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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to collect my things following marriage breakdown?

6 replies

AbZe · 16/05/2020 15:21

STBXH saying I can't because of social distancing laws. We are in England. We had been essentially living apart before the split with me and children spending most of our time at my parents' house. Nonetheless most of my belongings are at the family home. I have found it very hard to find any guidance online about moving house under these circumstances. I understand that you can move house but he is saying this wouldn't count as moving house because I was already spending so much time with at my parents'. I have given ex several days notice that I will collect my things. I am very scared that he will damage my things and I know they are only material things but they do matter to me as some very sentimental things there. He has said he will box them up for me but I don't trust him to do this properly. I am worried he will gaslight me and say things were never there in the first place. I didn't take photos of my things before the split, stupidly. Please if you can help or tell me if AIBU to go and get stuff tomorrow I would be very grateful thank you Smile

OP posts:
CSIblonde · 16/05/2020 15:29

Re distancing he can stay in the garden while you pick stuff up assuming it's not going to be a whole large proper removal vans worth. Write a list & take it with you as you might be too stressed with it all to twig if he's not put all the stuff that's yours in the boxes. If he gets arsey over anything, lie & say you have receipts & you'll see him in small claims court.

AbZe · 16/05/2020 16:09

Thank you for replying xx
Yes I will write a list. No, I just want to get my "stuff" not like fridge and stuff. My personal effects, I think you would call them.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 16/05/2020 16:11

If it's still your house then I don't think he can stop you lockdown or not...

Likethebattle · 16/05/2020 16:53

Speak to the police as o believe they can accompany you to collect belongings. He can’t refuse entry if your name is on the lease/mortgage and the police can ensure he lets you in and ensure he doesn’t become violent or cause any criminal damage to your items. My dad threw my mum out once into the street with nothing, she had bare feet (he was an alcoholic with a foul temper). The police made him let her in to get shoes, Clothrs and belongings including her handbag

AbZe · 16/05/2020 16:58

He is saying that even thought it is my house, I don't live there / reside there so have no right to be there. Like how if you have 2 homes you can only be in one and those govt scientists got in trouble for it.

OP posts:
AbZe · 16/05/2020 16:58

I'm so sorry that happened to your mum, Likethebattle. X

OP posts:
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