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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

University accommodation

30 replies

girlie123 · 20/05/2020 14:19

My daughter currently loves away for university but has been home with us due to lockdown.
The tenancy on her property is due to expire in July and she is looking at starting another tenancy in a different property when this one ends.
I have told her that it seems a bit silly at the moment with universities being closed and it being unlikely they will open again this year at least.
She won't have it and insisitingn on going for this tenancy. The rent is £600pm (her share) and I feel she will be paying for a house she is unable to live in for some time.
AIBU in saying I will not help her as I think she is making a big mistake

OP posts:

AvenueQ · 20/05/2020 14:21

My dd is also planning to live in her student house from July.
Moving house is allowed and I think it's understandable they'd rather live with people their age.

PickUpAPickUpAPenguin · 20/05/2020 14:23

I have a ds at uni and we don't know what's happening next term. Some unis are going to be online only until next year in which case I suspect ds will stay here. I'd be telling your dd to wait and see if uni will be running as normal before signing up a new lease. She she have a job in her uni city? Would she live there alone if her friends stayed at home?

Secretsout · 20/05/2020 14:25

My daughter signed her tenancy agreement at the beginning of March for the next academic year. She's going in to her 2nd year.

Her agreement runs from July to June even though she won't start Uni til late September.

It really pisses me off that she is paying almost £600 per month but not living there until at least September but the landlord has you on that so I guess we have to suck it up.
She is required to pay her first rent payment and deposit top up by next week.

nokidshere · 20/05/2020 14:26

My two have both paid deposits on their respective houses ready for September. The houses are available from July and they have every intention of living there from then even if Unis don't reinstate face to face lectures.

They have grown used to having their independence and are very eager to get back to it.

Not helping your daughter because you think she is making a mistake isn't very nice.

Secretsout · 20/05/2020 14:27

Just to add....my DD had to sign her agreement in March as they were running out of options and they had to commit.

Boulshired · 20/05/2020 14:27

The problem will be if the do open and have no on site accommodation left. I know through DS1 they are not guaranteeing accommodation for 2nd and 3rd years until after clearing. At most I can see them delaying till October/November/ December. Your DD will need accommodation.

Original poster

girlie123 · 20/05/2020 14:29

DD is happy to stay here, she's more worried about her stuff in the house. I'd rather go and collect it and store it here than have her pay money for a house she is not living in. Her friends who she would be sharing with are staying at home with their parents so if she did love in she'd be on her own.
She had a PT job (in London) but at the moment they are closed with no sign of reopening anytime soon.

OP posts:

Original poster

girlie123 · 20/05/2020 14:31

@nokidshere it's not about being nice it's about forking out £600 when I am out of job and a massive reduction income due to my place of work being closed. We are barely managing as it is without having the struggle of finding an extra £600pm for an empty house

OP posts:

Toomboom · 20/05/2020 14:32

i have just heard on the news that some universities will be doing online only for the next year, so that would mean that there is no point in paying for accommodation that isn't going to be used.

nokidshere · 20/05/2020 14:32

@girlie123

You didn't say that? You said you didn't want to help her because you thought she was making a mistake 🤷🏼‍♀️

okiedokieme · 20/05/2020 14:39

Dd has already signed her agreement, her landlord said he will not charge them rent if we are still in lockdown (no longer the case) but tenancy starts from 1 July.

Elouera · 20/05/2020 14:46

It seems each uni and course have differing plans. Not every course can be run solely online, especially where a practical test/demonstration is required.

OP- could your DD live at your home and still get to practical classes if required, or is it just too far away? I can certainly understand her wanting to be independent and live away with friends.

Original poster

girlie123 · 20/05/2020 14:52

@eloura - we are to far away. We are now living in Scotland and Uni is just outside London

OP posts:

SRS29 · 20/05/2020 15:17

Same here, daughter had to sign tenancy back in February to secure a property as they were all being snapped up. They are planning to all go to the property as soon as allowed (post lockdown) as uni maybe online but seminars will still be face to face (allegedly...no idea how safely). I understand campus libraries will also be open. She is going into her 2nd year. Uni still to confirm but guess its the only way to try and lock in the overseas students if 'all' students treated the same way...eg all online.

ifonly4 · 20/05/2020 15:37

DD signed her tenancy just before this and will be paying is £625pm for a room and shared kitchen, plus bills. She had a blip with her uni room last year, and I actually looked online at the time for student rooms still available and they were far more than this. The tenancy may be for a shorter time, but could be more and you have less say over the area.

DD's uni have informed her this week of their plans, so unless things get a lot worse there will be some small lectures and one to one contact at least. Obviously aiming for campus to be open, but with restrictions. Unless Scotland still have tighter restrictions, she's lucky in that the four other girls are all from England and they've agreed to either all go if they can and support eachother if it gets tough.

worstofbothworlds · 20/05/2020 15:50

I am a lecturer and we have had no announcement about our lecture format in October but many have announced they will have a mix in term 1 (e.g. large groups online, small groups on campus, practicals in small groups on campus) and after that they hope to be back to normal.
I would not risk having nowhere to live for the second half of the academic year, to be honest.
If there's an option for a Uni flat from September that might be better as they are more likely to refund rent if there's another lockdown, too.

ReincarnatedDodo · 20/05/2020 15:51

Honestly, I think the families of wealthier students that are going to universities around London will actually be renting out entire properties so those looking for single rooms may actually struggle at first.

Ask her to talk to her university as most have some idea now on what they are doing for the Autumn term at least.

Zilla1 · 20/05/2020 15:51

That must be frustrating, OP. I expect the landlord would welcome the certainty though given universities are still working through the forthcoming year, it might be interesting to see if the landlord would agree to some form of break clause or reduced rent. I expect demand will be reduced.

ReincarnatedDodo · 20/05/2020 15:52

Also if she is paying for it, why does you not having a job come into it?

Is she paying you rent as well, if so can she budget that?

Original poster

girlie123 · 20/05/2020 15:57

@reincarnated - she was paying herself with money from part time job and student loan and I was helping her with everyday things on top. My worry is that the shop she was working in is showing no signs of opening anytime soon and she will struggle without it. She has applied everywhere locally for jobs to get some money behind her but has not been successful yet. I will do what I can to help but as I am struggling myself I am limited in what I can do

OP posts:

worstofbothworlds · 20/05/2020 15:58

I've just checked our policies - we are (I'm not sure if this is right and it might be changed) charging people whose contract starts in July, for the July-Sept period.
I guess the reasoning is that if lockdown is lifted by July students can live there.

cardibach · 20/05/2020 16:00

All I’ve seen about universities is that they are moving lectures on line. This isn’t the same as them being entirely online, as they may still offer seminars and tutorials with appropriate social distancing. I’d want to live there from start of term if I was a student, and accommodation may well become an issue if she doesn’t take it up now.

BumpBundle · 20/05/2020 16:02

I'm a student and a mother.

You have no say in whether she signs a tenancy or not because she's an adult. What would you do if she didn't have a place to live in September and her university started face-to-face teaching?
You shouldn't be paying for it. What she does with her money is her choice - not yours! What you spend your money on is your choice.
Why wouldn't she be able to live there? Just because lectures are online doesn't mean that she can't live in a house that she's renting. There was no need for her to leave her old accommodation either. Private student accommodation is no different from any other private rental.
You are not being unreasonable to refuse to pay for it, you are being unreasonable to refuse to help her if she needs help/support. You can't just be unsupportive of your adult child because they won't do what you tell them to do.

Boulshired · 20/05/2020 17:34

In fairness while students maybe adults whilst they cannot get a full loan due to parental contribution there finances are linked to their parents especially in the current climate with lack of work and many landlords wanting parents to be guarantor.

BumpBundle · 20/05/2020 18:17

@Boulshired I agree except that if OP's income is as low as she claims then she can apply to have her daughter's student finance reassessed so that she's on the maximum loan amount - and therefore she's not expected to contribute to her daughter's living costs at all. Additionally, universities are obliged to act as guarantors for students when necessary (but they like to avoid it if they can so don't publicise that). OP doesn't seem to be saying that she's worried that her daughter WON'T pay her rent, just that she doesn't approve of how her daughter is spending her own money.
Honestly, as a student, I was absolutely blown away by the number of parents who use money to bully and manipulate their children. To be clear, I'm absolutely not saying that OP is doing that. Equally, I'm shocked by the number of students who expect financial support from their parents (or to live off them rent-free). When classes went online, a shocking number of students returned home and then complained about having to continue paying university rent (to the extent that many landlords stopped charging) - it's shocking that so many adults think they're entitled to live off other adults.
I got through six years of university with no financial support from my parents. I was on the minimum loan amount for the first three years and then got married and was a very low income student so I've seen both ends of the spectrum. I'm now on my seventh year and I still don't understand the inability for both students and their parents to cut the financial apron strings. Parents have the ability to write to Student Finance and tell them that they consider their child to be an independent adult and that they have no intention of financially supporting them - Student Finance are not obliged to give them the full student loan in that circumstance but they have done every time that I've known of.

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