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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If your EYFS/KS1child is alone at school

30 replies

NearlyGranny · 23/05/2020 13:09

If your child is going back to school on June 1st and it turns out their 'bubble' of up to 15 children actually contains just just them, or them and just one other, would you be happy to leave them and keep sending them?

How social would it need to be for you to feel they were getting the school experience you want for them?

YABU = I would be fine for my child to be the only CHILD or one of two in their group - I would send my child.

YANBU = One or two children is too lonely and unlike normal school - I would not send my child.

Thank you.

OP posts:

SandieCheeks · 23/05/2020 13:10

Just them - no.
Them and their best friend - yes
Them and a child they hate - no
Them and 4 or 5 other children - yes

GreyishDays · 23/05/2020 13:12

Or could you try it and see?

justanotherneighinparadise · 23/05/2020 13:13

Depends. If it’s just them at home I wouldn’t mind. If they have social bonds at home with siblings then I’d keep them home.

Frariedeamin · 23/05/2020 13:14

I am sending mine in purely for socialisation so this would be an issue for me.

BendingSpoons · 23/05/2020 13:20

D is 4. She would love 1:1 time with a teacher/TA and gets on with all her classmates, so either scenario would be fine. However the school have asked parents their intentions before making up bubbles so doubt it would happen. If it did they could probably merge bubbles anyway, if they still only had a few children in total.

Bumpitybumper · 23/05/2020 13:20

I imagine people's answers to this will depend on the nature of the child and what the alternative arrangement is at home.

For my child, the socialising aspect is one of the main reasons I would send her to school so I would be really disappointed if the bubble had so few children in it. I could easily keep her at home and she would be reasonably happy playing with her sibling.

Despite all of this, I would probably still want her to go to school as I think she would enjoy having that time in a school environment with teaching staff and she is pretty resilient and adaptable so it wouldn't traumatise her that her school experience would be so different to what she was used to. I would also factor in the looming summer holidays where she would have lots more opportunity to play with her sibling and have fun at home, but going to school for a while would just break up the time spent at home doing pretty repetitive things and hopefully prevent boredom setting in.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 23/05/2020 13:22

Agree with @SandieCheeks. Socialisation is our main incentive for sending them. They have each other at home (20m age gap) so would need to be seeing a good friend or a few kids to make it worthwhile.

CurlyEndive · 23/05/2020 13:24

I think that people will be hesitant at first, and will then start coming back if it seems to be going ok. So I'd send your child in and assume the numbers will increase after a week or two. In the meantime they benefit from lots of individual attention.

MissClarke86 · 23/05/2020 13:24

They wouldn’t open a class for 1 child - it wouldn’t be worth the staffing and overheads (lunch, having to pay extra staff because you need a DSL in etc). They’d combine year groups.

MRex · 23/05/2020 14:36

Nursery age here.
The only child - no, pointless if he had no friends.
Mixed age group to make up numbers - fine.
Group of 4-5 - perfect, that would be the ideal.
15 - I'd like to see infection numbers down first as at nursery age that's a lot of adults and children who'll have close interaction, in fact that's normal class size for his place and I hope low infection rates means "normal" in that context will be ok by September.

MRex · 23/05/2020 14:37

Forgot to say - if there's one other, I'd say definitely yes, I'd feel bad for the other kid needing a friend!

porktangle · 23/05/2020 14:43

I think that even with 1 or no other children to start with, people will start sending others back on week 2 or 3....either because they've relaxed a bit or FOFO!

WokeUpSmeltTheCoffee · 23/05/2020 14:43

The school is no way going to have enough resources to have a bubble of 1 child so this cannot be a real scenario. They would combine with other other bubbles even if they were the year above or below surely

porktangle · 23/05/2020 14:43

FOMO even....

myself2020 · 23/05/2020 14:57

I would send mind in even if he was the only one (not happening, around 80% of kids will be back). he would love 1-1 with a teacher.

Original poster

NearlyGranny · 23/05/2020 16:40

Oh, this is a totally real scenario, Coffee - not for me but for a family member. And there will be two adults with every group - usually a teacher/TA pairing, but it could just as well be two TAs working with a teacher's planning. That's because the child/ren can't be left unsupervised and even teachers used to restricting their liquid intake will need to visit the toilet at some point.

They will definitely be running bubbles of one or two, not collapsing groups, because the numbers may go up later and the bubbles can't be broken once set. And yes, it definitely is resourced because that's what schools planned for before they knew the numbers that would attend. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Thanks everyone for your responses so far.

OP posts:

Original poster

NearlyGranny · 23/05/2020 16:46

It's a difficult situation entirely. Teachers will be cleaning their rooms when the children go home, and supervising the lunches, too, to ensure nobody else has contact with the bubble. Best case scenario, I think, is that the bubbles start tiny and quickly grow as parents start to feel more confident about everyone's safety. Alternatively, the start date gets delayed another fortnight to allow the test, track, trace system to be properly established first, adding to patents' confidence.

OP posts:

Noodledoodledoo · 23/05/2020 17:02

A lot of my reception mums are saying later in the term they may send them in. I am sending mine in - not much choice as I need to go back to work as well - we are likely to have more students in as more key workers are needed back to work - ie mine have been off as I have been off, I am now going to be needed in school.

At the moment I know 2 of her friends have requested the same days as us.

SleeplessWB · 23/05/2020 17:19

Really interesting that some schools have such low demand while others everyone wants to go. At my daughter's school they don't have enough room for everyone who wants to attend but other schools have a bubble of 1/2. I wonder why that is?

Hibbetyhob · 23/05/2020 17:28

Well it totally depends why they’re going in.

I’m a teacher and will have my own bubble after half term so my dc will have to go to school - no matter if it’s ideal for them or not, I don’t have anywhere else to send them.

I also think more children will start coming back after a week or 2.

julybaby32 · 23/05/2020 17:38

Sleepless, I wonder if it might depend a bit on what the major employment in an area is. Lots of food processing and production which can't be done at home and high employment might have a different response than an area normally dependent on tourism, for example, especially if people in that area are especially fearful of a local spike caused by the easing of restrictions. They might well decide to wait a week or two before sending their child back to school in that case.

lyralalala · 23/05/2020 17:43

I absolutely would. 1-1 teaching or even 1-2 teaching is far beyond what even private schools provide

However, we live in a big and busy household so the socialising aspect isn't so important as it will be for lots of kids.

Girlmama · 23/05/2020 20:51

Parent and teacher here. In terms of people saying they are sending their child in for socualisation- the 'new normal' is not set up for this. In my school we are set up for bubbles of 8 or 9 children (as much as we can do while maintaining social distancing). Each child is assigned a desk and on their desk they have a ziplock bag of resources that are just for them. They stay in their seat 2m from their peers all day apart from break time and toilets/handwashing and even those things are being done at a social distance. In the interests of their safety, staff safety and the safety of everyone's families too this is vital. Returning to school won't be about running in for hugs with eachother and sitting side by side to chat and play. That kills me as a Mam and as a teacher but it's the facts.

Noodledoodledoo · 26/05/2020 16:25

I think the disparity in numbers depends on family set up, in my sons nursery class there are a lot of SAHM, in my daughters reception class there aren't as many but it is still high.

Also lots have managed to get the balance of working from home working alongside childcare so may well be happy to wait it out till the summer, others have older children not going back so don't see the point of younger one going when older isn't as they still need to be at home.

Guess it depends on the working situation for parents a lot, I live in a commuter town to London so I expect no desperate need for staff to be at their desks if working successfully from home.

EssexGurl · 26/05/2020 16:37

Our school has said that they will put the key worker / vulnerable children in with R, Y1 or Y6 children - so there is no way a child would be in a class on their own. Also many families are waiting to see what will happen before sending their children. Our school is expecting numbers to ramp up in the coming weeks. So, yes, I would send my child. I had already decided to - before asking other parents. Also, lots of parents at my child’s school are full of BS and I wouldn’t trust them to do what they say. I think when it actually comes to it, most kids will be back in on the 1st.

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