AIBU to want to throw away old diaries?

[MindBoggles]

I probably wrote a diary on and off from the age of 12 to about 23. I then stopped except for an occasional entry.

Since my children were born I've written nothing.

I don't think my diaries are any good iyswim - they're just full of the names of boys/men I had crushes on and people that had hurt me. Some painful childhood memories. Some lovely like the 6th Form ball and dancing with the teacher I had a huge crush on. But other stuff is just pages of rambling about how this teacher loved me and
he must have looked at me in a certain way.

Interestingly there is one part where I'm flirting with another teacher at the age of 16 and he squeezes my breasts!

There is another part about when I didn't get into a course I really wanted and that was interesting to read - I always thought I had really messed up but I hadn't at all.

There is pages of angst - pain - my father was an alcoholic now dead and a lot of my anger at him and how I felt helpless.

It's shown me about my lack of self worth and self esteem. In some ways it's shown me how lucky I have been to have DH. There is a note of when we first met so that's lovely to see - and me falling in love with him. But it shows how still now I hang or hung my worth on other's perceptions of me.

There is some historic stuff but not much at all. It's mainly who I've snogged or not - it frustrates me at how badly I was treated by some people but blamed myself.

I've not read them in about 10 years but now I feel it's time to throw them away. Have you kept your old diaries/journals?

I feel like maybe it was worth reading them as showing me so much is unresolved and how I still have a lot of similar issues now. I should try lockdown therapy.

Thoughts please? AIBU to throw my diaries away?

So glad you posted this OP.
At the start of lockdown, I decided to have a clear out and found a load of old diaries.
I couldn't bear the thought that anyone (esp my kids) would read them, so I burned then all.

I don't regret it - I am clinically vulnerable and was very concerned that I might die in hospital. I skim read as I burned and there was a lot of teen angst (even in to my 20's).

I do feel that I untangle my thoughts when I'm writing, but I could only see myself going back to keeping a diary if I burned it more regularly. Maybe a weekly burn?

You can donate old diaries here www.thegreatdiaryproject.co.uk/ if you want. Probably a better option for the ones relatives leave behind than the personal ones that cause you pain.

Although you may think your diaries aren't worth keeping others in your family might think differently, especially when you have gone.
I have the diaries of a family member that I hope will passed down for years to come. Amongst the comments about the weather and what was growing in the garden they are full of little snippets of information about her everyday life, such as what she’d listened to on the radio and the shops she’d visited, and there are some very poignant entries about the day her son received his call up papers, the day she learned that she was going to be a granny and the day she realised that her husband was not going to get better and how sad she was for him that his plans for retirement would never be.
To me these diaries are a part of our family’s history and I hope that when my children are older they will read them and one of them will find a space to keep them safe.

I do have the occasional diary entry about a visit to the shops - a concert to Take That. My 12 new posters that I couldn't fit on the wall.

But also some pretty strange stuff and how people hate me - I was called a slut by someone at the age of 13!

Snogging a 21 year old at the age of 13. Just stories of people using me basically and me desperately seeking affection and approval from the worst people!

Bin them if that's what feels best.
Take a few photos, the bits that you want to remember completely. Crop as you go to get rid of the bad stuff.

Taking photos is a good idea.

There is an entry of when my Gran died at a young age she was 62. I mean my dad was 46 when he died.

Also some very sad entries of when I went away to Uni and the guilt I felt at leaving my mum and brother. Lots of pages of my mum's tears and how messed up my brother became cos of dad.

Not an easy read and probably not for my kids to read.

You should do what you want with your diaries but you might find them helpful at some point. I had what sounds like a similar childhood/teenagehood and one of the entries recently set off a really useful realisation for me. It let me feel really sorry for the teenage me (and therefore the now me) instead of thinking I was pathetic and ridiculous. So unless you're 100% sure you want to ditch them maybe keep them somewhere for a while. But you shouldn't feel bad about ditching them if that's what you want to do.

Might be worth taking photos or scanning parts you'd like to keep.

If you destroy them, how about doing a sort of personal ceremony to signify that you're letting go off past pain? I'm quite tempted by that myself.

I do feel like buying shredder and just getting rid. It's about time!

Thank you for the link to the Great Diary Project, I might send my uncle's diaries when I've read them myself.

I have some of my own school reports. As a retired teacher myself I find the comments quite amusing. Reading - very good, Writing - good and so on. Nowadays teachers have to write a book on each child, there is computer assistance but they still have to be personalised.

It's a very personal decision. I cringed the last time I read any of mine, but I haven't destroyed them. No children to leave them to, but if I die before my husband he might possibly want them... I can imagine wanting things like that of his, if he died before me...

I would probably save or photograph any "good" parts, at least, though I can see how going through them to find the best parts might be painful. Maybe a way of saying goodbye to the past with one last look...

I heard a radio programme about what, in Sweden, they call "death cleaning" - not as morbid as it sounds! Basically, while you are still fit and strong, and in charge of your own affairs, imagine that you are the person clearing the house after your death, or going into care. Nobody likes to think of it, but the day will come.
Now consider, "how cringeworthy is this?" and act accordingly. It can actually be cathartic to ditch reminders of old, unhappy times; rather like the advice sometimes given to somebody feeling aggrieved; write it all down, pour your heart out, be as rude as you like - then tear it up! They don't have the power to get to you like that!
This doesn't mean I ditched everything; some of it is family history which others will find interesting, but don't foist your tat on the next generation. Think of it as shedding your old unhappiness, and the hold somebody previously had on you.

I have old school reports too! Most of them good - some you can see there are teachers that made no effort to get to know me. Different teachers could be talking about a different child.

Yes a lot to let go off - past is past and I feel like letting go - it will be painful but I also feel I need to hold onto some of the reality of what my father was like - but at the same time what's the point he's dead and gone.

No useful political stuff - it's all mainly I fancy X- he's going out with Y - omg I hate Y blah blah

YANBU, I got rid of a bunch of old diaries with sad memories and it felt so freeing!

It feels like something you’re not “allowed” to do, if you know what I mean? But you are and personally I felt great after.

Yes it feels like I shouldn't let go!! But I don't want my past shadowing my future!

Personally I have kept mine because although they definitely make me cringe and so on in many places, I have a terrible memory and I really like doing into them occasionally and reminding myself. A good friend of mine and I occasionally send each other (now) hilarious extracts that we come across when having a trip down memory lane. I'm also fortunate enough to have had a mum and now husband who wouldn't dream of reading them so that's not a concern. I expect I should burn them before I die, though!

I've kind of procrastinated for the day and the feelings they brought back were not good!

I don't think I'll feel at a loss if I got rid of them! X

OP, maybe consider something like www.thegreatdiaryproject.co.uk/ ?

My diaries, so many of them, I was going to donate them somewhere. turns out, after both listening to 'My Teenage Diary', that my son really wants my diaries when I die. We sat and I read him all my teenage stuff after hearing that - and he really identified, which surprised me. Not sure how he'll feel about my diaries that deal with the break up my relationship with his dad - but by the time he reads them I'll be gone and he might be facing similar issues.

If he hadn't had an interest, I would have donated my diaries somewhere. Our random recordings are invaluable to the historians of the future.

But obvs, if you wanna burn them, do that!

I'm in my 60s and I've kept a diary every day since I was a teenager. I've been thinking, possibly corvid-inspired, whether I should shread them.

They are actually really handy though for referring back to when I did things, especially the last 10 years which are on computer and in which I can just do a quick search.

I'm mid-40s and I finally got rid of my teenage diaries a couple of years ago.

It honestly felt so cathartic. They'd been a bit of a weight for years even though I hadn't been able to bring myself to read them. I spent a very happy afternoon reading old letters, which brought back some very lovely memories, and chucked a couple of hurtful letters and my diaries at the same time.

I got rid of mine. I had one final read and remembered the good and the bad. But l wouldn't want my kids reading them when l died.

Send them to The Great Diary Project!

You could put them in a time capsule and bury them then register the coordinates online you can express that it’s not opened until a certain date. The boring mundane diaries are real gold to historians!