To think most property owners don’t understand how hard it now is to buy a house

[Boredfromboredshire]

DP and me earn 40k between us and our rent is 1200 a month for a 3 bed house. We don’t have rich relatives, we are in our early 40’s and circumstances (ill health) meant that we didn’t buy a house before. We can’t save a deposit & houses are expensive by us. We have stable jobs & our kids are happy so moving in the current uncertain time’s isn’t an option. Life has happened to us & some of it has been out it control.

Cue well meaning friend (who bought their house for peanuts) asking me why we couldn’t afford a house when we could get a house in a cheaper area for ‘only’ 400k. I’m so fed up of it. We really want a home of our own & we would move but in the current recession, it’s not a good idea to give up a job. And we can’t afford to save. My friend (whose deposit was 12k can’t understand it and looks on pityingly while telling me the house they bought for 120k is now worth 700k.

For many of us, the housing market is closed for ever. I’m so tired of the pity and the complete cluelessness- I quite often feel utter despair about it. It makes me feel such a failure for no real fault of our own. Some people were lucky because they happened to buy at a particular month in time & then some of us couldn’t & it’s over.

I don’t think people who own really understand what it’s like. Low interest rates, cheap mortgages, everything weighted in favour of owners while renters are treated like the Victorian poor.

Aibu to be sick of it. We are a normal family in normal jobs.

@SarahAndQuack wind your neck in. As the OP stated she had a three bedroom house, I'm hazarding a guess that it's bigger than my little two bed. What do you think?

There is nothing wrong with renting as such, assuming you are happy where you are just tell the people to mind their own business.. Not having a mortgage is quite liberating. If you do want to buy then you should address the situation with your income. Even if the property prices fall it won't help you.
BTW, not everyone bought their house for peanuts. We bought ours last year and the prices were/are ridiculous.
The reason why we could afford it is very long hours studying followed by very long hours working in very stressful jobs for a number of years.

Houses always were expenses. My husband and I had to work in the Gulf States to earn enough to buy a bog standard three bed semi. That took us away from family and friends and you just worked , not much down time. So it’s never been easy.

Ken no. But we have what is called a national minimum wage. And there are universities littered across the country for OP and her DH to choose from

So here are some thoughts, but they might not go down well.

I agree now isn’t a good time to be buying, but given you can’t anyway, that’s okay for the moment. But what about longer term - I notice a couple of people have made good suggestions which have been dismissed with ‘but you shouldn’t have to break your back’ (ref to taking a 2nd evening job) or your shouldnt have to move’ (ref to living in a cheaper area) - the question is whether you are prepared to consider things which might not be nice but could make it possible. If you will consider them, home ownership might be possible but if you really don’t want to make any changes, it probably won’t be.

These are things that might allow you to buy in a couple of years - not now, but it’s not a good time right now anyway. Which actually could be possible even if they involve significant changes - and don’t just discount them, but be serious about really considering if they could work, because they have helped lots of people. None are an instant fix.

• move to a cheaper area and get different jobs - if your household income is £40k with 2 working, neither of you are high earners and could live somewhere loads cheaper than Oxford and get jobs paying similar. Your rent will be cheaper allowing you to save, plus house prices will be lower and as long as it’s a cheap area you will be able to buy after a period of time. Yes, major changes to your life - but most likely to make it happen.
• stay where you are and move into smaller, squashed cheaper rental, plus take on 10-15 extra hours of work and save very hard. Very very strict budget and no treats. It will take longer but you will be able to build a deposit over time.

Neither looks palatable. Whilst some are lucky and bought years ago or were gifted money, lots of others did one of the 2 things mentioned above. They had hard years because the raising the deposit took years. They had hard times and their children did too (although don’t remember it) but they achieved their goal.

So it’s not impossible even for you in 40s on £40k joint income. The best option would be moving to a very cheap area. The question is if you can face the upheaval - doesn’t have to be right now with vivid, but you can start planning for 6 months time. Don’t put barriers up to the things that could make the difference.

I understand exactly what it's like for people trying to buy somewhere to live. My dd and her bf have absolutely no chance of getting on the property ladder whatsoever. A one bedroom flat is £200k round here.

It’s absolute shit OP. Our house is a tiny terraced bought by my husband 20 years ago when it was affordable. Now, it’s worth so much that we couldn’t afford to buy it or anything in our area. I’m not bragging. It’s unfair that housing is so unaffordable for so many.

YABU in singling our home owners - blame the market, Government or system that created this. I am over 50 and became a home owner three years ago, before then my family and I paid extortionate rent in property that was in I’ll repair. Don’t be divisive and assume all owners are ignorant of the situation

I think some don't understand it and some are trying to be helpful. Like a PP, I don't know anyone who was gifted a deposit. Everyone I know I had to sacrifice to get on the property ladder whether that be working extra hours and shifts, moving to an area that wasn't their first choice, not having holidays or cars for years, etc. So I find most people do understand how hard it is. But they can't present you with a solution if you're unwilling to consider other areas. You're prioritising what you see as your DCs' happiness and that's fine. But it's also a big factor in why you can't buy a house.

Your salaries are not high enough to live in such an expensive area. You could move but then,as you say, not ideal from a jobs perspective. It seems you have made the choice to stay in a certain area that you cannot,at the moment,afford to buy. In order to save you need cheaper rent. If there is a recession and your jobs remain secure then it might resolve matters for you. Is there any chance of an inheritence down the line? even a small amount might help.

YANBU. I bought a house last year in a less than desirable area and the LTV ratios were not fantastic. I'm now stuck in a shithole, but c'est la vie.

I think unless people are going through, or have recently gone through, the process they have no idea. You can have £40,000 as a 10% deposit for a house but if your bank will only lend you 4x your £20k salary then there's not much you can do. A lot of people just live in ignorance.

We were on the verge of buying a house to rent out somewhere more affordable and remain renting in London before we found our house. Would you consider doing that? Then at least you'd have somewhere nice to live when you retire and property for your DC to inherit.

Do you work office hours and could have an additional job in the evenings weekdays in a bar , supermarket, bank staff care assistant.

I don't know how common it is but my employer won't let people do second jobs without permission.

Having said that I live in the NE and a household income of £40K would be more than enough to afford a house and rent for a 3 bed semi in a good area would be less than half what the OP pays. For what she is currently paying she could rent a detached 5 bed period property. So, she has a choice. Stay where she is and never be able to buy, or move to a cheaper area. Of course, I don't know if her household income is one good salary or two low salaries and how much their income would drop if they moved north.

@flirtygirl I did say that we had a long period of illness which is what prevented us buying earlier as DP couldn’t work. We had kids because if we hadn’t (due to his health) we never would have been able to. Life isn’t always black and white but we have paid for it with a lifetime of renting.

"I would really like to know if those suggesting these things have actually undertaken this themselves while having children for any length of time when they were in a similar position."

I have. And I continue to do so despite being fortunate enough to own my home. Most people I know do the same

@Boredfromboredshire DH and I bought a 2 bed flat in London last year for £400k.. this isn't a goady post because a 3 bed house like the one you live in is £800k. So we are in this flat for the foreseeable future. We can't move due to family/want to be near synagogue and in a multicultural area. Its a big reason why we want an only child because then we wouldn't have the stress of needing to upgrade or finding a cheaper area.

Could you afford a 3 bed flat? Understand it's worse than what you have now but often you compromise when you buy.

Op I don't think I can even read through this thread since I last commentedxwhu do people get on their high horse oh we had your salary and still managed to save etc good for you. Yes some people had children first because they could have been naiive and it wasn't drilled into them that you should buy a house first!!

We were paying astronomical rent. We scrapped and scrapped to save a deposit to get out of it and bought our own. We werent just given a house or helped out by parents or got a house by luck. Yes it's hard, and yes it sucks... but many home owners faced the same challenges you do and worked their arses off to buy so "home owners just dont get it" isnt really fair. I am a home owner. I do get it... we lived on bare bones for 10 years to save a deposit to buy.

Yes, area is too expensive.

Moving to cheaper area is best option. Don’t discount it - as your jobs aren’t especially well paid you should be able get similar wages in cheaper area, rent for less, save hard and buy much cheaper house.

If you say you shouldn’t have to move or come up with lots of reasons why you can’t, that’s fine, but the more ‘cant’s’ the more unlikely it is to happen. You need to find ways to say ‘i can and will’ if you actually really want it.

Well, on the plus side, at least you will get your carehome paid for

Bored

It isn't a lifetime of renting. If that is affecting you and you want to change it you can. You have lowish paid jobs but in a sector where your skills are transferable.

Or you can continue to rent. That's fine too.

The people say "ah if younger people didn't have iphones/starbuck/avocados, the of course could buy!" are so out of touch deluded - often from the "bommer" generation too, where a home was afforded on one person's salary and a house for 2/3 times a normal salary!

An Iphone is 1,000 and an avocado is £1 each. Assuming you eat 3 avocadoes a week and have a Starbucks everyday you would be spending approx 1,700-1,803 gbp a year. Over 10 years that’s 10k! Add to that the thousands you would save if you just made your own lunch and bang you have your deposit.

A lot of people don’t understand the basic maths of that, and then assume that twenty-somethings who do figure it out ‘must have had help’.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Oh god, it has turned into a ‘if you didn’t eat as many avocados and buy an iPhone then you could save a deposit’

This was EXACTLY what I was talking about 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

YES! We’re in the exact same position, except we do have a deposit.. 20k. Left very generously to DH when his nan passed away. We still can’t buy a house! Because the banks won’t lend us enough... we’re in the south east. But we can afford 1k rent a month For the past 5 years when the Mortgage payment would be the same/less. It’s a bonkers system & nothing annoys me more than home owners telling you how you CAN do it. It’s just NOT that simple!

What makes you think most property owners don't understand

This. I'm a home owner and I get it. I'm really sorry its so hard for you OP and the other people who wish to buy. But please dont generalise about all homeowners, thats not really fair is it? I dont generalise that "renters just dont get xyz"

Youre right, it totally sucks and I wish there was something I could do about it, but I cant.