what do you do for your teens and what do they do to help?

[beesbeesbee]

I cook their dinner (home cooked, not ready meals) but they sort themselves out with lunch and breakfast and multiple snacks as and when they want it.

If I'm making my lunch then I'll offer to make theirs, especially if they are doing schoolwork but less so if they are on the xbox.
I always cook and nearly always wash up before/after. If they are working on school work then I always do it but at weekends I expect them to wash up after dinner or do some other job while I do such as hanging laundry out/bringing it in or doing a tidy round in the lounge.

Should I be making their breakfast and/or lunch? Should they be doing the clearing up after dinner?

I sometimes feel like I expect too much and other times not enough.

YABU - you should be doing more

YANBU - they should be doing more

Mine are 14 and 20.
I never make their breakfast unless we were doing a big fry up, which is once every few years!
Same as you with lunch, but I tend to have salads and they have sandwiches or noodles so they sort that themselves.
I cook from scratch every night, I'm wfh but I have more free time than I used to do it's a pleasure, but I never clean up after, that's their or dhs job.
That said, I clean as I go so there is never much to do.
During the day they have the odd jobs to do, bit of hoovering, empty dishwasher, clear dog shit from the garden and walk the dogs.
The youngest is obviously off school and the eldest is furloughed so it's good to give them stuff to do!

Sounds about right to me, we work on a similar basis to you.

My ones left at home are 15 and 17

I cook for everyone every night. During lockdown they’ve been drying the dishes after I’ve washed them.
They make their own lunches and breakfasts. They are expected to clear up after themselves. It’s usually a half arsed effort.
They keep their rooms clean and tidy- almost anally so actually- they just do this off their own back as they like it like that. They hoover them too. They strip and make their own beds. Usually weekday but sometimes more often.
Ithey bring their own laundry down and I do the washing and usually hang it out but they’d do it if I asked. I organise it into piles and They put their own away.
They don’t do much else but it’s way more than I was doing as a lazy teen!

Teens are 13,14,16 and 18 (army but home now and again!) own breakfasts and lunch, home cooked evening meal. Take turns weekly emptying dishwasher. Strip and change own beds. Hoover own rooms. Iron if they want their stuff ironed. I do uniforms only! They can earn extra cash by dog walking /babysitting youngest dc. They pop to shops if requested. Older teens cook one night a week each.

I (and dh) routinely cook 6 out of 7 days, Thursday is 'help yourself day', but they will cook dinner from time to time or if we ask. We all get own breakfast, snacks and lunch. I make dd a cuppa in the morning to wake her up for year 10 homeschool (favouritism according to her sister). They help clear the table and wash up a couple of times a week, and ideally in the daytime too. I often ask them to put the shopping away. Cleaning the bathroom they share is left to them to organise. Occasionally asked to put rubbish and recycling out.

Ds 13 and dd 10, very similar to you but ds is asked to cook an evening meal once a week ( as I had training after work so he'd do it so we it was ready to eat when I got home), they both empty the bins ( when it gets full they it) and ds is great at ironing, whereas dd will hover and mop.
My thoughts were give them responsibility now so they get used to it, unlike lots of their friends I don't pay them for jobs either, but they do get pocket money.
Just do what suits you and them.