I know I sound really bloody ungrateful but I’m really anxious and scared.
I am 35, 36 soon. I live with my DP of 10 years. It’s not a perfect relationship but we are committed.
In my life I have been pregnant 5 times. I had 3 abortions- 1 in my teens as I was reckless, one in my 20’s- I was on the pill and one when dd was few months old- I don’t know how I caught, I wasn’t having periods.
Anyway at 33, on the 5th cycle I became pregnant with DD and I was over the moon. I appreciate it wasn’t a long time, but it felt like it took forever too conceive with her. She was a very wanted baby. I always knew I wanted her to have a sibling and I didn’t want a huge age gap.
My DP and I started to talk about a second a few months ago. We agreed to start trying as I thought it could take few months, if not longer. I came off the pill in March, I had a period in April. We didn’t time sex. This last 10 days I have felt horrendous; tired, headaches, nausea, cramping, bloated and constipated. I took a pregnancy test this morning and it’s positive. However period not due for another 3 days.
I am absolutely shitting myself. I do not feel prepared. I have known I was pregnant for a week now and still can’t tell DP. I am worrying about everything.
• I still have 1 stone baby weight to lose from last pregnancy. Can I try to lose weight now
• I have been in my new job for 10 months now, I am assistant manager. (I do have continuous service in LA). I am scared I will now have a reputation for taking the piss.
• house suddenly feels too small- 3 bed semi with box room.
• none of my friends have children (stupid worry I know). I feel like I have now sacrificed something
• With DD I had no symptoms but spotting. I feel worse in these last few days then I did through the entire pregnancy. Is this how the rest of the pregnancy will be?
I feel really anxious like I did with the other pregnancies I ended, however I will continue with this as I ‘asked’ for it and I’m 37 next year so time is not on my side.
Have I been completely stupid?