How do I lose weight properly and not obsess over food?

[Frume]

I have no idea what to do. I need to lose 6/7st. I've tried slimming world, but found that it messed up my relationship with food.

I don't want to join WW or any other kind of diet plan.

I'm an emotional binge eater.

I can't carry on like this. I just want to lose weight properly and sort out my relationship with food!

Where do I start?

Exercise
Is a big part in being healthy but only 20/30% responsible for actually losing weight.
Food part needs sorted with good eating habits established first, as a priority.

The only thing that worked for me was really getting into a enjoyable healthy lifestyle. I started with getting lovely fresh fruit. I bought loads of them. I focused on cooking food I really found tasty, but withfewer calories then I used to eat. Ate lots of protein. Bought the nice yoghurts low in calories but with much protein. Slowly started to move around more, go for nice walks.
For years I made myself suffer on very strict diets, doing exercise that left me hurt and awfully tired. Those kind of things only work very shortterm and make you feel bad.
Once I started really having a nice time eating healthy and moving around more the weight started coming off for good and I was feeling great while doing it. Took me longer then a strict diet I suppose, but I never gained any back.

Exercise is big part of feeling mentally better, don't forget that. Even I can see mood improvement now.

Just a little tip from me.

Some days you will feel really motivated and you might be looking at new recipes to try and enjoy taking time to cook.

And on other days you won't.

I think it's a good idea to have fail safe meals that you can eat on these days. Or for those busy days when you've forgotten to meal plan and you're suddenly starving and could consume your weight in bread and cheese!

Because, as much as you meal plan, sometimes it is hard to stick to.

If you always have your fail safe meal ingredients to hand then you can whip it up, fuel your body and move on.

For example my staples are: microwave wholegrain rice pouches. Canned goods such as chickpeas, kidney beans, tuna, mackerel. Frozen foods such as edamame beans, chopped peppers, peas... whatever you like!

And then I would make something such as:

Add to bowl: half of rice pouch, veg, tuna or kidney beans (or both), a squirt of tomato puree. Mix. Microwave. Season. And eat! And that takes less than 5 minutes.

Things like baked beans and eggs are good too.

For me it has really helped to have quick meals to hand so I don't have to give much thought to food on days that I'm struggling.

@Fruitytootie that's really good advice. I have homemade ready meals in a freezer for days like this. Like today. I can't be arsed to think what to cook. Kitchen is nice and tody. Just not in a mood. I shall have slowcooker red thai curry with rice from a freezer. I even have a piece of lime in there to defrost and squeeze over. 8 minutes in microwave and I have balanced dinner.

As you said. Having fail safe meal is really, really, good idea. I know exactly what I would have otherwise and thinking about it, I am not surprised, I am properly obese🤦

OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow

Your thai red curry sounds amazing! Frozen lime piece as well?! You've put my microwave rice and tuna bowl to shame

Stop eating sugar. After two days (or sooner) you will stop having crashes and cravings and feel steady, positive, and in control all the time.

@Fruitytootie yours actually sounds more wholesome! I must try it sometimes.

Wedge of lime I take it off before putting the rest in a microwave and then just give it 10 sec blast at the end. I don't always have limes at home, but I always want a squeeze of lime of this curry. You can do same with lemons for other meals.

Basically I am trying to prevent going into a hissy fit about something not being exactly like I want it and using that as an excuse to eat crap on the "wtf is the point anyway, it's not working, can't be arsed" days. Exactly like you with the tuna rice and such. I like tuna...

Don't weigh yourself, in fact ditch the scales just go off what fits. Don't buy crap, so you won't be tempted to eat it. Drink lots of water. Eat small portions. Little and often.

I think there are three sides to this.

One is the “diet” side, and you’ll get loads of tips to help you here and elsewhere, to help you work out what you should be eating, what “way of eating” Would suit you.

Second is “lifestyle” I guess. Things like how you organise your day, how you organise your kitchen, How often and where you shop, how you deal with all the practical side of whichever way of eating. For example, if you are low carbing, you’ll be eating a lot of salad and a lot of veg, meat, fish. This means you’ll probably need To shop more often than one a week - or you’ll end up falling back on pasta, sandwiches etc. Another example, if you do 16:8 you’ll probably need to eat your lunch quite early: is this compatible with your day? These lifestyle factors can trip up the best of intentions, and make it so easy to fall backwards into old (bad) habits.

The Third is “sorting your head out” (sorry can’t think of a snappy title!). This means tackling the why? Why do you over eat? What lacks in your life that makes you crave the chemical high that certain foods can bring you? What are the emotional triggers that kick off a binge? How can you address these?

Good luck

Thanks for starting this thread OP. I'm probably not the only one who is finding it very helpful.

To those who say stop eating sugar, do you mean the obvious sugars like cake and sweets? Or more hidden sugars like bread and fruit? I could probably manage the first category but realistically not the second.

Find a healthy breakfast and lunch that you can happily eat a version of every day so it doesn't feel like a hardship e.g. I am trying to eat Greek yoghurt, berries and honey for breakfast and salad for lunch.

Try to cut carbs at Dinner.

Drink fruit tea and water.

For example, if you are low carbing, you’ll be eating a lot of salad and a lot of veg, meat, fish. This means you’ll probably need To shop more often than one a week

I can highly recommend buying dark leaves, not an ordinary lettuce because not only are they nutritionally and taste wise better, but they also easily last 5-6 days in a fridge if you move them into a box and put some paper towel in top. I leave them open for an hour because they are usually very wrlet, then transfer into the box. Shops sell the mix of rocket, spinach, cress. It's so tasty and also practical if you can't shop too often.

You have to approach this scientifically. You are hooked on foods that raise your insulin which make you crave more of the same once the high is over. Then the guilt makes you binge again and your insulin sky rickets once more.

You probably think you are weak willed and wonder why your constantly hungry. It’s because certain foods are a drug. Those high fat, high sugar foods are making your body release chemicals that make you crave more of them.

As an analogy try poaching a load of chicken breasts in boiling water. What you’ll be left with is pure protein. Now see how much of that you can binge on. I’m going to bet not much before you feel completely full. Another test. Boil off a batch of hard boiled eggs. Now see how many of those you can eat before your body says no more. Again, I bet at the most three, maybe four. Look at the food you are overeating/binging on and I will bet money it’s high fat/high sugar. Yes?

Try the brain over binge podcast.

My friend had cbt to sort out her issues around food. She's lost 10st and maintained that loss and is now training in nutrition. She says it was the best way to sort out the way her eating had been.

Look at Team RH. It's based on calorie deficit, no foods are off limits but it re-educates you on how to eat calories protien fibre etc. Ots not expensive

I honestly wasn’t particularly impressed with TeamRH. I really like Ritchie’s videos but just didn’t lose weight on the huge calorie allowance they gave me I think you can find the videos on Facebook. Maybe if you had a lot to lose though the calorie allowance would still work.

You probably think you are weak willed and wonder why your constantly hungry.

I don’t think this can be over emphasised enough. There are a lot of generally unacknowledged influences on how and what a person eats: upbringing, mental health, genetics, gut flora, and of course the power of advertising and the sheer addictiveness highly processed, high fat / high sugar “foods”. Individuals who are lucky enough (and it is luck) to:

• find it easy the adopt new habits
• whose gut flora or genetics don’t drive them in certain choices

• who had parents that were good role models and taught them how to eat healthily

- who don’t have low self-esteem and emotional holes in their lives that they fill with chemical pick ups

• who have the time, money and confidence to shop and cook healthily.

Advertisers are always, always happy to make you feel shit about yourself - so that they can sell you either a cure or a distraction: get wise to it!

And the people who say “just eat less and move more” like to believe that their success is down to self discipline - rather than luck. Don’t judge yourself by these views. The food industry has done an amazing job in getting people addicted to their crap.

Hi OP, I think different things work for different people. What works for me is doing lots of exercise (I do something 5 days a week, with the rest days spread out to allow my muscles to recover) and finding ways to feel comforted that don’t involve food (nice hot bath, painting my nails, snuggly dressing gown with a cup of tea and a good book).

I also give up alcohol and sugar completely every January, to reset the scales as it were. I don’t find it too difficult as I always feel a bit sick after Christmas! It’s not sustainable but for just one month a year it allows me to lose the bit of body fat around my middle and means I don’t spend December feeling stressed about the Christmas party season.

The rest of the time, no food is off limits for me but I’ve done lots of reading on the effects of a bad diet which puts me off reaching for a doughnut as I picture clogged arteries! And makes me reach for a carrot or apple as I picture my clear skin and healthy bones and organs!

And the people who say “just eat less and move more” like to believe that their success is down to self discipline - rather than luck.

Sorry, but it is not luck in many instances. If I were lucky as you describe, I wouldn't end up morbidly obese... So wouldn't millions of others...
I don't like this "it's luck" purely because it kind of devalues the hard work we, who are trying to lose, are putting into it. And it is incredibly hard work to actually change things. It takes so much to change your eating habits, mindset and lifestyle because you need to build up self discipline and self control. That's no easy task.

I found intermittent fasting 16/8 useful to end bad habits around eating.I had to face feeling sad,and angry ,and also recognise what actually being hungry felt like.My poor body was so stuffed, I also had to get a new hobby that wasnt bloody eating.I dont think I could have done this without counselling I had.So for me bad eating habits were just that a habit,and honestly I'm bored of it.
Be kind to yourself,at all sizes.

Losing itself is not too hard, I've lost 12kg since October by eating 1400-1600 a day (I am 5ft2, was 90 kg, moderately active), with a 2,000 cal day once or twice a week and a lot of exercise. I enjoy food much more and love the exercise. I think the stages I went through before losing have really helped though and probably took years.

1. Avoided yo yo dieting luckily my whole life so haven't messed up my metabolism
2. Started eating.a more plant based diet, especially limiting sugary things to no more than once a day.
3. Stopped eating anything after my evening meal at 6/7, made sure I had gaps of two to three hours between meals and snacks.
4. I am not too black and white, so I look at the overall picture and don't beat myself up on the details or deny myself if I am feeling hungry, but I want to keep losing so I need to have portion control and make gradual changes.
5. Committed to tracking food daily and am prepared to do this always (I am on my phone all the time anyway).
6. I prioritised other things before weight loss, it's not the main thing for me to feel good about, other goals and successes are.
7. I still eat my preferred treats like crisps, choc, pastries but less often and in smaller portions.

I don't know, I'll probably come up against overwhelming biological pressure and regain it all soon, but I feel like I laid a foundation for something sustainable and am hoping to improve my health for the long term. I used to find it impossible to forget about food that was in the house, so I understand what you mean about obsessing. Do you think that planning your food including treats and sweets would help you? Also I found a good first step was to eat unlimited amounts of plant based unprocessed foods so I wasn't hungry but my craving for sugar and crap decreased, then it was easier to.lower the amount I was eating - doing it in stages iyswim.

I also think maintaining is annoyingly difficult. I’ve got goal once in my life at slimming world and just could t maintain it. To get there I’d had to be too strict and so immediately relaxed and the weight went back on 🤦🏻‍♀️