To think this is weird?

[pippil0ngstocking]

Disclaimer: I'm not a parent, but don't have a decent parent to discuss this with and also this all happened before coronavirus.

My friend and I are both 17, her parents are what I consider to be incredibly strict, but she thinks they're just responsible-- not that I ever question or tease her about it, I like her parents and it's hardly my place to say anything.

She has an app on her phone so that her parents can track her location all the time, if we go anywhere but the places we specified (e.g. We went ice skating, and then went to the supermarket next-door for sweets) her parents call her right away and say she has to come home.

I think that at the age of 17 that's a lot, considering she's independent and really well organised, never ever gets in trouble, never goes to parties, or does anything even remotely dangerous.

Opinions?

I think it's weird, yes.

I think that's very strange. I have 2 sons, both late teens- part of them growing up is having their freedom. I like to know they are safe so they'll whatsapp me if they'll be late or whatever, but I would not track where they go.

Sorry but this is bordering on abusive, telling her she can’t go to uni??

Agree this is actually bordering on abusive behaviour. Totally limiting her opportunities for the future. How selfish of them, it's such a shame for her. The sad reality is if it's all she's known then it's likely she'll go ahead and work for the family business and perhaps only meet a partner who agrees with their values and doesn't rock the boat, continuing the cycle for another generation. Really sad.

@bunbunbun

I agree it's very selfish. She wanted to be a teacher and is very conscientious with school work, the amount of effort she puts in despite her parents constantly discouraging her is amazing and she's almost always top of the class. If there's anyone who's likely to be successful, it's her, so it's a massive shame.

Only child??

The uni thing should be a discussion, since she'll need to either pay for it herself, or, ask her parents to contribute, as unfair as that seems, the maintenance loans are based on her parents income and assume they will contribute....

@FixTheBone

No, she has one elder brother and a pair of younger b/g twins. We met in a private school which costs more than a year of uni, so they've certainly got the money. I don't think there's any way they'll let her go.

This is really sad. I agree as above its borderline abusive.

They cant stop her going to uni if she really wants to. If she wants to be a teacher you should encourage her to just go

Ask her to ask her dad if instead of being a secretary she can work to take over the company. I bet her brothers aren’t treated in the same way.

Does school know she's not 'allowed' to leave home/go to university?

If you told them, they could keep an eye out for her and, if she wants to, help her to get away from what isn't borderline, it is abuse.

Sad thing is that effectively they CAN not allow her to go, because student finance is calculated on parental income, assuming the young person will be supported. As her parents are wealthy, if they don’t support her, she won’t get enough loan to live on in uni.