Argument with family member re sending DS back to childminder

[ShambalaHambala]

I am a lone parent to 18 month old. I can work from home for as long as I need to, but really struggling. He sleeps for an hour in the day and goes to sleep at 8, up at 6:30/7. I work for 30 mins in the day. Then from around 9pm-midnight/1am. I'm exhausted. Told a family member that I'm going to send son back to childminder for 12 hours a week. Family member thinks I'm irresponsible and should keep him home. I'm putting my needs in front of his apparently. Opinions?

Ignore the family member. You are doing what's best for you and your son. It's hardly sending him down a mine!

I don't actually want to send him back, I really don't. But I am going to fall apart of I don't.

The whole point of childcare reopening is to allow parents like yourself to return to work in their usual capacity. Clearly carrying on how you are isn't sustainable or practical.

Do it, screw what other people think! We've had similarly raised eyebrows when we said DC would be going back to childcare when it reopens in June. But I'm at breaking point at home WFH full time with vulnerable adults on the phone and DH WFH full time too. It's fucking IMPOSSIBLE to carry on like this for ever so we're not!

It’s none of their business. Why waste time and energy worrying about what they think? If they mention it again just tell them that they’re welcome to look after your dc a couple days a week if they’re so dead set about him going to the childminder

Do what you have to do and ignore family member
Or tell them to fuck off if that helps

You arent being unreasonable at all. Tell the relative to mind their own business. I'm in a situation I don't have to send mine back and as I still have to go out to work with people in the high risk categories I feel it's better for everyone if I don't and I've had some crappy comments from a 'friend' about NOT sending them back.
You're never gona be able to please everyone so just do what is best for your family.

If neither of you are at risk groups and there is no other household member to consider then it sounds sensible to me. Is 12 hours enough to get your job done though? Can he play independently for a while, will he watch tv etc in addition to childminder hours? If you can get a bit more done I the day it would really benefit you to have some evening down time.

Unless the relative is offering help then ignore them!

@ShambalaHambala
Who is the only person who has to live your life ?
«Family member «
or you ?
😊

Absolutely send your child to the childminder. My kids are older and can be bribed with tablets etc but omg it’s tough

Childminders unless they are looking after key workers children or vulnerable children, can only look after children from one household. So in the short term if you don't send your son back now you are going to have to wait months before you can if another family decides to utilise your CM.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-early-years-and-childcare-closures/coronavirus-covid-19-early-years-and-childcare-closures

Oh and your relative is being a dick for loads of reasons.

If they are that bothered tell them they can always offer to help. X

You can't go on like you are. That sounds exhausting. Just ignore them. Do they have a job and a toddler? If not, then they are not qualified to comment.

Unless the person objecting is his Dad & offering to cover child care then crack on and do what you need to do. You're not selfish, people need to go back work, kids need to go back to school we all need to start getting back to normal life.

You're important too OP, and as he will be going into the childminders home, they will be doing everything they can to make it as safe as possible. It sounds like it will do you the world of good for him to be in for 12 hours a week, go for it!

My two young dc go to a childminder three days a week so DH and I can both work from home effectively (I’m a key worker).

It’s actually a great balance. My CM is militant about hygiene and protective measures and we’ve decided up that the benefit to the dc having the focus of another adult outweighs any risk of them catching anything.

Unless your relative is offering any practical help, ignore ignore ignore.

Ignore them. I don't think my family are impressed I am sending mine back to school/nursery on 1st June but you do what you have to do.

The issue isn't your relative but that you don't want to send him back. Is there no other way to manage your work or/and him?

When DS was that age and I was WFH I would nap when he did, and stay up late when he went to bed. I was dealing with time difference clients so the late nights were essential anyway.
During the day, I'd also put DS in a play pen with toys/books and let him play whilst I worked.