I was seven. First thing I did was tell my dad it was obvious his partner didn’t like me. Nothing changed. Cried to my mum a lot about it so my mum went to her solicitor, who went to court.
Court got a social worker to observe access visits. Social worker said I was clearly being treated differently/less favourably by father and his partner (compared to her children of similar age). It ranged from things like not being given treats/food at the same time, to being told to be quiet or that I was wrong about something or lying when I wasn’t.
She noted that it was very likely to be more pronounced with no observer present so recommended that my wishes be respected.
I had to go to court to be asked what my wishes were in person. I said I didn’t like seeing my dad any more because it was obvious his partner didn’t like me.
The court said that access visits had to continue but only with my dad, I didn’t have to see his partner or go to her home.
My dad didn’t abide by that and took me to her home. Including one incident when he refused to return me at the specified time, even though I was crying to go home to my mum.
My mum had to get my uncle and aunty to go with her to his partner’s house, they said they had come to collect me on behalf of my mum and if he didn’t let me go they would contact the police. My mum couldn’t go on her own as there was a history of domestic violence and she knew going by herself would be a bad idea as well as ineffective. She sat in the car whilst they were at the door.
After that, I didn’t have to see him anymore. That was heartbreaking for me and I was very sad, but I was a lot less scared than when I had to see him and his partner together.
That’s a long time ago so I would hope the process is a bit less daunting and drawn out for children now. It was pretty rough, took about six to nine months and it was very traumatising for me.