Unsurprisingly, I've had a crap childhood. I've got poor boundaries, perfect for bullies, I'm not assertive. I self sabotage. I've just floated through life doing what other people want me to do. I've surpressed myself so much, I don't know who the real me is. I'm extremely shy and have social anxiety. Ive failed in life. I just haven't grown and blossomed in life. I've watched by the wayside as my peers flourish through their lives.
No career. I've been in low paid jobs all my life. No friends. A big fat failure. I literally hate myself and who I am. I am not suicidal but would be happy if I knew I was going to die soon. Id be more than happy to swap my life for someone who was going to die, if we could.
I've tried a few different therapies via NHS and self help but things are limited with NHS as only short term and only CBT was offered to me.
I desparately need help to improve my life so I can at least 'live' in whatever is left of it.