To worry about the psychological impact of covid guilt

[SquashedSpring]

I think people should be sticking to the rules and trying their utmost not to spread covid, but I'm really concerned by the way individuals are being told that if they do slip up, or make a decision that may or may not be within the guidance, that they are responsible for countless deaths. Tellingly, I feel the need to add that I haven't come close to breaking any rules or slipping up, so this isn't about me.

My beloved Grandmother died of norovirus, which she obviously caught from someone, but although it is frowned upon to send children back into school or to return to work while potentially still infectious, I've never heard anyone being accused of killing people for doing so.

Same with flu, tens of thousands of people die every year from it, but I have never heard it said that those deaths are the fault of whoever infected them.

I undestand that social pressure/shaming/guilt is used to ensure that individuals act for the greater good, but I am becoming really concerned about the effects of guilt on both the short and long term mental health of everyone right now. AIBU?

Jesus @EmeraldShamrock that's harsh

I think there will be a number of mental health issues from this pandemic, and guilt will be one of them for some people.

One of the reasons why I think the Germans, French and some other countries have done better than the UK is that some decisions have been made that are more precise, or some things ruled out for longer periods of time. Which may not do much for guilt, but may help with other aspects of mental health- for example if you don't spend money on something you later want a refund for, less money worries.

@DressingGownofDoom Not as harsh losing DM she died isolated and alone age 69. I'll never truly forgive him he is so arrogant he won't notice anyway.

I think there will be a number of mental health issues from this pandemic, and guilt will be one of them for some people.

The current and ongoing fear and guilt will ultimately be far, far worse than the virus itself.

I was asked if I was happy being a murderer on here when I said we’d been on a 2 hour walk.

I’ve paid little heed to the rules or guidelines throughout this thing. Obviously if I were symptomatic I would self isolate until I had a negative test (and then avoid all contact with people outside of my household anyway as much as possible). A bunch of hysterics crying that every time I take my kids on a play date or whatever I’m killing someone makes no difference to me.

I think majority of us have a sensible, common sense approach to this but there's a vocal minority on both extremes. Just like with absolutely everything else at the moment.

I’ve seen the shouting on MN too but I think it’s mainly like minded people shouting to each other / preaching to the converted.

I self isolated when I had symptoms. Otherwise I stay at home more days than not. When I go out I try to support local small businesses that are open and have just started seeing friends again in open spaces. I’m not doing to lie awake at night dwelling on anything.

I’ve paid little heed to the rules or guidelines throughout this thing. Obviously if I were symptomatic I would self isolate What if you were asymptomatic? Why are you different to anyone else? If everyone was you things would be worse.
Are you in the UK?
It is behaviour like yours that will force other countries to stop UK residents entering. They'll be right.

I was asked if I was happy being a murderer on here when I said we’d been on a 2 hour walk.

But did this make you feel like a murderer? Or did you take it for the hysterical, ridiculous comment it was?

It is behaviour like yours that will force other countries to stop UK residents entering. They'll be right.

And right there is an example of trying to make someone feel guilty.

Yes and I think the gov messages - stay at home, if you go out people might die...stay alert...can be quite stressful and also the vagueness of some of it, yes to using common sense but then also seems to be other rules as well and different layers of detail making it all difficult to follow at times.

Hopefully with times things will settle down a bit.

I just had my elderly neighbour ring to tell me her daughter is visiting if I hear anything and they are going a walk, and also her cleaner is coming in case I hear noise, I don't like to think she is worried about what I think about it (although she said she just didn't want to worry me)

This focus on each other and behaviour is all a bit OTT

and for anyone with MH issues it can make that worse e.g. psychosis..coupled with isolation that isn't a good mix.

zigaziga I took it for the hysterical clap trap that it was. But I guess others who were less confident in their decisions or with poor mental health may struggle.

I tried to tell them to stop telling people off about here recently and look at all the abuse and shaming I got.. for having a picnic, with my family away from anyone!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3890431-To-remind-people-of-the-exercise-rules

I do resent being corona shamed for doing things that are allowed but I just think they're tossers rather than feeling guilt.
I've experienced it recently when talking about the kids going back to nursery. You'd have thought I planned to wander in with a gun and massacre the staff from the reaction.

And right there is an example of trying to make someone feel guilty
It isn't about making people feel guilty, the UK has the highest death toll in Europe, it has slowed but not much, workers are back, the schools reopening in light of Kawasaki disease, they failed to quartine travellers, didn't count numbers correctly.
The longer people ignore the guidelines it won't improve. It is televised other countries are speechless at the risks in the UK.

@Nihiloxica

Interesting point. Because if one angle is true, then so if the other.

There are FAR too few of the most vulnerable kids attending school, for whom it's their safe place, where they're fed and loved. Kids who are sexually abused, kids who aren't fed properly, kids who catch it off their parents who are cranky because of lockdown.

They prepared to care for up to 20%. They're seeing 1-3%.

Those kids are suffering right now. Turns out that even shitty abusive parents like to keep their poor kids trapped home with them during a pandemic.

I'm massively unimpressed with teaching unions screaming and frothing about not sending kids back, because all that is doing is reinforcing to the parents of the kids who need it most that they shouldn't be there (parents with track records of making shitty or abusive decisions about their kids welfare, so fuck knows why they should be trusted with this one).

It's disgustingly irresponsible.

(I'm not saying sending schools back on June 1st is a perfect answer - I'm just saying that teaching unions are just as thoughtless and irresponsible as the government they are criticising in the way they're platforming on this.)

People who love shaming others are having the time of their lives right now.

EVERYTHING is currently their business.

It's exhausting and depressing having to listen to it.

Because if one angle is true, then so if the other.

Exactly.

• People who love shaming others are having the time of their lives right now.

EVERYTHING is currently their business.*

How many I wonder would be like it to somebody in person, knowing that ranting to someone face to face with the accusations and guilt tripping could potentially land them flat on their arse?

I'd wager not many. Keyboard warriors and nothing more.

People who love shaming others are having the time of their lives right now

EVERYTHING is currently their business

Agree. Browsing MN I'm convinced some people actually don't want this to end anytime soon. Any sign of showing hope that this could end soon or we find ways to live with it, are slapped down. Spying, judging and berating neighbours, calling people murderers (yeah I know consensus seems to be it's hysterical commentary that should be ignored but you don't know the state of mind of the person you're goading, it could really impact them negatively so please shut up), I just don't know how they'll live without the opportunity to scaremonger and make others feel like shit when this is all over. They'll find another way to vent their spleen I suppose.

They'll find another way to vent their spleen I suppose.

It'll then be the recession caused by all of this. People will be selfish bastards who caused it to be worse because they dared to have two walks instead of one.

It’s the act of trying to shame that concerns me - the fact that it seems to be more extreme and more legitimised than ever before. The “but people SHOULD feel ashamed for xyz” responses on this thread are perfect examples of people who are part of the problem and also completely missing the point. I don’t want to be part of this sort of culture, I actively separate myself from it, I won’t be part of a national campaign to shame each other

"A bunch of hysterics crying that every time I take my kids on a play date or whatever I’m killing someone makes no difference to me."

Of course it doesn't. You're either someone who is playing their part at keeping the R down, or you're not.

"I don’t want to be part of this sort of culture, I actively separate myself from it, I won’t be part of a national campaign to shame each other."

It's a national set of rules that we've been asked to adhere to, for a short time, for a good reason.

To you, they're irrational judgmental shamers.

But they are probably genuinely baffled why people can't just do this thing, to suppress the R and end lockdown, or at least not extend it or risk a second one.

If you genuinely don't think that your behaviour is potentially harming anyone else, then their words are presumably water off a duck's back.