About the song "Fixer Upper" in Frozen

[Elderhedge]

Admittedly, I left my EA husband last week with my daughter and so there's context here, but... we have been watching "Frozen" on repeat, I somehow hadn't seen it before. Am I missing something with the song "Fixer Upped" sung by the trolls (who are sort of matchmakers/love experts..) The lyrics that stick in my head:
"We aren't saying you can change him... but loves a force that's powerful and strange. people make bad choices when they're mad or scared or stressed, but throw a little love their way and you'll bring out the best"
As someone who has had a string of abusive relationships, messages like this make my blood boil. It's said in such a blithe way- throw love at someone even if they're not what you want, love conquers all etc. It's so incongruous in a movie that I thought was otherwise ok in terms of challenging the gender roles usually found in Disney. This one song, dd loves and I feel like screaming "no!!! You can't change people AND throwing love at them doesn't fix them!"
Aibu?!!

Yes yabu they literally say you cant change him. Its about loving him knowing he is not perfect and never will be because no one is. Its not about accepting abuse or bad behaviour.

Don’t watch Beauty and the Beast.

We're not saying you can change him
'Cause people don't really change
We're only saying that love's a force
That's powerful and strange
People make bad choices
If they're mad or scared or stressed

Verse including your skipped line literally stating people can't change

Yes, YABU.

His main problem is that he’s a tiny bit scruffy though? Apart from that he’s a fairly positive male love interest (happy to follow her lead, puts her first etc). Also they don’t actually get together in that film anyway do they?

I think you're reading too much into it, I love the song though!

Yeah, it specifically says that she can't change him "because people don't really change." YABU.

YABU.

The actual verse is;
^We're not saying you can change him
Cause people don't really change
We're only saying that love's a force
That's powerful and strange
People make bad choices
If they're mad or scared or stressed^

It says people don't really change.

I've been in an abusive relationship too, it really does affect your outlook on everything - I understand.
But, in this case, it's just a Disney song; it's not meant to cause any harm.

It's definitely an odd song, though I don't think it's quite that bad.

I like the fan theory which has the trolls as the bad guys - Hans was clearly written and telegraphed as a "good" character in the beginning, then the magic trolls try to matchmake between Anna and Kristoff, song the Fixer Upper song ("get the fiance out of the way and the whole thing will be fixed"), and presto, Hans is now evil and Anna ends up with Kristoff.

I too thought it was the reverse of if you love him, you can change him.

It also acknowledges that everyone has imperfections and that you can love people even if they aren’t perfect.

I hope your xdh smells better than reindeer.

I think you are massively overthinking this.

I guess it's just that throughout the song it's about how love is the way to fix someone up, throw love their way and you'll bring out the best. This isn't necessarily healthy is it? "Love" isn't this all conquering thing. I find that song generally random in the plot though because Anna's not even interested in kristoff and yes, kristoffs only apparent issues are being scruffy, friends with a reindeer and a bit blunt, whats with the verse about "changing" him? Whole thing seems really weird and I just hate the song.

It's hardly the first time Disney have glorified weird relationship standards.

The trolls are meant to be really shit and misguided matchmakers though, aren’t they? Their advice is meant to be terrible. She’s not into him, he’s not particularly into her (at that stage). Neither of them want to be pushed together.

It is like when you go round to your male classmate’s house to revise and his mum decides you must secretly be his girlfriend. Embarrassing for all parties.

And I say that as someone who bloody loves Disney films.

Well technically "throw love their way and you'll bring out their best" is generally true for emotionally healthy people. I don't think they're JUST talking about romantic love here as they mention mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers in another verse.

I just see it as a song about love, understanding and acceptance...wrapped up in a bit of a pisstake of the trolls trying to fix Anna up with Kristoff in the way that families sometimes misguidedly do.

In fact I would go so far as to say Anna’s journey in Frozen is about ignoring all shit relationship advice and cultural expectations around marriage (Hans and instant engagements, trolls and instant romance with randoms you’ve met in the woods, etc). Fuck men off entirely, and just hang out with your sister.

And your snowman

Having been in an abusive relationship I can honestly say I’ve never thought about this song in that way. Looking back, I wish in my childhood I’d been taught to have stronger boundaries and to not be a people pleaser. I’m not sure songs really influenced me in a big way.

I did smile at the poster who said not to watch Beauty and the Beast though!

“Love is open door” is also a very clear depiction of love bombing

YANBU I thought the same when I saw it.

Well done for getting out, I hope you have good support around you.

The song is the clue of the key that will break Elsa’s spell over Arandelle, rather than a ‘troll’ love song between Anna and Kristoff. Love not fear. And family love at that- “Father Sister Brother, We need each other”. The act of true love is between Elsa and Anna, despite them not getting along at the time. Elsa has to overcome her fear, to control the powers and the sisterly love will do that.
But when push comes to shove.
The only fixer-upper fixer
That can fix up a fixer-upper is
True! true!
True, true, true!
Love
The trolls are singing a prophecy of sorts and love does let Elsa control her powers and save Anna (at least that’s what the writer Jennifer Lee says about the song).

That bit of the song is also about Elsa though. Making bad choices because she's mad, scared and stressed and by Anna loving her it brings out her best.

I think the joke is that the trolls are so anxious to get the two together although it would be a bad idea. they aren't always right!

The trolls are meant to be really shit and misguided matchmakers though, aren’t they?

Yes, this ^.

That's why it's funny when halfway through the song, Kristoff points out that Anna is engaged to someone else and they change it to her being a bit of a fixer-upper. Because she's freaking ENGAGED, but the trolls are so blind and stubborn that they just see a man and a woman and decide there should therefore be a romantic relationship between the two.

They're like some mad aunt who sees you taking to a man at a family wedding and assumes you must be in love, when in reality you were just making polite conversation and trying to escape to hang out with your friends. But the aunt just can't fucking let it go...