Secret Vaper Anger

[MakeMineABourbon]

I’m fuming. I loathe smoking. My dh is now a vaper, annoyingly. I always thought he respected me and popped outside. But when my ds woke calling for me and I went downstairs to him (unusual flat layout, his room is linked by a low door to our lounge, we block it off with a book case as it has two doors), dh got there first. I heard my son ask what that funny smell was and dh said it was his breath. But I could smell it in the lounge and hall, which as I say is linked to my son’s room. Which means my son has been breathing that crap in. I don’t care if people say it’s only water vaper. As I type I can taste it. I confronted him and he lied. He then came to bed and changed the subject and I said again how much it annoyed me and I was ignored. Not even an apology. I had to say “Not even an apology?!“ He decided to sleep in the lounge. Livid isn’t the word. But AIBU?

He decided to sleep in the lounge.

Which would suggest he is feeling shame.

You have every reason to be angry. He should respect your boundaries on this.

I would be expecting a frank discussion in the morning.

PS - there is never any value in asking for an apology. If you get one or if you don't, neither will be satisfying after it being asked for.

If you have a mutual no smoking/vaping ban in the house and he broke it, YANBU

If he has been hiding his vaping and denying doing it -YANBU to be aggrieved at him for lying.

If you have never discussed no smoking/vaping in the house and he has done it - you need to have a discussion on ground rules and wake up with a fresh slate and ground rules set.

Thank you both and FATEdestiny, you’re right, it wasn’t, especially the tone he used.

Coach Bombay ground rules have always been that he goes outside. I have caught him before and made my feelings known. It’s that ds has been breathing it in that makes me so very