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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's disgusting to put pictures of an injured pensioner on social media for praise

66 replies

CanWeGoOutsideYet · 28/05/2020 10:27

I've just seen this in a Facebook group. A pensioner had fallen over in the road and sustained a head injury. Along comes this twit with a camera, helps him up then takes pictures to splash all over social media beckoning people to tell him how heroic he is.

The elderly I know are very proud people and wouldn't take kindly to this humiliation, nor would I be happy if it were a relative of mine and I stumbled across this online.

I've covered the man's face (who doesn't look impressed at all) but the poster didn't, and now it has reached thousands of people who are in the comments telling the poster how wonderful he is.

Disgusting. AIBU? Am I just a miserable git?

OP posts:
lurker69 · 28/05/2020 11:39

this is grim but there are so many people on social media who love to tell everyone about their good deeds, then everyone comes along saying how superduper they are, one post i saw someone actually said 'oh theres not many like us around anymore' oh fuck off there is loads of people who help others all the time they just dont do it so they can tell everyone

Truthpact · 28/05/2020 11:43

What a twat. My mum and me spotted an elderly man that had fallen while driving. Last thing on our minds was taking photos, called an ambulance and got help from nearby houses. And then made the ambulance staff take the gentleman away to hospital as they were just going to treat him and leave him.

But yeah people won't help someone generally if they think someone else will. Been many studies on that in psychology over the years, started because of an incident where a woman was attacked in the garden area of a block of flats. She screamed for help, all of the residents heard and none called 911. They all assumed someone else would. Sad The police don't care if they get 100 calls on the same thing, they'd rather you did call incase they aren't aware.

babbez · 28/05/2020 11:46

"Old bloke" 🙄
If he said 'elderly gentleman' I might give him the benefit of the doubt. Shameless.

mrsBtheparker · 28/05/2020 11:48

Can I retrospectively add 'virtual signalling' to my hated phrases list from a few weeks ago. It seems to mean whatever suits someone's agenda on the day.

AdobeWanKenobi · 28/05/2020 11:51

If a good deed is done and not posted on Facebook is it really a good deed?

Annoys the shit out of me to OP.

Someone on one of my local groups was going around giving stuff to the homeless before Christmas. Commendable, but the forced smiles for the photo of the poor sod sat on the pavement at -2 in the middle of November so that the stupid woman could garner Facebook likes said different.
I was quite vocal about it and they stopped posting the photos, though I believe they were all collated into a newsletter and sent out that way.

returnofthecat · 28/05/2020 12:26

I'm sure some people did walk past.

Posting about his good deed is a bit attention seeking, but it's harmless as long as he doesn't post pictures of everyone else without their consent. Given the man is in the background and not actively posing for the picture, it doesn't really look like consent was given.

When we are at our most vulnerable, it's horrible to think some people would take pictures for their own benefit. The only reason to take a photo of someone in a vulnerable state would be to take evidence of a crime, in which case it should be sent to the police at the first available opportunity and all personal copies deleted.

It's about treating others with the same basic human dignity we would like ourselves.

Pelleas · 28/05/2020 12:49

Is this intended as an advert for his business - with van in the background and 'we were there to help'?

It's not great but there are worse things on social media to worry about.

EmeraldShamrock · 28/05/2020 13:24

I'm not a wonderful person by any stretch but I would definitely have helped in this situation, the thought of them putting it online is quite shameful I agree. I'd always stop my mobile phone is like a house phone I usually forget it when I go out so no chance of a sympathy selfie. Grin

Original poster
CanWeGoOutsideYet · 28/05/2020 13:25

The man who had fallen definitely didn't look as though he was consenting to his picture being taken, he looked caught off guard and not happy about it at all.

What would you even say in that situation?

"Do you mind if I take a picture of you and your injuries so I can put it on a Facebook group?"

Who would consent to that?

If that elderly man was my father I would be livid.

OP posts:
Original poster
CanWeGoOutsideYet · 28/05/2020 13:27

@EmeraldShamrock

I'm not a wonderful person by any stretch but I would definitely have helped in this situation, the thought of them putting it online is quite shameful I agree. I'd always stop my mobile phone is like a house phone I usually forget it when I go out so no chance of a sympathy selfie. Grin
I did that today. I only realised I was minus my phone when I was almost at the shops and had a two minute panic deciding whether I had dropped it or just forgotten it at home Grin
OP posts:
MrsOfBebbanburg · 28/05/2020 13:28

Urgh. So much in that post to hate. Where to start?

ChocolateQuiltedShitPig · 28/05/2020 13:34

At what point throughout this ordeal do you go "hang on mate, just gonna take a photo for fb".

Utterly disgusting

80sMum · 28/05/2020 13:36

YANBU. Why would the person have plastered the incident all over Facebook if not for his own self-praise. There can be no other reason. He wanted to tell as many people as possible so they could all pat him on the back and say well done. Cringeworthy, imo. Good deeds cease to be good deeds when there is another agenda in place.

MrsTommyBanks · 28/05/2020 13:37

@AgentProvocateur

I know it’s not the point, but “amberlance”! Attention seeker and thick.

How ignorant can you get? Ever heard of dyslexia?

Original poster
CanWeGoOutsideYet · 28/05/2020 13:39

Absolutely. I don't think he would be as bold as to do this if it were a young and less vulnerable person who had fallen over.

So patronising.

I'm the only person in the comments to have disagreed with it being posted so I'm the arsehole and everybody else thinks it's marvellous.

OP posts:
NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 28/05/2020 13:41

I agree. The 'hero' was disgusting to do this. Whatever happened to 'to give and not to count the cost'. Why the heck does he want recognition for what he has done?

I dread to think how a lot of the FB/twitter/instagram generation are going to turn out. It sounds as if many of that generation have no or low self-esteem. What will they do when they realise that all those 'likes' are so meaningless in the real world?

Original poster
CanWeGoOutsideYet · 28/05/2020 13:58

The whole thing just smacks of "look at me aren't I great"

He even managed to squeeze in at the end how he had donated some masks to the paramedics.

I'm hormonal and grumpy as sin today so did wonder whether I was alone in thinking it is disgraceful behaviour, I'm reassured to know I'm not alone.

OP posts:
TARSCOUT · 28/05/2020 14:11

..............but you've just done the exact same? NRTFT

EmeraldShamrock · 28/05/2020 14:19

At what point throughout this ordeal do you go "hang on mate, just gonna take a photo for fb" For some of the younger generation it is their first thought.
Someone being attacked, film it, RTC film it, missing the point of ringing emergency services.

Original poster
CanWeGoOutsideYet · 28/05/2020 15:30

@TARSCOUT

..............but you've just done the exact same? NRTFT
No I haven't. I've hidden the identity of everybody in the pictures.
OP posts:
Somewhereinthesky · 28/05/2020 16:11

But you did, did you get the consent from the person to share his post on different SM? Even though you have hidden the face, still some people may recognise. To me, it's the same as the person posting photo of injured person he helped.

Original poster
CanWeGoOutsideYet · 28/05/2020 17:49

Categorically not the same thing. You'd be hard pressed to recognise anybody with red blobs on their head.

Besides, his post is on an open group on the internet. If he didn't want it to be seen or spoken about he wouldn't put it on there.

It's world's away from taking pictures of an injured pensioners face and putting it online to gather praise.

OP posts:
Jellybelly15 · 28/05/2020 17:54

This is gross. The poor man.

Why can't people just do a good deed without feeling the need to seek praise for it? Nowhere near as bad as this but during lockdown I've seen no end of do gooders plastering their visits and drop offs to the elderly/needy over social media and it just makes me think they do it for the glory not genuinely to be nice. Would they bother if there was no Facebook?

This is a new low though...

Somewhereinthesky · 28/05/2020 18:27

I feel different. He posted because he was proud of what he did. What is wrong with that? He may inspire others to do good deeds. It would be a better world even if people did the good deed and wanting recognition from others then pretend they haven't seen it. In the ideal world, he should have silently done it unknown to anyone, but in reality, so many people crave approval from others, otherwise nobody is posting about their lives.
At least he has done some good to the society. What have you done? What does shaming and slagging the person achieve? Made you feel better for thinking about the poor person who was saved by him? Is it better no one has helped?

Jellybelly15 · 28/05/2020 18:40

@Somewhereinthesky the man he helped probably didn't want to be photographed and plastered over social media during a vulnerable and perhaps embarrassing moment in his life? That's what's wrong with it. It's good he helped but why does he need recognition at the expense of an injured pensioner?

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