To not want dp to bugger off every sunday for 12 hours to do his bloody hobby

[pyjamagirl]

Ok so he used to be a DJ and he gort offered a show on a new station

he works during the week but he wants to travel by train every sunday and spend 12 hours at the station while I stay at home and look after our 5 dc .

Everyone else keeps saying it's a fantastic oppurtunity but they dont have 5 dc to look after alone every sunday .

I hate how he gets to be selfish and I get stuck at home with dc and nobodys patting me on the back

I know I sound a selfish bitch but wheres my bloody time .

I know he'll end up going I just want someone to tell me i'm not been a selfish cow and that he is been unreasonable expecting to do this (with no pay except expenses) every sunday

he is being totally unreasonable, the fact that you have 5 dc's makes his behaviour even worse. But i look at it like this, what is the point of being with someone if, after working all week, they bugger off and do their own thing. This is, for me, irrelevant of children and i would not tolerate it. It is selfish in the extreme - maybe once a month would be fine but to me it sounds like an excuse to get out of hard work, because lets face it, 5 kiddies must be bloody tough. I struggle enough with one (i have two but dd1 is 17 and does her own thing most of the time) and want my DP HOME at the weekends, it isnt always about having help, its about having grown up company and family time. I dont think you are a huge exception either pj as i often wonder when i see all those men going off on sundays etc to play golf - i just find it really bloody strange. But hey, thats just me. You most certainly are not being selfish.

shit - LEM kicks herself up the arse again for not reading all the threads before posting. I am really sorry to hear he is being like this, its easy for me to say, but if he thinks that way (does he, really?) then perhaps you are better moving on. Of course that sort of comment is never really helpful - we are all here for you honey if you need to rant. NO WAY are you selfish.

YANBU

Definately not, not one bit, at all, no way!!

I can sympathise we have 4 DC and my DP works mon - fri and can either come home at a reasonable time (7.10pm being the earliest) but also if he has to work late then its late, very late but this doesn't follow a pattern so i am unable to join a group/club that i can go regularly [grrr]. DP however plays rugby league so when that time of year comes round he can always conveniantly make it home for training twice a week and then plays on Saturday - but he's always done it, so thats ok then is it?!?! I always used to go shopping/lunch etc with friends every saturday before we had kids but that doesn't count!

Sorry for the rant selfish feckers the lot of them!

Having said that i have over the last few years gradually made 'changes' ie i make him take the older ones when he plays and i make sure i try to go out once a fortnight (at least) and this tends to stop me feeling like a doormat all the time

ooops that was a bit long wasn't it

Could it lead to paid work, though?

Is it a route he eventually wants to get back into on a full-time basis? if so, it's a bit harsh to criticise him for wanting to do this.

Sure, you can probably talk a bit about how he can spend some extra time with the family when he's at home. But that's a separate issue from the DJ-ing - if it's his dream and he wants to make a go of it, why not?

A lot of blokes go off to the football every Saturday, don't they, and that's a pure hobby? And 50% of the time that's to away matches so they're out for the day.

It's a dilemma faced by a lot of men who are in, or want to be in, creative/non-mainstream jobs. Unless you are seriously big/making a lot, or you're young and single and happy to struggle for a bit, it's very hard to reconcile it with the rest of your lifestyle.

PJG, how's things???

Any more news????