To ask if she will be allowed to keep the baby

[User36227]

My dd 25 has told me she’s pregnant. She’s been with her boyfriend just over a year. She’s got long term mental health problems which includes having a history of suicide attempts and eating problems. She’s worried about telling her mental health team as she’s worried they will take her baby. She’s planning on keeping the baby so obviously will need to tell them.

Good luck op. Shes going to need support so telling her mental health team. I'd explain that it will look a lot worse if she isn't open and honest

I'd advise her to make them aware. It will be seen as utilising her support network and engaging positively. Keeping it from them will raise more alarm bells when inevitably it comes out.

You should sit down with her and make a safety plan so she can show this if anyone asks when she lets them know.

Oh and congratulations!!!!

Retired sw here who has close friends with bi polar disorder. Every effort made to keep mother and child together and professionals need to know to give appropriate support. This will be seen as your SD taking responsibility for her child’s welfare. There is a risk with bi polar that mother will be more susceptible to post natal psychosis and will need treatment but usually baby accompanies mother to hospital etc. Every effort made to facilitate bonding and at same time to keep baby safe.
From the Local Authority’s point of view it is not only ethical todo all this but from a practical point of view saves money. Costs a heap to take a child into care so contrary to public perception this is only done when strictly necessary to protect the child.
Encourage your daughter to feel confident in her ability to be a brilliant mum and to monitor her symptoms so if she feels overwhelmed at any point she doesn’t feel a failure if she asks you to help — stress this is normal for parents without MH problems.
Good luck.

I agree with PP's, she must tell her mental health team immediately, firstly because she may need to adjust her medication to keep the baby healthy.

By telling them, she'll be demonstrating that she's putting her baby's welfare first, which is the basic tenet of parenting. It'll also activate all the support services, which is what she needs.

Hiding her pregnancy would be really negative and could even harm the baby, please encourage her to tell them ASAP.

I was in a very , very similar situation ( Ds is now 4) . The mental health team were absolutely fantastic , totally supportive . There was never a question about taking my baby . They said they knows that I had the baby’s best interests at heart , starting with the fact that I was seeking help and support .

She'll be fine; SS don't just take babies for no reason and MH issues for which she is monitored, supported and accepting help are not a reason.

Perhaps show your DD this thread and encourage her to be open about her pregnancy with her support workers.

I'm sure this thread has reassured you and you in-turn can reassure your DD.

Nothing to add that hasn't already been said...just wanted to offer my congratulations and best wishes. You sound like a lovely mum and your daughter will be well supported

Hi OP I am a midwife and your daughter will be given a lot of support from PNMHT and her midwife that she will see antenatally.

At our unit we have specialist midwives who deal with vulnerable clients, they are there for them every step of the way.
Along with the PNMHT and her midwives a plan will be decided upon in agreement with your daughter in how that support will be given in the antenatal, intrapartum and postnatal phase of her pregnancy.

You and your daughter have nothing to fear and I am sure with your support your daughter will be well equipped to have a good experience with a happy outcome.

My heart went out to you and your daughter at her fear that her baby might be taken away from her just for her MH history.

My daughter has bipolar disorder, also with a history of suicide attempts. She's currently well (but on a lot of medications) and actually in the process of very slowly (delayed by lockdown) negotiating reductions in her medication with a view to contemplating pregnancy at some stage in the future - this with the full knowledge and cooperation of her consultant psychiatrist. Honestly, no one is just going to assume she can't cope or won't be a good mother.

for you both. Hope all goes really well.

My MH team called SS when I told them I was pregnant. I had SS involved until she was around 2, this mostly involved asking what support I needed and completing welfare checks for both me and my child. My MH issued were caused by a hormonal balance rather than any past trauma and remarkably, following pregnancy the hormones really did level out and mentally, I was fine. They never once had the intention to remove my child from my care, that's an absolute last resort for them

Thank you so much everyone. The replies have made me and her feel better. She’s has now told her care team about her pregnancy. They are trying to arrange a review with the consultant.

Great, OP. All the best with the pregnancy.

No
It will just hopefully get her extra support x

Get legal advice ASAP. Could you go for guardianship of the baby? When did she last attempt? What is her Dx?

Congratulations. I am so pleased you are your daughter feel reassured.

As a previous poster has said if sge is so unwell that she needs to go in to hospital ( much less likely with the care she will get) she can bring her baby with her.

Louis Theroux did a documentary quite recently about a mother and baby mental health unit. You can see the support they get. It might still be on iPlayer. The ladies on that are very unwell but they still have their babies with them.

Places in mother and baby units are limited and many women who would benefit from a place do not get one, and are therefore separated from their babies.

My auntie 'fosters' mothers and babies to give extra support to women who need additional help in learning to become mothers and that can be for a wide range of reasons. The are alot of support mechanisms in place to help women they just have to want to work with them. (Not saying there are not shit examples out there of women being let down)

I'm really glad your daughter has spoken to her support. I hope her boyfriend is also engaged and open to attending antenatal appointments to show her support network.

I'm a midwife and we deal with things like this all the time. Due to her history, your daughter will be more susceptible to things such as antenatal or postnatal depression, postpartum psychosis etc which we would always discuss with mothers (especially those with risk factors) and preferably their families to advise them on the signs to look out for. I would be inclined to offer more appointments during the pregnancy to make sure that I am offering enough support and pick up on any emotional changes early. As long as there aren't other factors that you're not mentioning here (which is totally your choice but obviously could make a difference to the advice given) then there isn't anything you've said that would be likely to result in your daughters baby being removed from her.

When there are safeguarding concerns we often end up having to have a discharge planning meeting where social services, Health visitor etc all meet to discuss concerns we may have, what we can offer with regards to help etc and then decide what recommendations would be made. I'm not sure that would be necessary in your daughters case because I don't know enough about her and when the attempts were, how stable she is now on her medications as well as other factors. Obviously the only person who could tell you what they would recommend would be her own midwife. I suggest that she's completely open with her midwife in discussing everything. We aren't there to try and remove babies from their mothers and although we obviously do have to raise safeguarding concerns at times, it's not something that automatically means babies are taken away. Everything is done to offer help and another solution first. Please tell your daughter to stop panicking xx

Sitting here with my newborn baby boy with a plethora of past mental health issues. All that happened is I saw a mental health nurse around 28 weeks who told me I was fine but to be extra aware of postnatal depression. They will not take her baby. Congratulations!