To ask if you feel that shyness/lack of confidence tends to be generally associated with immaturity?

[StirlingWork]

I've deliberately phrased the question like this so it's not so much what you personally think but in the abstract - do you think this is the generally held perception?

Could it be for example that people who lack confidence can sometimes be seen as a liability and perhaps less able to handle situations?

I think perhaps what I'm suggestig is that shyness is sometimes just being a square peg in a round hole and not understanding that you don't have to endure social situations that make you feel that way just because you think that's what you are supposed to do. When shyness is a crippling problem is when people can't get over themselves in order to get on with life, form connections, explore attraction to someone or form friendships. We have to understand that everyone feels embarrassed and hesitant and exposed at the thought of reaching out to others, daring to express ourselves, daring to admit liking, or own opinions, it's just something you have to feel and push through anyway. When you can't do that, that's real crippling shyness

I honestly don't even believe in "shy" anymore. It is meaningless as an adjective to me now.

It is context dependent. It's not legitimate.

And real shyness is perhaps linked to immaturity, in that when we mature we gain awareness that the sky won't fall down if we open our mouths or use our bodies to express ourselves.

People who won't reveal themselves even one to one and even over time are difficult to feel close to. We don't know that they are 'shy'' though do we? Only the person themselves could say that

@36LivingThatLockdownLife
I agree, 'shy' is pretty meaningless as a way to describe someone

I wouldn't say shy feels square peg in a round hole to me. And avoiding talking with people where you feel you might putting foot in it, just seems human nature.
The truly shy people I've met have the 'ground swallow me now' look, I remember a very shy student at work who knocked politely on the meeting door during MDT, waited for it to be opened and waited to be invited to speak to say 'I'm very sorry to trouble you all but the man in bed 6 has stopped breathing.' In the end we got down to the issue of why she hadn't pulled the emergency buzzer or shouted for help. She was so painfully shy she couldn't stand the idea of people looking at her making such a fuss.

it is context dependent
True

Everde what you described above was sheer incompetence rather than shyness. That person did not have the competencies to fulfil the contractual requirements of the job.

People who won't reveal themselves one to one and perhaps over time are difficult to feel close to - ah but sometimes 'keeping people at arm's length is sensible not shy
One of the least confident people I know was if anything, overly forthcoming when I introduced her to one of my other friends she didn't know. It's almost as if she was doing this out of a sense of obligation. My other friend, who although not loud, I see as more confident, was sort of looking at her as if to say wtf?

Agree with pp, all depends very much on how it manifests

based on what I said in my last post, perhaps people who lack confidence do things out of obligation and feel they have to overcompensate?

Thinking about it, how would I know if someone is shy? I'm wracking my brains to think of a person I know who I could describe as shy. Apart from one of my children ... but I only know that because I really know them iyswim.

*Chicchiccchicchiclana - my dad is and a girl I went to school with is

I think shyness can be perceived as diffidence, stand-offishness and sometimes arrogance, but not so much immaturity. I think it is far more immature to not make the effort with people’s individual differences and to lack tolerance for others’ feelings.

I don't see shyness as immaturity at all. In some cases, especially in children, I actually see it as a trait of maturity. The shy child often understands and recognises a situation very well and wants to make sure any interaction is appropriate. Conversely, those who are not shy, especially children, show their immaturity loud and clear with their loud opinions and lack of empathy or ability to read a situation.

I don't associate one with the other generally but sometimes I guess you could see a connection in some situations.

Someone who is shy can still be assertive and deal with situations they need to address.

@OhTheRoses
She was a student and mortified when she realised what she'd done, but in that moment her fear of being noticed by others overruled anything else in her mind.
She's now amazing at what she does and has the confidence she needed.