Annoyed at family member

[Saunafan]

Hi,

I’m just after some opinions if possible please. I have a sister who I’m very close to and who is my best friend. She has been trying to get pregnant for years and has suffered losses in the recent past. She has recently found out she is pregnant and I’m so happy and excited for her. I wanted to do her a baby shower but was waiting for the anomaly scan to be sure everything was okay before organising anything due to her history. I didn’t want to tempt fate so to say.

Anyway, another friend asked my other sister if there were any plans as she wanted to arrange a shower for her. The friend could not find me on social media as I have strict settings. The family member told the friend to go ahead as no one had any plans and she would be far better at doing it than any of our family.

I accept I hadn’t told anyone that I was planning this (there were other issues going on at the time which I won’t get into but were hard and stressful) so I was going to mention it in the next few weeks when all that was sorted.

I’m annoyed that she did not bother asking me or other close fam silt whether we had plans before telling that friend to do it. I personally would have said that I didn’t have a plan but I’d ask the others first and get back to her. That to me is the reasonable thing to do rather than to make presumptions and decisions for everyone, especially given the circumstances.

I’m just after some opinions please as to whether you would be annoyed and whether you would’ve thought to check first.

TIA

OP why not offer to make or supply a cake. And then just enjoy the day without the stress of being the organiser.

Sorry OP but baby showers are massively cringe. Its basically begging off your nearest and dearest. Don't touch that american nonsense with a bargepole. There are plenty of ways to make a new mother feel special without roping people in and forcing them to part with a lot of cash for expensive gifts. Just get her something nice yourself, or take her out for the day.

Does it matter who organises it as long as your sister has a lovely day? Stop making it about you.

Thanks for the replies. I appreciate the opinions.

I’m not a huge fan of Babyshowers - I didn’t have one myself and I know she wouldn’t want anything too flashy either. I had a small get together to celebrate planned what with all the history and our family living away from each other and not being able to get together often. It wouldn’t have been your typical baby shower event.

I still think it would have been right of her to ask first (there are other issues with her that I won’t get into) but I can see not everyone feels the same. As long as the day is enjoyable for mum to be ill be happy and I’ll just have to let my grievance go.

It would have been more right for you to actually mention it to people first. You assumed that no one else was planning a party. Your sister assumed you weren’t as she’s not a mind reader.