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Original poster

Children in shops

63 replies

Friedbluetomatoes · 27/05/2020 13:42

Apart from our daily walks, bike rides and drives out my 14 and 12 year old haven’t been anywhere since lockdown.
For my 12 year old dd’s birthday we have redecorated her bedroom. I have purchased most things online but there are a couple of bits l can’t get hold of online.
Obviously none of these bits are essential so we’ve left it for a while but she’s eager to get her room finished and I said that if it wasn’t too busy we could visit our local B&M soon.
I’m now in two minds if she should come with me or not. I, myself have only been out to the supermarket once a week since lockdown and haven’t yet seen any kids there whilst doing my shop.
Would you take your 12 year old into a shop at the moment?
Silly question I know but my head and judgement have turned to mush since lockdown and I just don’t know what to think anymore with so many friends and family having differing opinions on this crisis!

OP posts:
Mnthrowaway20202 · 27/05/2020 14:33

To be frank, most retailers (particularly the staff in their shops) would prefer 1 person per household unless you’re a carer or a single parent with young children. A 12 year old can stay at home.

Using shops as a “fun outing” during lockdown is unfair on the staff isn’t it? If you think this is okay, I hope you turn a blind eye when you see people shopping with their partners, friends, entire household etc. There isn’t a difference. Let’s just increase queue sizes and ramp up the change of covid transmission why don’t we?

Mnthrowaway20202 · 27/05/2020 14:35

Everyone’s mental health has been affected by this unprecedented pandemic, not just your children. We’d be on the road to another peak if everyone just thought “fuck it” and went on as normal.

Original poster
Friedbluetomatoes · 27/05/2020 14:43

Mnthrowaway20202 you’ve obviously read my op wrong! If you re-read you will see that there is no mention of a ‘fun’ shopping trip with my child or a fuck it attitude. If you read properly you will see that I have said multiple times that I will not go in the shop if it’s busy. Please read the post thoroughly before commenting. The mental health of us all is important during this crisis but even more so for young adolescents, keeping them locked down for months on end is going to have an ever lasting long term impact on there mental health and we will have major, major problems in years to come.

OP posts:
Waxonwaxoff0 · 27/05/2020 14:43

I'm a single parent so I've had no choice but to take my 6yo to the shops. I don't see how a 12 year old going in a shop is any different to an adult, they aren't going to run around touching everything like young children might.

babyt2020 · 27/05/2020 14:45

I'd take her but I'd go as soon as it opens, I've just found shops less stressful first thing when they're emptier as there's lots of numpties getting too close!

FudgeBrownie2019 · 27/05/2020 14:47

I've not let either of my DC near a shop for the last 10 weeks. They're not extra vulnerable or shielded, I just think unless you really need to, there's no reason to.

Fluffyglitterystuff · 27/05/2020 14:48

It's not a fun outing though.

I've taken my 12 year old into the shops a few times now. He's so fed up and it does him good and I don't say that lightly. He's old enough to know how to behave and it's important for him to see and understand what's going on and learn how to behave.

I go to the supermarket once a week so it isn't like we are popping in all the time for the fun of it.

Starlet9729 · 27/05/2020 14:49

I am wondering the same op. I totally understand some parents have to do take their dc but I’ve avoided it completely. I hate taking my kids shopping so good excuse 🤫

But yeah. I need to go to pets at home. By the time my oh gets home from work and I drive over there (half hour drive) it would be shut so either I take the kids or don’t bother. I’m not sure what to do! Our local Independent pet store is still closed!

I think at their age they would be fine. They more than likely understand social distancing and not to touch everything.

As for catching it. If you were to go b&m and game in contact with it you are likely to pass it on to your family anyway!

Also, a lot of kids are going back to school next week anyway. They just as well go out shopping too!! 🧐

Also, I would suggest going early!

Mnthrowaway20202 · 27/05/2020 14:51

I was responding to the posts on this thread in general. Do what you want, I don’t shop at B&M so this wouldn’t personally affect me - I don’t care. I’m just saying if everyone did the same, we’d be even more fucked than we were in March and we’d be perpetually stuck in lockdown for longer? I’d rather do things properly the first time around so we can return to normality sooner, which would be better for everyone’s mental health wouldn’t it?

Also it’s not a competition, but I’m not sure about “young adolescents” having it the worst. There are people that are struggling to meet their basic survival needs or trapped in abusive situations.

Fluffyglitterystuff · 27/05/2020 14:51

It's also nowhere near normal.

I used to go to the supermarket 3 times a week, retail parks once a week, we'd go to town on a weekend. We were forever in shops.

This is nothing like normal.

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 27/05/2020 14:53

I would take her at that age, as she is able to socially distanced.

I wouldn’t take my 6 yo as exh has repeatedly done!

TooTiredTodayOk · 27/05/2020 14:56

I took my 16 y/o out with me last week - I needed to go to 3 different shops and we had an aimless wander around the town centre too doing some wi doe shopping. It was a lovely hour and did him the word of good.

Windyatthebeach · 27/05/2020 14:56

My 14 yo dd is( taller than meAngry!) very sensible. Unlike the adults pushed us out of the way as we stood in the designated queue.. Staff the same. Aisles blocked with cages of stick and staff putting stuff on shelves.

SueEllenMishke · 27/05/2020 15:01

It's fine.
I took my 5 year old to the supermarket today. Other than walks with me or his dad he's not been anywhere for over 10 weeks. He was starting to get scared about going out so I wanted him to see it was okay. If we're going to be social distancing for a while he needs to learn how to behave.
We washed hands, used sanitiser and made sure we didn't touch our faces.

milveycrohn · 27/05/2020 15:03

A lot of shops are still only allowing only one person inside from a household.
Take your phone and do a whatsapp video call to her instead.

SisterVanHelsing · 27/05/2020 15:05

My 14 year old begs me to take her to Asda with me ConfusedGrin.

She used to beg me not to.

(I don't, but about 2/3 of the people I saw in there yesterday were pairs or groups of adults, so it seems nobody's questioning it.)

peoplepleaser1 · 27/05/2020 15:11

I wouldn't. From what I have heard trying to social distance in that particular shop is impossible. The fact that they opened during a time when only essential retail should be open also SATs a lot about their sense of social responsibility.

I think that it could be very stressful if you take her- you'll naturally want to keep her safe and before you know it you're creating anxiety for her because she's in an impostor situation where she can't keep herself safe.

custardbear · 27/05/2020 15:14

Personally I wouldn't. As a nation we need to be vigilant and stick to rules and reduce risk, having two or even three of you in a ship increases footfall, increases risk to them, you and others, multiply that up by everyone who has kids also, that really increases the amount of people readily spreading and receiving the virus - and it's inside too so less fresh air, more bugs in the immediate atmosphere thst has less space to escape into the wider atmosphere - I think keep children away from Shops for much longer unless they're so small They can't stay in alone, even then I'd be reluctant personally

Original poster
Friedbluetomatoes · 27/05/2020 15:22

Tbh, I’m nervous about going myself tbh, other than the supermarket shop once a week (which I absolutely hate and whizz in and out ASAP) I don’t go anywhere where there are many people (we live in a fairly rural area) but I also don’t want my kids getting anxious about going anywhere in the future especially as there probably won’t be a vaccine or any kind of herd immunity for a year or so. By the time that happens so many kids will be afraid of going anywhere. My friend can’t get her 15 year old son to put a foot out the door he’s so worried about catching the virus. Obviously, like us all, I don’t want to put my children at risk but I don’t want them afraid to go out the door either.

OP posts:
Chickychickydodah · 27/05/2020 15:29

I go as soon as it opens, not busy at all .

Aria20 · 27/05/2020 15:34

My 9 yo came to Asda with me the other day, he wore a mask his nan made him and didn't touch the trolley or anything in the shop and used hand gel once back to the car and washed his hands once home. He just wanted to get out for a bit and I knew he'd be sensible.

I wouldn't take my toddler tho unless I had no option as I wouldn't want her touching the trolley or trying to pick stuff up!

Harpingon · 27/05/2020 15:38

The reason they don't want families or groups of 2 - 3 people shopping together is because it's hard for others to social distance from them. They take up an isle and no one can get past. It also increases the risk to staff who have to work to keep the shops open for you. It's just a bit selfish right now.

JessicaPeach · 27/05/2020 15:45

Our local b&m is a big one and one of the most well managed shops I've seen since lockdown. Certainly a lot better than M&S, Waitrose and Tesco, all of which I've tried over the past couple of months. I've taken my 6yo to b&m a couple of times, he is well behaved and as someone else said, it's done him good to get out and have a bit of normal. Probably less risk in terms of catching the virus now while there's less people around than there will be when all of the shops reopen and people start going out in swarms again!

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 27/05/2020 15:45

Go in the last 30 minutes before closing as evenings are quieter and yes i would take her, at 12 years old she is able to social distance.

Maryjane3227 · 27/05/2020 15:48

I don't drive, I'm a single parent so yes, I've taken my 11 year old who helps me with carrying. What I don't understand is whole families at a shop, 4 or 5 people, all huddled around the one shelf, deciding which cereal to buy.