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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to stay calm

3 replies

Calmymccalmpants · 24/05/2020 20:10

Apologies as I know this is totally trivial.

In a nutshell, we have been having a lot of trouble with our builder, who is doing our extension. He did most of the job and then disappeared about 6 months ago when the job was in the final stages.

We are now starting legal proceedings to either force him to finish up (we're not in the UK and lockdown has been eased here, so he could come back but hasn't) or to be sacked and pay us back the money he owes. Either way it's going to be a drawn-out, expensive and frustrating process.

The rational part of me knows that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. I have a house and money on top of that to extend it, I have a job and an income, and (as far as I know) a healthy family. I KNOW I should count my blessings. But the irrational part of me is spending hours every day fixating on this situation and getting more and more angry and miserable.

What can I do to manage my (over)reaction to this situation? Any advice is very welcome. Thanks

OP posts:
SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 24/05/2020 20:14

This is not an overreaction! What a dick! Even if you'll end up with your house and no financial hardship, you'll have spent time and energy and heartache getting it all sorted.

I'd be furious. You're allowed to be furious.

Calmymccalmpants · 24/05/2020 20:20

Thanks @SomeoneElseEntirelyNow. It's nice to know that maybe I'm not completely overreacting! And it really is a question of time; I have so little of it, with a very intense f/t job and young children, I really resent wasting hours and days of my time trying to get this man to fulfil his contract.

OP posts:
SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 24/05/2020 20:23

You're not overreacting at all! The best way to process emotions is to actually feel them - be angry, be upset, be frustrated. Otherwise you'll never be able to let it go

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