i'm desperate, please help me work out if we need to seek medical help.
6 year behaves well at school, school clubs and at childcare. quiet and in the wings rather than a ringleader. few friends but able to work with others socially and teachers say they not concerned from what they observe.
its not a lock down issue - been a huge issue since 3 years old
has a minimum of 5 outbursts each day, lasting 40 + minutes each time
at any time of the day, even if had 10-12 hours sleep:
defiance, uncooperative , refusal,
screaming, shouting, arguing so loud it can be heard in the front of the house down the drive with windows closed:
about wrong bowl,
sandwiches cut wrong way,
can't find toothbrush,
socks hurt her, second pair wrong
someone has folded clothes away in their room,
the wrong cereal is on the table,
glass given to them filled with juice is not the right glass,
broken biscuit given to them,
they wanted spaghetti pasta, not penne
my cheese (cheddar) stinks and im not allowed to eat near them
we are not allowed to eat onion as this gets them angry
wont let the big sibling play with what they want or play in their own room
screaming/red rage, slamming doors, threatening to break things rages about very minor things lasts for 40- 60 minutes, as above, several times a day
hate you stinky rat
i hate my daddy/or mummy
i want to be angry
slamming door so hard the mirror on wall outside about 1.5 m away shakes and wobbles.
its like a switch has been flipped and we are powerless.
scary that they might hurt themselves and more tangible issue of property damage.
we have tried timeout and it caused to too much screaming distress to the child and we are frightened that she will break the door or kick it in
we consistently try to calm and use calm words or phrases but day in day out, we do bend and say things like "you're not kind/ this is not what nice children do/you are being horrible"
other times when we are too drained we say " it hurts your brains ability to work well if you are are angry" or "you don't have to be angry", "you can do other things when you are angry"
they understand what they are doing. they don't want to stop, or try other things to calm them eg colouring or lego or talk about why they are angry (when they are in a calm moment)
the default is anger. we pussy foot around and can't relax but always say the above things. we have lost hours most days trying to calm them
they want to slap, scratch to leave scrape marks is more common in last 4 months.
i struggle to take them out as doesn't want to walk or wrong jacket and wont wear another, won't get dressed, things will be wrong wherever we are etc. screaming and rage in public places etc. can be heard screaming about something the next street over. i only want to take them out when i have husband.
we are at wit's end. older child is seriously affected as sees all of this
have been to relate but they were shockingly inept going into psychology theory eg brain anatory and this part does this etc rather than actual practical help for us as desperate parents. obviously all the theory is useful but we were desperate for immediate help and after 5 sessions, felt it was literally going no-where and paying £250 plus time out of work which was unpaid
please can anyone help?
do you think my child could have anxiety?
im on AD for last 2 years, i am prone to mild depression but now have very severe anxiety as i feel i can't cope with work, life etc as i can never find any peace and have gained 2 stone
i know this is about the child but we are so drained and every day is unhappy.
i feel so sad that my beautiful 6 year old is so unhappy each hour of each day and that they feel defensive and anger for so much of each day. it must be horrible and exhausting.
where can i go for help while waiting for normal services to resume?