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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask - are you sending your toddlers back to nursery next month?

44 replies

Ethelfleda · 22/05/2020 10:20

DS nursery has emailed to say they’re opening again on 1st June.
We have the first 10 days off as we were supposed to be going away so definitely won’t be sending him back early June. I’ve told the nursery to invoice us as usual so he has a place as we may send him back mid to end June but I really don’t know what to do for the best. We are both WFH and just about coping with that and parenting - our respective workloads aren’t huge but that could well change in the next few weeks.

Would you keep him away until breaking point?? Or until your employer started to question it? Or until it appears to have a detrimental effect on DS (who is 2.5) so far he has been absolutely fine at home...

Just after opinions and what others are doing?
The more the schools push against it, the more I’m thinking “well, if the schools aren’t happy having the little ones back then why are the nurseries”
But is that a flawed argument??

OP posts:

hammeringinmyhead · 22/05/2020 14:02

It feels a little bit like we have to choose between childcare and family.

Yes, absolutely this. When the restrictions lift I could technically use grandparents, and I am sure they will offer, but last time they looked after him he was a 1 year old who was only just crawling. Now he is a force of nature 19 month old and it would be 3 days a week - I think they'd have a shock!

TeddyIsaHe · 22/05/2020 14:07

My nursery haven’t confirmed yet, but Dd will be going back when they do! I have got to get back to work ASAP.

EssentialHummus · 22/05/2020 14:11

I would in a heartbeat. In fact her nursery is only taking certain categories of children from June and DD isn’t in any.

But I’ve had it. She‘s 2. She is a hugely sociable child and literally goes up to every child in the park now and says “Hello my friend”, and gets noticeably sad/quieter when there aren’t other children around, or when people walk away. She asks me every day about her friends, nursery, when we’re going to swimming. I need some social outlet for her.

Theseptemberissues · 22/05/2020 14:18

Yes, from 8th June. My eldest is due to start school in sept so I want him to have a routine back ready for then. My youngest is 18 months and has become very very clingy - i think if he were off until September it would be a nightmare to resettle him. I have been working from home (ha!) with them both and got very little done. My work have been very supportive Of those with children at home but I feel I can’t underperform’ so to speak for any longer

tealandteal · 22/05/2020 15:33

No, DH and I can both WFH and take shifts on childcare. Our nursery have said no charge for June if you choose not to send your child so we will be sending DS (2) in July.

RhubarbAndMustard · 22/05/2020 16:04

No we won't be. DS4 says he doesn't want to go, we don't need childcare yet and actually I think putting him back in, only for him to then come out and start school is going to be nore disruptive.

Plus, I'm probably more anxious than most. I know we will have to live with Covid, but a few extra months will give us a few more months worth of information on it. We still know so little.

Original poster

Ethelfleda · 22/05/2020 16:35

Interesting mix of views here. I just keep thinking I will wait for a couple of weeks and see??

OP posts:

happymummy12345 · 22/05/2020 16:38

No. Our nursery emailed parents to ask if we would or would not send them back should they open 1st June. I'm guessing the majority said no as they have decided not to, and are now looking at an end of June or beginning of July reopen date

Wiaa · 22/05/2020 16:56

I've just had the same call, we've said yes as we feel like our ds4 needs interaction with his peers again. I have told them if it helps them I'm happy to just do a few days. I don't think they will be practising any social distancing but we think the health risks are fairly low and we think we may have had it already. Dh is booked in for an antibody test next week (part of an NHS trial) so we'll know if we have soon. The 2 staff who work in my sons room have also been working throughout and I know they are missing the kids and worried about the finances of the nursery. It's quite a big decision all round, you need to weigh up the risks to the dc and the staff vs the benefits we've also discussed that there will probably be a longer gap before we feel we can see the grandparents (once allowed) if we're adding loads of families to our contact group. The risk to our parents is quite high due to underlying health issues.

Funnyface1 · 22/05/2020 16:58

No I'm not.

bez91 · 22/05/2020 17:37

Speak to the nursery, any decent nursery would have already communicated their plans to all parents.

My daughter is 2 and goes to a nursery which is in a chain of about 25 in the Midlands. She never left nursery as we're both key-workers but they have gone and beyond keeping parents informed and so much thought into how it will impact the children.

Shelley54 · 22/05/2020 17:46

Yes my just 2yr old and my 4yr old are both back w/c 1st June. The SAGE predictions are an R rate of 0.2 with all early years kids back in as usual. I live in a town with only a handful of deaths and a low level of cases.

Needallthesleep · 22/05/2020 17:46

Yes my 2 year old will be.

My thoughts are the as above. Covid isn’t going away any time soon. There won’t be a vaccine or a cure by September, and my employer isn’t going to put up with my lack of productivity forever. My DD is much better off with her friends and learning at nursery. I’m pregnant and exhausted and am counting down the days.

Wired4sound · 22/05/2020 17:48

Yes. No one shielding here or within the family. DS is an only and it breaks my heart that he hasn’t seen another child for 8 weeks.

Sunshinesweet123 · 22/05/2020 18:06

@UterusesBeforeDuderuses I’m in the exact situation as you regarding ages etc but I wasn’t sure whether to send my daughter back to nursery because of the risk to my newborn son. My midwive said to shield him for as long as possible. We’re going a little stir crazy at home and we need the extra support but as there’s no clear advisement on what to do with a newborn and CoVid I’m unsure what to do. We’re you advised to shield at all? X

UterusesBeforeDuderuses · 24/05/2020 15:01

@Sunshinesweet123 we haven't been advised to shield because of DD who is 13 weeks, but my DH and I actually have had covid a few weeks ago (well, we weren't tested, but 95% sure due to our symptoms and temperatures). We suffered but recovered, both children got a slight cough for a day or 2 but that's it. I've heard that children aren't as affected as adults, so for that reason I'm not concerned about the mixing at nurseries

Biomedical · 25/05/2020 11:13

I’m keeping my son off until I start back at uni late September but if I had to work outside of the home then I would have to send him back. His nursery have some good measures in place but for peace of mind we’re staying in abit longer

MarshaBradyo · 25/05/2020 11:17

I’m not until September however it was more to do with that dd hadn’t settled yet pre all this.

She had only been for a couple of mornings for about four weeks and was actually getting more upset at the thought (although ok when there after a bit). Age 2.5

So nursery have said it’s ok to delay. Which means fees for the seven weeks were dropped.

I’m relieved as the drop off was getting to stressful and it was only for a break for me.

riotlady · 25/05/2020 11:25

We have said we would like to but nursery haven’t got back to us yet with the specific plan. None of us are in the vulnerable category and DD has been desperate for some social interaction so I think it’s for the best.

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