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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Runner v dog walker

55 replies

Inniu · 27/05/2020 17:12

I suspect we were both being unreasonable here but I am feeling terrible about it and trying to figure out how I should have handled it.

I run. I try to be a responsible runner and to be aware that other people can be nervous of runners these days. I try to run in quieter places or at least places with wide paths, to stick to the putter edge of the path and to run on the road it I can when I meet groups, couples etc

I started taking DS for runs about a month ago and we always go to somewhere that has very wide footpaths, run in single file and follow the same distancing I do on solo runs.
DS is 9 and autistic.

Today when running a man came towards us, he went to the middle of the path with his arms out and his dog on a lead just off the edge of the path on the road.

I got confused. I checked that DS was behind me so we weren’t taking up too much of the path or blocking him. So I just asked the man which side he was on. He shouted at me that runners need to be 4 meters on to the road. I got on to the road a little but he seemed to loosen the lead and his dog came at us. DS started making panicked sounds and going further in to the road. I caught DS. The man kept going on about 4 metres. Which would have put us well in to the middle of the road. We were quite far into it because of the dog anyway.
I stupidly argued with him and said he needed to share the path him on one side and us in the other. There were no cars at the time I should just have taken DS to the middle of the road to avoid the argument.
I got past, calmed DS down and we ran on.
Further on our loop I could see him coming towards us again.
A man ran past him and he didn’t stick out his arms or lengthen his dogs lead.

I warned DS to ignore him but that we would go on the road.

The man did the same thing again and shouted that dogs can’t have corona so if is ok for his dog to make us stay 4 metres away for him because runners breathe heavily.
I again told him, while holding on to DS on the road, that he needed to share the path and we ran on.

I do understand that the man who was probably 70 would be nervous because of the virus.

I am partly mad at myself for getting drawn to an argument and not staying calm. But I am partly livid because using a dog to frighten a child on to a Road is a lot more dangerous than running past someone with a 2 metre rather than a 4 metre distance.

OP posts:
Original poster
Inniu · 27/05/2020 17:12

Sorry that is massively longer than I realised.

OP posts:
Potionqueen · 27/05/2020 17:15

He wbtu. Trying to bully a woman and child.

Wfhwith3yearold · 27/05/2020 17:17

As a non runner and a non dog owner he was being a massive dick. The fact he targeted you twice while allowing some else, a man, past just proves it.

I find runners in my area are much more polite and conscious of personal space than dog owners. So many times I have had dogs, which are off the lead with no recall, jump on me or my toddler. But it's OK cause the dog is friendly, apparently.

I hope you DS is OK and not discouraged from going a run.

cologne4711 · 27/05/2020 17:18

He was a twotsit. The rule is 2m, not 4! He just didn't want to move over. I haven't had that with runners but it's a regular thing with couples out for a walk, won't move over and won't go single file. Now that the roads are busier you can't necessarily go into the road anyway.

If he is that nervous because of his age, he can either go out at 6am or 9pm when it's not likely to be busy (though there will still be runners around).

Interesting he didn't say anything to a bloke, probably thought he'd get punched. Females are an easy target.

Standrewsschool · 27/05/2020 17:19

Never heard of the 4 m rule. Where I live, one person would go on the inside, and the other on the outside, and walk on the road if there were no cars. In a country track situation, you would just be either side of the path. Whoever was nearer the roadside first would probably opt for that route.

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 27/05/2020 17:21

He sounds a horrible bully! How telling that he did nothing when a man ran past him.

Yanbu

Dreamersandwishers · 27/05/2020 17:23

What a horrible man! I live in an area that’s very popular with walkers, runners, dog walkers and cyclists and to be honest pretty much everyone has been considerate and polite, and made way for each other.
Sorry you had that experience.

foamrolling · 27/05/2020 17:23

The fact that he didn't do this to the man who passed says it all. He wasn't nervous, he was a bully. He wanted to push you around and make you uncomfortable. You did absolutely nothing wrong.

Mollymalone123 · 27/05/2020 17:24

You were not in the wrong- it is up to all of us to be considerate- I walk two dogs- we live in the countryside and an awful lot of people have been cycling- jogging- walking-dog walking etc and we all seem to have naturally fallen into the idea of giving each other space or letting people pass us at a distance.if I’m on a quiet road or in fields my dogs are off lead - they get called back to me if we see anyone jogging or cycling as I don’t want to cause an accident or dogs to get hurt.they will come and sit until that person has passed.if only everyone could be more tolerant!
You did nothing wrong- the man was an idiot and an irresponsible dog owner who should be ashamed using his dog like that
Hope your son is ok

Standupthisisnotateaparty · 27/05/2020 17:27

A man ran past him and he didn’t stick out his arms or lengthen his dogs lead

This should tell you everything you need to know. Call him out next time. The prick.

SquashedSpring · 27/05/2020 17:29

He was using a dog to force a child to run in the road? I don't know what to say!

Jayaywhynot · 27/05/2020 17:30

I'd have lost my rag and said something like "oh do fuck off you silly old sod" but then I have a very short fuse (blaming it on the menopausa) Grin

BogRollBOGOF · 27/05/2020 17:33

He's a misogenistic, knobhead bully. There is absolutely nothing about 4m, but there are laws about dogs being under control which includes not being intimidating.

My 9yo DS with autism would be terrified by the shouting and the dog. I hope your DS is OK.

It might be worth sharing on local fb groups to see if he has been intimidating to others.

rwalker · 27/05/2020 17:35

Absolute wankers you did nothing wrong.

DamnYankee · 27/05/2020 17:38

I'm glad you shouted at him!
What a misogynistic jackhole
Hopefully, he will get trampled during a women's marathon some time in the near future.
Karma's a bitch. Grin

AnnaNimmity · 27/05/2020 17:40

i'm a runner, and finding it intensely annoying when people walk down the middle of the path, or several people abreast. It's getting more dangerous to run into the road (which is getting busier each day) than it is to run by a pedestrian.

when I'm walking my dog with my children, we also have to walk into the road.

(in fact I always have to go into the road no mater what Hmm)

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 27/05/2020 17:42

take your phone with you next time - if he tries it again, record him and report to the police for harassment.

Nottherealslimshady · 27/05/2020 17:44

He was a prick and bullying you. I always move my dog out the way of runners and cyclists but I do sometimes want to push people off their bikes that fly by within an inch of my dogs nose!

CatandtheFiddle · 27/05/2020 17:44

The man with the dog was completely unreasonable. Not you.

I am a runner - all the aggro against runners seems to me to be from people who've never exercised in their lives before. They are not good at sharing.

lampygirl · 27/05/2020 17:46

This man was a dick, I’m not excusing him, but there have been some reports that 2m is not enough distance at running pace (or cycling) although this is generally in the ‘slipstream’. Maybe it would be easier if you are approaching more nervous or vulnerable looking (aware that’s a shit term but can’t think of how to put it better) to slow down to a walk to reduce this, pass the person, then pick up the jog again.

RevIMJolly · 27/05/2020 17:46

I’m afraid I would have been with the poster who would have told him to fuck off.

Splinkyplonk · 27/05/2020 17:48

He is an idiot. The dog has nothing to do with it. Take a water pistol next time.

BeebSleeve · 27/05/2020 17:51

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

dontdisturbmenow · 27/05/2020 17:51

is ok for his dog to make us stay 4 metres away for him because runners breathe heavily
I must have missed that you were more at risk of passing Covid for breathing more heavily!

sunrainwind · 27/05/2020 17:51

I'm a runner and a dog walker - I think he was being totally unreasonable

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