Sorry another DH texting one

[livinginlockdown]

Changed username for this because worried it's outing.

DH has a woman at work who clearly likes him, he doesn't ever name drop at home or anything like that, absolutely not worried anything is going on with them, but it's quite well known at work she has a crush on him and he knows it too.

I have previously asked that he doesn't engage in any texting with her. She has texted him before and been quite over friendly in my opinion, he has never reciprocated to my knowledge and when I have seen their texts he just used to reply very succinctly and only to work messages. No kisses or anything. However I personally feel that they shouldn't need to text at all, yes they work together but any of these conversations could be occuring over work email.

Since lockdown she has been texting him quite a lot about work stuff, I wasn't actually aware of this until I saw the texts recently, lots of texts from her all about work but she is trying to be chatty with him. Annoyingly he has been replying to them all. Yes he is blunt and it's about work but AIBU to be annoyed he is replying to them when we have already discussed this and he agreed he wouldn't? Or do I need to calm down as they are just about work?

@Colom
I do just look at his phone sometimes which he knows, we have always been open with phones. I know people are going to come at me for that though(!). And yes I guess I am a bit insecure.

He is shutting her down in an entirely reasonable way. Drop it.

He is doing everything right, he can't ignore he if it's about work stuff. What do you expect him to do?

If she fancies him, he doesn't like her back yet she is still pushing, he is technically being harassed. He has to reply because they work together but he's not enjoying it is he?

I agree that it's none of your business what discussions he's having during work time and he's not trying to cheat. That's controlling. Do you work op?

You're pushing him closer to her by whining about it. Her plan is to put a wedge between you and you're doing it yourself.

You're lucky that you even know about these rumours - surely what office gossip that goes on in his workplace is his business.

You’re being unreasonable, partly for being suspicious of him when all evidence points to him doing nothing wrong Andy partly for checking his phone, stop that!! Not normal and not okay.

I rather think it depends on whether he gets drawn in to clusters of texting back and forth. Are all his simple, blunt work-relevant replies single texts, ignoring any inappropriate questions, comments or frills? Pass friend, and all's well.

If he's being drawn into little conversations, and he's giving out with emoticons or excessive punctuation, you need to have a quiet word, along the lines of, "Your responses are feeding her crush and encouraging her - you need to be professional and imagine your line managwr/CEO looking at these texts."

YABU. He's texting a colleague strictly about work - if you think he's doing something wrong then you need to think again.

YABU.

My colleagues and I frequently exchange text or instant messenger messages about work matters - it's often just a matter of convenience. I wouldn't appreciate my partner insisting that all correspondence was via work email (which I'd view as needlessly petty and controlling).

Also, your monitoring of his communications is controlling. You should stop.

If it’s not really about work if he just never replies it will tail off.

My Exh did have an affair (which was his choice, I’m not saying yours is or will) but for years before anything started I’d been uncomfortable with how the OW was around him, almost from day 1. When you know, you know.