To ask why you’re with your DH

[SpaceCat5]

The reasons I am with my husband are:

1. I really love our beautiful house and garden, which I could never afford or maintain on my own.

2. our DC are happy and settled. They adore their father.

3. I don’t have any other family, so if I shared custody, I’d spend a lot of time away from our DC, who are my world. I have lots of friends, but could never crash their family Christmas etc just because I’m on my own every second year.

I know a lot of you will write that you adore and love your spouse and that they’re your best friend. I’m telling myself that everything is fine. I think my husband is fine with how everything is. I wish I could rewind time to having never met him. It’s not a bad marriage, just a sad, dysfunctional one. A lot of people are in much worse situations.

As the kids love him and I have no family whatsoever.

Do you actually want to know why I'm with DH or do you have questions about your own marriage? You say you wish you had never met him? Why is that?

Oh this is so sad. Have you spoke to him about how you feel? Most relationship problems boil down to lack of communication. Hugs

Have you spoken to your husband about your marriage?

What's sad and dysfunctional about it?

1. Buy your self the cutest shoebox of a house and make It a home

2your kids can love their dad from a distance as wel 3you don't know about custody. They might be with you 50/50 they might be 80/20. Etc

Most of all I just wanna say CHOOSE YOU. Dont waste your life staying where you feel unhappy. You are not doing anyone a favor with that.
Also. You'd be surprised by friend who would love to have you over at Christmas. I love providing a home for friends who have no family etc especially! when the holidays are on

Op, I agree with @yeahnahmum but also want to ask if you’ve tried Relate? It made a massive and I mean MASSIVE difference in my relationship after two sessions. It’s not all golden suddenly but it helps. You haven’t said that it’s abusive but it comes across as you want the life you have without him - which is fine - but can’t. You haven’t said he’s abusive or anything, but is it worth trying to salvage?

Staying with someone because you like the house is pretty shallow behaviour really. Have some integrity and leave him if you're not in a supportive loving healthy relationship