Inspired by another thread, what advice would you give to your 43 year old self?

[GabrielleChanel]

Bit of background
With DP happily for 15+ years
4 kids one in secondary, three in primary
Home owners but shed loads of the mortgage yet to pay - some savings
DP made redundant after a long spell out of work so financially things aren't great
I'm Self/employed but didn't qualify for any benefits (haven't checked for a bounce back loan yet)

We have had a turbulent couple of years financially, and now
coronavirus on top of this. Certainly the number of people I'm TRULY in touch with, in a crisis situation is fewer than I may have hoped previously which made me a little sad.

I would really like to make some changes in the next few years and wonder how those of you older and wiser may be able to advise.

I was expecting my second child at 43 so I would say sit tight and enjoy the miracle of this!
But then I was and I did!!!
No advice, best time of my life!

I've no experience of your situation, but my advice to me is to change doctors and insist on HRT. Also to get my weight under control, it's so much more difficult in five years time.

Interesting I am trying to get on top of weight (having put it on during stressful period previously)

I am 43 so following with interest! DH and I together 17 years, married 12.5 and DC 10.5 and 7. I've worked part time (80% FTE and then 85%) since DC and don't want to change that but am increasingly senior so lots of extra responsibilities to juggle.

Ok so far in our work in lockdown but it's made a lot of our plans less certain. Also DM is stage 5 dementia, lives in residential care so not huge day to day duties but it's a long term issue and worry clearly.

I guess I wonder whether a sweet spot will ever really come along?

Yes maybe we are hankering after something that won't ever be there

A friend of mine, a year older and with a load of different stuff going on (serious health issues for her DH, complicated family stuff) said to me "this isn't what our forties were supposed to be like" and I know what she means. I always assumed I would know what I was doing by now!

Move. And take up yoga.

Get fit and lose weight now.

Start HRT

Advance via training.

Start a side hustle now, dont put it off!

Dump the loser.

Spend on your appearance.

Make time for family & friends

Just keep.swimming. You will.get through this. My 43 year was shite

Similar age. I would tell myself that sex on a first date can be a good thing.

I Keep waiting for something marvellous to happen

@GabrielleChanel

I Keep waiting for something marvellous to happen

I spent a lot of my 30s doing that. Then I got tired of waiting & damn well made the something marvellous happen by getting divorced & starting a new career at 40.

I would also say start and insist upon HRT.

Appreciate what you have. Your youth.

Get divorced.

@PerfidiousAlbion @BillieEilish what HRT should we be asking for?

Well I was menopausal at 43. Early menopause. Are you?!

I have oestrogel and progesterone tablets. Standard issue, I get them OTC where I live, luckily, as I was offered antidepressants 6 years ago, by my Spanish doctor.

I missed out on 3 years of bone and heart protection and am still angry about this.

I researched and asked on here and menopause matters and self prescribed. Terrible really.

[quote Looby4]**@PerfidiousAlbion* @BillieEilish* what HRT should we be asking for? [/quote]
It entirely depends on your particular situation (do you still have your womb, do you still have periods etc..)

Have a look at the Menopause Matters website, educate yourself and be prepared to fight for your right to hrt. I guarantee they’ll try to put you on anti-depressants instead.

They ABSOLUTELY will!

Also, I am 'only' 49. I cannot tell you how many doctors told me I was too young, at 43 to be menopausal. I am still too young.

Main symptom is anxiety, that's disappeared with HRT, in 5 days or so.

Bloody ridiculous.

Retrain now. This is a perfect time.

I'm surprised there are not more responses to this thread. As a 43 yo I'm looking forward to the MN collection wisdom to guide me over the next decade.

Anyone else with problems with their teeth/gums?

How funny! My teeth and gums started going wrong last year.

@JamMakingWannaBe Yes. Dry mouth, mouth breathing, receding gums, grinding teeth at night. I sound lovely don't I!

Make the most of your parents being around as one day they will be gone.

Yes! Teeth! Sweaty nights. Periods getting closer together.

Those suggesting asking for HRT, is this only if you’re showing menopausal symptoms? Or just generally?

I made a life-changing decision at 43 so I wouldn't have listened anyway. Fortunately it worked out.