Partner now working from home, so I've lost the living room and personal space that goes with it. I've explained how important routine is to me, how you could replace 1 day in Disney land Paris with 3 weeks in Disney land Florida and I couldn't help but be disappointed. I know it's irrational. But the planning, knowing what's happening, really makes my life so much easier. With lockdown, with 2 bank holidays this month, I've been struggling. My partner has also taken some half days as work is quiet. I've explained that this has really thrown me. Today he's taken another half day. Telling me 1hr before he planned to finish. He's now upset as he thinks he's not wanted. But he really is. I had an afternoon of cooking planned to surprise him with home made Chinese, his favourite meal. And now I can't function. I've literally spelled out how to make me happy and i feel it's being ignored. I know how many people won't understand. I don't know how to explain to my partner or organize my life better to deal with these things. It won't be the last time I encounter changes. I just don't know who to talk to, my most trusted friend - my partner doesn't seem to understand/care
Thank you in advance

OP posts:
Dragonsanddinosaurs · 28/05/2020 16:45

I think for now you just have to hang in there. It is tough, but it won't be forever, and some semblance of normal routine will return.

LouiseTrees · 28/05/2020 16:55

Go back to a conversation with him and explain to him you really struggle with change. You love him and you definitely love the help with the baby but then you panic. Tell him it’s irrational but it’s part of your condition. Ask that he informs you of a change as soon as he can and doesn’t do any “surprise” changes because that’s when you freak out most.

TippingTulips · 28/05/2020 16:56

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

TippingTulips · 28/05/2020 16:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

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