AMA - my child’s been back at (Dutch) school for one week

[Flopjustwantscoffee]

Where we live (Netherlands) they re-opened primary schools part time to all children from 11th May. Although of course the rules won’t be exactly the same in UK schools a lot of the debate here before opening (child/teacher safety, the effect of the new rules on children etc) was similar to the UK. The UK and Netherlands are quite similar in their approach to covid in other ways as well. So I thought it might be helpful to answer any questions on the reality of how it’s actually gone for children/parents/teachers (admittedly from my own limited expat perspective). I’ll answer any questions I can, but obviously no teacher bashing please (my mum was a teacher)

@Flopjustwantscoffee

We live quite out of the way, and have a lot of very cautious friends, so my kids didn't see anyone else until one playdate for the eldest halfway through the May break, so May 3rd. We interpreted it then as don't hug, but also don't worry too much if they accidentally touch. From what I've heard, some parents allowed a lot more playdates than that, and (bit of a medium ground) some streets agrees that the kids in the street could play together but couldn't see kids from other streets.

For my youngest (just turned 6, so still in kindergarten) we organized a playdate this weekend. His 2 best friends are in the other group and all three missed each other terribly. We have a large garden and they spent 3 hours just running after each other and pretending to be "Ninja Pikachus" etc.
I overheard them say to each other that they had missed each other.

@isittooearlyforgin my 6 year old reports that they are allowed on the play equipment on their side of the school but they are not allowed on the play equipment at the front, the older years are allowed on the play equipment at the front but not on the equipment at the side. There is plastic taping between them. So there’s some separation between ages

@isittooearlyforgin

In the class for my 6yo (KS2?), for puzzles and some other learning materials, they have divided everything over 2 cupboards, for the A and the B group. I imagine the teachers may also have divided the duplo into 2 baskets. Not sure about the other materials and the outside play equipment.

@LavenderLilacTree our school is quite nice with adequate toilet facilities but up until January this year they didn’t have soap in the children’s toilets. I only found this out because at the start of February they sent an email telling everyone that they had put soap in the toilets as part of the new measures against covid. . But looking on the bright side that should be one positive outcome from covid I suppose. Other than that I can’t fault the school.

That should be reception, I think

Is the attitude of going back to school generally quite positive?

As a staff member, I’m generally fairly comfortable with going back but am worried about how nervous parents might be and how their lack of confidence will effect the children and how they react to certain things - for example if we have to ring and say they are unwell, or if they fall over etc. My Head has said there is no way we are letting our young children clean up their own grazed knees, it’s part of our duty of care which I fully support .

@dutchyoriginal I’m planning some play dates too once I’ve identified who will be ok with them, I’m going to try to keep it to children from his group though because I don’t think I can stop him and his friends from close contact (basically wrestling) and don’t want to feel super stressed the whole time trying to stop them,. Also our garden is tiny so would prob have to be the park...

Regarding children and mental health etc., my youngest seemed happy and chatty during dinner after the first day, but was in tears just before bed "stupid virus, it kills your family members and makes you miss your friends". Took about half an hour to calm him down again. :-(

We fortunately haven't had any cases in our direct circle yet, but grandparents are very very high risk and we talk about having to keep as much distance as possible.

As a teacher Iove the idea of standing behind a line in lessons. I can just sit and chill behind my line, Mark a load of books etc. Hope they keep these rules well after lock down. 🤣🤣

The school my dd goes to has phoned all parents to see who is sending there children back I had to pop over there today and asked how many children from dd class are going back 5 was the answer am undecided still weather she's going but knowing there is only 5 makes me think I might send her. So phone up the school an ask how many have said yes to going it's worth knowing before saying a definite no. Also ask them what there plan is seeing so many different things on Facebook mine said no more than 10 in a group each group will have play an dinner times together an won't mix with any other group pick up an drop of will be staggered an hands washed often and all tables wiped once kid's go out to break or dinner.

@Flopjustwantscoffee seems like a good plan! The only reason we did the other playdates is because those kids are their best friends and they hadn't seen them for 9 weeks (and the 6yo's meltdown :-( )

@bananaskinsnomnom I was quite anxious before mostly because I wasn’t sure what to expect and I was scared about accidentally not following the rules and being told of (I think I slightly regress to primary school me around teachers). Also I was worried I was putting the teachers in danger or making them hate me by sending my son in (again this has more to do with me than anything else. I have anxiety and tend to overthink things if left to my own devices). The teachers themselves were positive (at least to us) and rationally there is no way I could imagine my sons teachers not looking after a child who had hurt themselves - they always seem really caring. Of course teacher safety matters a lot, and I honestly don’t know any more what the “right” approach is in terms of government strategy. But from my own perspective on the first day back the teachers were happy to see the children, the children were happy to see the teachers and their friends and the parents were happy to see each other (from a distance). It was very wierd but also nice.

I’ve been very careful not to transfer my anxiety into my son by the way, it was just internal thoughts...

That’s good to hear. I know some just won’t bring them back in yet full stop and I guess the most anxious won’t. I’m personally very excited to see my class again, they’re a lovely bunch!

Our school is located on a housing estate. One small single gate entrance that causes a bottle neck. Any ideas how that would be addressed? If parents need to stand 2m apart we would have to queue down the street

@Flopjustwantscoffee - Good question about the quarantine, as far as I'm aware returning Dutch were asked to go into 14 day self quarantine, but visitors !? I know they were taking temperatures at Schiphol.

My employer has been brilliant, very flexible very understanding. I cannot fault them, I've been working from home mostly , which with a 3 yr old has been very hard.

We have a little speeltuin (playground) at the end of the street, a fair amount of young kids daily, parents standing apart. We've not had any play dates yet, but we have played with a few kids we know from nursery in the playground, and washed hands when we've got home.

Just slightly off track, I feel so sad for the group 8 and exam year in middlebare. They've had so much taken away from them, their end musical, their examreis, the gala. I'm so happy that my oldest two are not in exam years. My friends daughter just finished gymnasium and is so emotional about it she calls it her corona diploma and feel it's not wrth the paper it's written on.. I imagine the GCSE/ A level student feel the same way.

@Flopjustwantscoffee and @dutchyoriginal: interesting to hear your experiences. I've got a DD in reception (groep 1) And I've been quite surprised about how relaxed some of the Dutch parents are. Examples being:

• no distance being kept at drop off/pick up
• teachers are still keeping close to the kids and also to parents
• kids groups are mixing at playtime
• playdates with other kids is encouraged

The real benefit I have seen is the smaller classes, more emphasis on hand washing and the 2 days a week schooling.

We've had 1 play date with a friend and we kept our distance throughout but the kids played together as we walked through the forest.

I think that it really depends on the schooling/parents for how the kids are accepting/reacting to this too.

Have you heard that we might get new rules as of 1. June? Some of the parents today were talking about this.

My relatives say the playgrounds are open there again as well

All sounds very sensible

@Ilovetea09: at our school they stagger start times by 5/10mins so that each class starts and finishes at slightly different times. E.g.
Reception: 8.30 - 14.50
Year 2: 8.35 - 14.55
Year 3: 8.40- 15.00

Everyone understands this and respects the rules to get their kid there on time. If you're early or late you need to stand away and wait until it's safe to get your kid

Yes, I’m so glad they didn’t tape of the playgrounds here. There’s a small playground near the top of our road that we haven’t really used because we have a small garden (and my son went through a stage of not wanting to go outside at all which has thankfully passed now) but it was used mostly over the past few weeks by kids from the block of flats right by us. Because other children weren’t using it so much it meant it was much easier for them and their parents to use it in a socially distanced way so it seemed reasonable - it would be really tough otherwise given some of the flats don’t even have balconies. But everyone sort of unofficially reached an agreement that was fairly safe without anyone needing to enforce it externally. It would have been really shit if they’d taped it of.

@WeAllHaveWings

Can you repost with the excess deaths for children ? Because surely that is what is relevant ?

@Flopjustwantscoffee

Thank you for your informative posts .

@Jokie that’s interesting... most of the people I know are still cautious but not in a panicky way if that makes sense. To be honest some of the children (mine) have taken it on themselves to check everyone stays on the lines. They are LOVING it. I don’t know anything specific about new rules but there have been endless WhatsApp rumors and counter rumours since this whole thing started .

It is really sad for the older children who’ve missed out on key milestones, exams etc