Preposterous job titles

[dogsdinnerlady]

Someone sent me an email today and signed off with their job title 'Behaviour Change Training Practitioner'. What is that? Whose behaviour needs to change? Seem to be a lot of pseudo titles around these days. Anyone seen anything worse?

Pixel mover

Agree anything with 'Guru', 'Ninja' or 'Evangelist' is a pile of wank.

I was once handed a business card by someone whose official title was 'Head of Joy and Facilitator of Fun'. He was the dullest suit even whose job it was to organise corporate comms and events and I"m pretty sure he had assigned the title to himself. Knob.

*ever

Can I be a Grape Based Inebriator Champion?

Manager of Operational Excellence was my favourite Had a LinkedIn request from someone the other day whose job title is ‘Mentor & Business Angel’. Go figure 🤷🏻‍♀️

My ex once had a job as an "Erection Engineer"......

A woman left my old workplace to join somewhere as "Chief Joy Officer". What the actual fuck?!

Although to be fair, when I worked with her she used to swing around on roller skates to fill up photocopiers, was always smiling and wore beautiful flowers in her hair so she's probably really good at it. Whatever the fuck it is.

I know a positivity Coach. She really is!

@serenada - no idea! None! I saw those gems on a job board last year and thought wtf?

I can't get past the build a bears job titles at hq. I'd love to see minutes of their meetings. HR bear said the tea was tooo cold but Sales bear said it was just right 🤦🏻‍♀️

I wonder if it is worth making up a job title on Linkedin and seeing if any prospective employers contact you.

Like, Horizontal Communications Coordinator (lying in bed on your phone)

or

Exploratory Consumption Consultant (just eating and drinking loads of new things)

Social Locations Expert (visiting bars all day to test the 'atmosphere')

I was offered a job in Amsterdam that required me to visit bars, clubs and restaurants (they provided money ) to make sure that they still matched the description on a website (vibe, customers, dress code, music) etc.

I turned it down for some stupid reason.

@Ostagazuzulum

I can't get past the build a bears job titles at hq. I'd love to see minutes of their meetings. HR bear said the tea was tooo cold but Sales bear said it was just right 🤦🏻‍♀️

Head of Talent Acquisition - HR manager.

One of my Facebook friends is a former Head of Talent Acquisition. I was wondering what it was...

I was looking at a company webpage the other day and every single employee who is not the Head of the organisation is Senior something or Lead something or something Manager. Ridiculous.

I used to work in a posh school. My job title was ‘Vice Mistress of the Boarding House’
I used to wear these killer boots, just to live up to my job title!

I love the pope one!

I'm in FMCG and know a few 'Head of Food' or 'Food Controller' types, which just sounds lovely. A 'Yogurt strategy planner' cropped up in my inbox once.

Behaviour Change Training Practitioner

I know what that means.

My job title is "Billings and Operations Executive."

I ask people how many pieces of paper they've printed that month.

@Anotherchangeanothername I know it's real, it just sounds ridiculous! But many things in Agile do I find...
I don't know what their certifications are.

NHS and I’m officially “assistant technical officer” which means absolutely nothing!

I had to give my title to someone last week, and I couldn't remember it!!!

Global (something) (something) lead!!

What do you do, Fancied?

Director of first impressions! Not my job title I may add, it was for an American company

I did some work for a company once who referred to me as a 'word wrangler'. Eugh.

I'm a copywriter, not a cowgirl.

I once worked at a school where there was a rather pompous announcement that Mr X was now, "Master in Charge of Corridors" and another where we were invited to apply to be "Chair of the Noticeboard Management Working Group."

The people mocking job titles like stakeholder engagement lead. Do you work in a 50s style office with loads of women typing and plugging the phones?
I feel bad for yall. Like this is just the modern workplace. Get with it or I guess enjoy your 'traditional job' which you're obvs so much better for doing.