To think we can live in a one bed flat with a baby?

[PostieGal]

I'm 19 weeks pregnant with our first baby, we live in a spacious one bed flat, OH thinks we need to move to a two bed flat before baby arrives (it would be a struggle financially to do it now). I think we have plenty of space to stay put for about 12 months because baby would be sleeping in our room anyway for the first 9 months or so. His concern is his sleeping pattern (paramedic - all kinds of day/evening/night shifts etc). I say at least I'll be home on mat leave for those 9 months so can look after baby in the living room, or take him/her out while OH is sleeping.

Am I being naive to think this could work? Surely plenty of people live in one bed houses/flats when they have their first baby? We are in Hertfordshire - London commuter belt. He works in north London.

Don't get loads of baby stuff, you don't need it!!

Serious de clutter, use floor to ceiling for storage.

Get a proper/travel system with a decent sized carrycot and use that for day time sleeping as long as possible.

If you are short travel cots are a pain as baby is literally on the floor and I struggled to reach!

main tip: don't have much stuff in the first place.
we had a drawer for each child, that was it.
we used a towel on the bed or sofa for changing.
we bathed together with baby, so didn't have to get a baby bath.
we replaced the washer with a washer dryer. those things that couldn't get in there on drying clothes on a rack over the bathtub.
got rid of dining table for floor space.
got a table top dishwasher.
got rid of ironing board (were not using it really).
got a really small (bosch) hoover

You have no idea how much energy you will have after giving birth. You don’t just need to consider your dp’s needs to rest and sleep, but yours. He can wear ear plugs to counter the noise. But you also need to ensure you have somewhere to sleep in the day too.

If moving is too expensive, I’d get a day bed. Ikea do this day bed. It is a bugger to put together but has plenty of storage and takes mattresses of 200cm length from any size of 80 Cm wide to 160cm wide (standard single is 90 x 190 btw).

You can get a range of mattress sizes in 200cm length. Look at this pic from amazon for example. If you have the room, I’d go for something a bit wider than a normal single. Maybe 120 if you have the room then you can comfortably and safely sleep together on it if you end up co sleeping and it will make a sofa with footstool in one.

It will be far more difficult to move once you have a baby. But plenty of people do it of course.

I think it would be ok for the first year. You'd need to look for somewhere bigger after that.

I grew up in a tiny 1 bed flat until the age of 10, so did lots of my friends (lived in a country where high rise living is the norm and space is at a premium especially in big cities).
It was me, mum and dad, he worked shifts too. It was fine. My cousin lived with her parents, gran and little sister in a one bed flat too, albeit bigger than ours.
You adjust. Living room would double up as a temporary bedroom, for storage you can use those big shelving units that house the TV and have lots of drawers and cupboards.
Of course it's not ideal and more space would be nice but you don't NEED two bedrooms for two adults and a baby.

My baby has terrible sleep regression from 3 months that literally improved over night once he went into his room. We were disturbing his sleep.

A second room to give you all space is preferable.

Due to our circumstances we moved house when I was 8 months pregnant and when my son was 10 months. It was much easier doing a house move pregnant. Imagine packing up a house with a crawling baby and managing the logistics of getting the cot up and down between moves. It was tough.

I wouldn't live in any type of flat with children never mind a one bed, for me it would be a nightmare. I would of sorted this issue out before getting pregnant though.

Well done usernamenotavailable2. I was wondering who was going to be first, to make the most pointless comment.

For the sake of your relationship, go 2 bed. He will resent you later on otherwise.
Money isn't an issue at this moment or else you wouldn't be having a baby. Covid is not an excuse either. I mean it kindly

Not living in a 1 bed flat, but DH is on permanent night shift since DC1 was born.
... DC 2 was a lovely baby & toddler in many ways, but also known as "screamer"!!
So, I have been known to feed the ducks at 8am in the morning with 2 DC and 2 DDogs... in winter we watched the odd sunrise over the local reservoir...
I had several am baby groups that I attended...
Always tried to meet up with friends for breakfast or morning coffee.

I know it sounds horrendous, but I am an early morning person anyway. And DH - bless him- never ever complained about any noise in the house while sleeping.

As the baby gets bigger, she/he is going to need more space to play in and will be dropping toys all over the place. It might be more difficult to move later, as you might find after lockdown, quite a few people will want bigger places. My lad knives in a two bed with a friend and he was saying that a lot of his fringes want to move to bigger places or places with balconies, because they feel a bit stare crazy.

Hahaha @usernamenotavailable2 that's hilarious! Please feel free to enlighten me on how I should "of" sorted that out before getting pregnant. The only non-flats in our price range that are within reasonable driving distance of our jobs are house boats - I'm sure no one would suggest moving from a flat to a house boat! How well off do you think a Postwoman/Paramedic couple are??! Thank you @LillianBland for you immediate response to their pointless (and entitled) comment.

Thank you everyone who's given sound advice as to how we can make this work. We have many of your suggestions in place already and are confident that we have plenty of space to make this work. We have recalculated our finances and, bearing in mind the legal fees etc associated with selling and buying, we agree as a couple that rather than making a small move now, then a bigger move in a few years, we're best staying where we are for a year or two, then looking at a bigger move once we have more equity in this property, and before little one starts school.

I think we would have coped untill our daughter was six months. She shared our room in a crib (and often in our bed) till then and she didn't sleep well so to get enough sleep for work my husband slept in our guest room - but we could have made the sofa comfortable enough for him. At six months we needed her to at least start the night in her own room as a cot wouldn't fit in our room and it improved her sleep being away from us and my husband could sleep in our room again. It might be less stressful to move during your pregnancy than with a small baby but it might be less stressful waiting till things get more back to normal next year.

It is doable. Admittedly I lived on my own in a one bed flat with my son when he was tiny, but it was okay. My flat wasn’t overly big but it done us okay for a couple years!

We lived in a pretty small one bed maisonette until son was one year old. It was fine.

When my DD1 was a baby we only had one bedroom. It was totally doable (though DH is not a shift worker). The cot just about fitted into the bedroom, changing mat in bathroom, toys/playmat in lounge - they don't need much for the first year tbh! We now have two bedrooms but DD2 is still in with us at 8 months and will be for a while (don't want her going in with her sister until she's sleeping through the night!)

I’m sure it’ll be doable.

We are currently in a tiny 2 bed Victorian with a 12 year old and a baby. And I mean tiny!!! Teeny living room, no room in our bedroom for a wardrobe. We manage fine.

I would see how you go for a while, he may learn to sleep through the noises.

We lived in a one bed flat with youngest. It was absolutely fine. We kept her things in the living space which we were lucky with as it was spacious. Having had 4 children I don’t actually think babies need that much. Somewhere to keep clothes toys and nappies, Moses basket then cot, bouncy chair then high chair and changing mat can be kept under sofa etc.
Buggy we kept in car boot ( if you have one) but used sling a lot as we live in a city.
Have also lived in 3 bed flat with 4 much older children which was also ok. Be ruthless with clutter, we spent lots of time outdoors , in parks etc which made home space matter less.
You’ll be fine.

Durr .. Eldest not youngest

Oh op please try to resolve your living situation if you can. I’ve got a small DS and am married to an intensive care Dr, the shifts are a real problem. You really don’t appreciate how draining trying to stop a tiny baby screaming is until you’re doing it all day every day, honestly sometimes they just scream for no reason and when you know your DH is trying to grab 6 hours before heading back to another 13 hour shift the pressure is intense.

The night shifts will be the real kicker, days won’t be ideal but trust me nights are worse. Especially if you are sleep deprived you’ll really resent spending all day unable to put a fussy baby down even to pee less they start screaming. You need a separate bedroom for you/baby and a bit of space to get away.

Honestly, we have a large house and when DS really gets going DH ends up sleeping in the annex! It’s that loud

We lived in a one bed flat with DD1 until she was 15 months (and I was 6 months pregnant with DD2) it was absolutely fine if I can remember. DH didn’t work shifts but left very early in the morning and went to bed early. DD1 coslept and went into her own room and bed at 15 months fine, DD2 slept in with us for a year (by this time we had bought a 3 bed well 2 bed and tiny box room house) by the time DD3 came along once she stopped cosleeping she went into the teeny box room and the two eldest shared a not very big room. Then we had DS and had a problem!!! By the time our extension was finished he was 2 1/2 so had slept in with us all that time didn’t do him any harm and he remembers decorating his big boy room. All four now have rooms of their own. So it kind of all worked out.

Of course you'll be fine, fgs!

We did, until dd was nearly 4. We moved in time for the primary schools applications (January prior to starting reception) so that she didn't have to move schools.

I would say fine as long as you have somewhere comfortable to sleep in the living room (maybe swap a settee for a sofa bed??) so either you or DH can sleep out there when needed with shifts. Put the baby in a Moses basket to start with so you can move between bedroom and living room easily.

DH moved to our guest room for almost the full first year and dd slept in the main room with me. He still got up and helped with feedings and diaper changes, but he and I sharing a bed just didn’t work for any of us. He could have been on the couch if we didn’t have another option, but his back would not have handled it. Maybe we would have gotten a mattress we could put down on the living room floor?