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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To really dislike my sister

3 replies

Eolhc1990 · 15/05/2020 09:50

I don't think there is really any advice needed here but I do need a rant.
My older sister is 27 we get on pretty well but I'm really starting to resent how she treats my parents.
She is a really clever girl, did well in school and although it almost bankrupted my parents she went on to get her masters at Uni. However since leaving university she has never worked or made any real attempt to gain employment. When pushed on this she blames her mental health and feels she is too educated to do "menial" jobs like the rest of our family (we all work in a local shops and factories).
Since leaving uni she has lived back with my mum. and dad in their small council house along with my 2 younger siblings (my 2 younger siblings work and pay rent to my parents, she does not pay anything)

My sister always had trouble maintaining relationships with friends and never really had a boyfriend until she met a guy 2 years ago. He is a complete disaster, doesn't work, also has depression, and smokes weed every day. Before lockdown he has also moved in with my parents.
My sister now has a 3 week old baby boy (a pregnancy I think she planned to get people off her back about gaining employment).
My parents and I have bought everything for this baby and absolutely adore him, but my sister and her boyfriend are doing the bare minimum in regards to their son. My mum gets up with the baby most nights and my sister's boyfriend smokes weed all day and seems out of it so can't be trusted yet my sister posts all these updates on social media as if they are the perfect family.
I feel bad for my parents they both worked hard all their lives and should be starting to look forward to retirement but I fear they are never going to get rid of my sister or her waster partner. I help out with money as much as i can but i feel like we are all just enabling her. Obviously noone wants to say anything to her at the moment with her being a new mum and so vulnerable.

Has anyone had any experience with this?

OP posts:
sqirrelfriends · 15/05/2020 10:12

YANBU, but I don't know if there is much you can do about her behaviour.

nowayhose · 15/05/2020 10:24

YANBU, however it's not actually your problem is it ?

It's up to your parents whether or not they want to continue supporting all 3 of them, all you can really do is tell your parents and your sister how you feel, but I'm doubtful they'll want to hear it.

Probably best to say nothing and carry on with your own life. In time your sister will have to make her own way when your parents are no longer around, and I'm sure she'll regret not working when all her siblings have made a good life for themselves and she's been left behind.

Eolhc1990 · 15/05/2020 11:38

@nowayhose you are right it is not really my problem but I have to listen to my mum and siblings complain about her constantly.

Its up to my parents to kick her out but that's not likely to happen now that she has a little baby. Every time my mother says anything about them renting their own place my sister bursts into tears. I just don't understand how one person can be so selfish. My mother buys all the baby formula and nappies and neither my sister or her partner even cook or clean up after themselves.

My younger siblings are only 18 and 19 respectively but as soon as rentals become available they want to move out as they want to take some pressure off our parents. It just seems unfair

OP posts:
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