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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Please help sort me out

5 replies

Flappingflamingo · 18/05/2020 13:42

I was really optimistic when lockdown started, was full of plans and ideas and now... Since the start of lockdown my mum told me has bowel cancer, thankfully early stages so she said nothing to get too worried about, and then my stepmum has been diagnosed with lung cancer. Whilst it's not terminal, it's incurable so they will have to find a way to manage it.
I've now lost all motivation, I can't be arsed doing anything, I just want to stay in pj's in front of the TV, even doing simple things like washing up and deciding what's for dinner seem too much of a chore. My children don't know anything about it but they're 10,11 & 15 so know somethings wrong with me, I've even told them that as long as they get maths and english done everyday, I'm not bothered about anything else, the complete opposite of how I was at the start.
I suffer from acute anxiety so this has obviously hasn't helped, I'm struggling to get to sleep, I've been doing the classic self medicating with wine, and before anyone has a go at me about that, just don't. I know its making the situation a 100 times worse and I'm starting with that. I'm putting on weight coz of the wine and sitting around moping all day which is making me feel worse, unfortunately I'm not one of those people that feels better with exercise, as soon as I get out of breathe I have a panic attack 😞
My husband has been supportive but he can also be very blunt and tactless so can sometimes say something to upset me, mainly about the lack of housework being done. He's working at the moment but doesn't help when he comes in.
Sorry it's long and whiny, just needed to get it off my chest and get a great big kick up the backside to get my shit together

OP posts:
Idododoidadada · 18/05/2020 15:10

If you’ve lost motivation and everything seems too much you may be a a bit depressed, unsurprising with your mum and step mum both being diagnosed with cancer.
Having a PJ day & watching films etc on a day off is one thing, not wanting to wash up and do dinner is a bit more concerning.
Wine is a depressant -not judging- but it will be making you feel worse as well as adding to the anxiety but it’s not unusual for people to self medicate with alcohol.
Please phone and speak to the GP and see if they can help.
I hope things seem brighter soon Flowers

Some tips here
www.unihomes.co.uk/blog/how-to-look-after-your-mental-health-coronavirus

Support if you need to reach out to someone.
www.mind.org.uk/information-support/

www.samaritans.org/?nation=wales

RozaDiPoza · 19/05/2020 07:23

Think of it as a reminder that any day can be your last and that life is short so make every day count instead of counting the days. You moping around wont do fuck all good to anyone. It wont help you or them or your family. It is shit but you cant give up.
Get some onl8ne therapy or medication or go running or whatever. And make yourself get dressed properly to shoes everyday and go out everday even when you dont want to. If you have no motivation to do that thats when you need to start or rethink your mental health plan ie medication therapay etc. You cant do fuckall about their diagnosis. You can choose to make your time together good. You can choose to be as healthy as you can. You can choose to get help for yourself.

DrManhattan · 19/05/2020 07:38

Dont be so tough on yourself. You sound you have alot on your shoulders. Take care xx

CHIRIBAYA · 19/05/2020 18:12

You're going through a very difficult time and if you feel unmotivated that is quite normal so try not to feel guilty about that. I'm not sure where you live but I work at a hospice and it offers counselling to anyone affected by these issues, not just the person who has been diagnosed. It might be worth giving your local hospice a call, even if it's just for a few weeks to get you back to where you feel you can cope. It's a lot to deal with, go easy on yourself.

Flappingflamingo · 19/05/2020 18:39

Thank you everyone 💖

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