This happened more than a decade ago. Hope he all will forgive me, but it’s haunted me for quite some time. Long one..., pull up your chairs, all welcome.
We got married in a very organised way. Both sets of parents met at ours to discuss the wedding. Unfortunately,, meeting was crashed by two SILs and two BILs (I’m an only child). No biggie from my perspective, we’ve lived together for ages, so the more the merrier, looking forward to a big party atmosphere all round.
We will be paying for the wedding, so should be an easy going pre nuptial meeting, right?
Anyways, to cut a long long story short, my mum and dad ask at this meeting, what they could give us as a wedding present. They love me to bits, love my partner too, and so want to make something matter as a present. The then DP parents have e an idea for both sets of parents to contribute equally to our honeymoon, to be announced at the wedding as a gift, from both parents.
Everyone in the family knows how much I love Cornwall. It’s always my go to destination. So my future PIL book and equally share the cost with my parents, of a holiday house there for two weeks, I cannot believe it. We both work full time, paying off student debt and mortgage so a two week holiday is the best gift ever.
Wedding was great. Everything lovely and as planned. We have all the booking details of the holiday home and decide to go there the day after the booking Is made (confirmation email, all good). Still can’t believe the parents have stumped up the cost of this!!!). Never been so excited!
Get there, car full of clothes, food and lovely bubbly presents from the wedding. I’m thinking as we pull up that this must be the wrong address as the house seems occupied.
We are sitting in our car, scratching our heads, when my MIL appears. Shouts at us to get a move on as they’re putting on a movie. We get out of the car, and it’s like a scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. All of my DHs family are there. For a moment I think they’re there to welcome us.
But no. My PIL have used the money my parents have innocently given them to book a four bed house. Bedroom for us, one for PIL, and both SIL with a bedroom for them, husbands and two kids each.
Yes, all this for our honeymoon, jointly paid for by my parents.
The house seemed full, really full, what with kids toys, blankets, etc. Bathrooms covered in kids bath equipment . Absolutely nothing romantic.
I felt overwhelmed and hid in our allocated bedroom (I later found out that one of the SIL had taken the “master” bedroom with the en-suite).
It’s literally years later. Many, many issues and water under the bridge.
My mom died recently. Not unexpectedly, but so so so hard.
One of our conversations resulted in her. questioning why I had my in laws on honeymoon, and not her? She always felt super close and it troubled her that they half paid for a holiday for the in laws and it irked her greatly over the years.
Now it irks me more than it did then.
Was it crazy. I hated the in laws crashing our honeymoon. The only comment from my husband was that the house was paid for the two weeks anyhow, and didn’t see a problem.
AIBU, regardless of my mom’s recent passing, to feel newly aggrieved at the cheek of them crashing our honeymoon.
And a big thank you for reaching the end of this humongous post.