To ask if anyone has had something work for libido?

[Confrontayshunme]

Since having two DD's, I have virtually no sex drive. GP offered me three different types of pill but all have been worse than the last: one I felt horrendous nausea for four months, the next I had terrible mood swings which affected my bipolar disorder and made relationship worse, the last I had a constant 2 months period and kept passing out from anaemia.

Hormonal interventions aren't working for me. I am just below the middle of normal BMI, and I read exercise helps so I am doing that 5 days a week. Nothing has really helped. I took Maca powder root for a while with no discernible difference on a friend's recommendation.

Is this just how it is now, or has something herbal or therapy or physical worked to get things going again? I feel a bit sad that the desire for sex is just gone.

YABU - Just close your eyes and think of England. This is just how it is.
YANBU - Yes, there is something you haven't thought of.

Does the doctor think it's hormonal or linked to your bipolar? Are you on any other medication and how old is your youngest?

He just said that the pill is the only real treatment (which surprised me) and it is not linked to my particular bipolar meds. I have mild high blood pressure and take a calcium channel blocker for that. Youngest is nearly four and I stopped breastfeeding over two years ago.

Are you on hormonal contraceptives? Mine came back after finishing them

@Confrontayshunme I had the same problem ( menopausal ) I went to my doctor who put me on estrogen patches.
All I can say is, my husband was worn out 😜
Ask your doctor about those.

Could it be peri menopause? You might find some different ideas if it could be.

I thought I had a problem with libido until we separated and I got myself a new lover!

It takes 2 to tango, and too often women get blamed for the inadequacies of men.

The sex is great when it happens, which makes it even more frustrating that I could basically forget it exists without being reminded. No problems there. I will ask about estrogen patches!

What bipolar need are you on.
I have bp and no sex drive, it's horrible trying to work out which meds are doing it if it is the meds, I tried the pull which didn't work, tried all kinds of supplements etc.
I'm usually sometimes it comes back with vengeance for a month or 2 then nothing.

Not need... Meds
Not the pull... The pill

Vitamin D + sunbathing did wonders to my sex drive

It sounds like you want your sex life back which is why I am going to say what I say next.... the more sex I have, the more I want. So could you try fake it till you make it and see if that works?

Obviously if you werd happy with a low sex drive I would never suggest anyone has sex they don't particularly want.

For goodness sake do not take oestrogen if you don’t need it!! Hormones are a delicate balance and u can get it very wrong!
I don’t know what exercise you are doing but strength training, so lifting weights increases your testosterone and that can help your libido. You need enough good fat in your diet as hormones need fat. Think nuts, seeds, extra virgin olive oil or oily fish.
Also the more you masturbate or have sex, the more this stimulates your sex drive. So set yourself a task to have sex (with or without someone else) every day or every other day for two weeks. And see how u get on? Sometimes red wine can help too??

Read up about spontaneous vs responsive desire - especially as you do enjoy it once you get going. Basically a lot of women, especially as they get older switch to responsive desire which means you only feel desire once you're experiencing pleasure.

Try googling Joan Price or Emily Nagoski (who's written a whole book - Come As You Are). Totally changed my sex life and stopped conflict with my husband over the issue.

It may be your meds. There is a drug called buspirone that has been very promising in countering the libido suppressing effects of most drugs for mental health conditions

Fake it til you make it.

About 2 months after I stopped taking the pill,my sex drive came back.
Haven’t had one for 9 years before now , I’m like a different person .
The pill caused me no end of grief including no libido, migraines , tension headaches and depressive episodes .

Depending on which medication you have prescribed for your raised blood pressure, some of these can affect female libido. It might be an idea to investigate this in consultation with your GP/primary care doctor as the impacts of changing blood pressure medication can be less than changing medication for bipolar disorder.

Good luck.

My sex drive rocketed after having a Mirena coil fitted. Periods stopped too. Win win.

Set yourself a challenge to do it 4 times a week, and stick to it.

It's saved my marriage and now I can't get enough.

I've had 5 children (three are ours - the other two surrogate babies, I mention them all because the toll it took on my body) and I have a high flying job, we both do.

I needed to sort it out - the more you do something the more you want to do it. I could have easily
Never had sex again but my husband is my best friend and the love of my life. I had to reset.

Start reading erotic literature.

If the sex is great when it happens, then I would stop waiting for you to spontaneously want it and start just doing it.

Years ago when my kids were very little, sex was often the last thing on my mind but I made a decision to just do it. If dh showed any interest, I'd go for it unless I REALLY didn't want to. I kind of scheduled into our routine too. It was the only thing I did with dh that I didn't do with anyone else so I figured it was pretty important in our relationship.I've never regretted it.I wouldn't set a challenge for 4 times a week (kudos MinecraftMother) but even once or twice and take it from there. I am much older now and, honestly, it has never been better - the kiddie/touched-out years don't last forever - and is such a source of fun and enjoyment and connection for me and dh. But I know he wouldn't have complained or nagged or sulked or any of the other things I read on here if I had lost significant interest - that would have turned me RIGHT off.

And I second the suggestion of reading erotic literature.