To think this was signs of autism?

[SquishyBones]

When I was a teenager I used to be fascinated with album covers to the point where I’d buy an album more for its cover than its actual content. I used to routinely line all my CDs up all over my bedroom floor and stare at the covers ... then I would check albums I didn’t have to work out which covers would look good in my collection. The CD singles used to irritate me because they were a slightly different shape so would stand out when they were all laid out.

I was also fascinated with dog breeds (still am) and had a book which listed all the breeds. I memorised them all and would practice naming them all via their pictures every night and would test myself afterwards to make sure I wasn’t forgetting any.

I didn’t make friends easily and when I did in secondary school it was based on alcohol, drugs and music.

Apart from that I mask well. I still have my “weird quirks” at home but function more or less ok outside of the house but people do think I’m weird and odd.

I’m awaiting assessment and have been waiting nearly 3 years now 😩

Possibly you may be on the spectrum. From experience of years of working with autism i would hazard aspergers. But that is just from what you are describing. I am no expert you would need a proper assessment.

Maybe signs of autism, it's impossible to say without much more information. What are you hoping to gain with an assessment now?

@Echo08 hope you dont mind me asking (and sorry op to hijack the thread) but can a child have Autism if he gets sarcasm really well? I've been convinced for a while that my 9 year may be on the spectrum but he has a really good and sarcastic sense of humour which goes against what I have read. Also, in your opinion, is it worth getting an assessment if they are doing ok for the most part?

A relative had the same quirks with schizophrenia. She loved to build collections from cars to dolls to books.

You sound like my lovely quirky boy, asperger's I think....

@Frazzledmum123 my 9 year old has ASD but understands sarcasm.

Frazzledmum, my 11 year old boy has the same sense of humour, beyond his years sometimes...

My daughter was diagnosed at 18... I see certain traits in my other children but husband doesn't

Not necessarily, IMO...
What are you hoping to gain with an assessment now?

Ha,ha. The wrong shape CDs would drive me bonkers. Lining them up and staring at them sounds perfectly normal to me.. (crochet squares)

18 months on the waiting list.

Another Aspy who both understands and practices sarcasm extensively.

There's no 'rules' for autism. We're as different from person to person as NT's.

Imagine a list of 100 traits. For the sake of the point (I'm not suggesting this is accurate in any way) Autistic people have a random selection of 20 of those traits, just a different 20 from person to person. You might meet someone who has the exact same 20 as you, but equally, you might meet another person with an Autism diagnosis who has a completely different set of 20 and is nothing at all like you.

I've seen this play out so many times in real life when I've met other people with an Aspergers diagnosis. The vast majority have been nothing remotely like me, yet I can see similarities in most of them. Likewise, they probably recognise my Autism, but don't believe I'm anything like them.

There are NT people I know who will deny I'm Autistic simply because I can communicate fluently in a group, understand body language and facial expressions, social convention etc, but what they don't see is the fact that I can't make eye contact without consciously forcing myself to, I have literally no empathy for things that I have no personal experience of, and that although I nod along and appear to be outwardly interested, I'm actually not remotely interested in hearing about their personal lives, have no interest in their children, hobbies etc and secretly inside I just want them to shut up and talk about something I am interested in.

My Autism manifests itself much more in my living environment, personal habits, and personal interests than it does in my outward appearance or my ability to socially interact and communicate, hence why I don't present as a 'typical' Aspy. There's no such thing, and the vast majority of people have no insight into how I live at home, hence they doubt my Autism.

Frazzledmum123 we are all different, but from my personal perspective, although I sometimes use sarcasm, I generally don't get it if someone says something sarcastic to me and if I do it's after I've already answered and then I feel embarrassed.

I do the exact same thing with dog breeds, at school I would spend every break and lunchtime in the library with my book of dog breeds. I love making lists of facts, such as smallest countries in the world, largest countries, flags of the world, capital cities. It’s how I relax I guess.

I also used to have a bus ticket collection, I stuck them all in a scrapbook. I don’t know why I did that because it’s not like I went anywhere interesting. But the tickets all faded to just white paper. I’m getting much better at not hoarding stuff!

Aspergers doesn’t actually exist anymore as I diagnosis. I guess if one was diagnosed Aspergers you might identify more with the term but me personally I wouldn’t want to be associated with Hans Asperger.

Terrified at the waiting list times, I'm awaiting an appointment to be referred... I could write my entire life story - started off 'switching off' at 3 and rocking, have never maintained a friendship, relationship or job in spite of being highly intelligent especially with numbers.

I've been on antidepressants for 26 years, and my recent job loss made me seriously question things - it was then that my Mum said, well looking back... but we didn't know about those things in the 70's.... My ex partner who has known me for 20 years says it makes sense to him now if I am diagnosed.

It would mean a great deal to me if I was as it would explain why I have never been able to build the relationships or life I would have wanted. I'm too old now to keep going round in circles on the jobs market especially. I've been single for 11 years and have no close friends, that doesn't bother me so much.

I feel like my life in public is a mask - I know when to smile, I know when to appear confident, I can sail through an interview. I just cannot maintain these things. I did not have these skills at school, but was never bothered by being called names or weird because I was always top of the class.

I hope you get the answers you need OP. I was thinking of posting tonight to see if any adults had been diagnosed and why, how, the outcome etc.

Just to give you another perspective, i’m not autistic, but have always loved certain artwork enough to just spend time staring at it, and i am an avid collector of whatever it is i am interested in at the time - to the extent that gaps in my collection bother me and i spend time tracking things down to get. Sometimes those things are just (slightly quirky) interests. You know yourself best to know if they’re indicative of anything.

What would I gain from a diagnosis? Understanding.

Understanding of why people think I’m weird.
Understanding of why ... after a short interaction people smile awkwardly and then walk away looking confused or bemused.
Understanding of why I obsess over stuff
Understanding of why I’m not like other women my age
Understanding of why I feel like an actor everytime I leave my house
Understanding of why I struggle with stuff that other people find simple

If you were struggling to function, wouldn’t you want to know why?

Totally agree op. I was diagnosed a couple of years ago. It enabled me to forgive myself and to work with my quirks. Made all the difference to my mental health. Also enabled me to explain to professionals why I struggle to communicate in certain ways and for adjustments to be made where necessary.

A pp asked about sarcasm. My sense of humour is very sarcastic. I usually get it. Sometimes I miss it and don’t know that someone is joking. But I use sarcasm a lot and for the most part, I get it. Same is true of my son, also diagnosed.

If you were struggling to function, wouldn’t you want to know why?

Yes! Definitely. It very much helps. I struggle to function and it helps me to know there is a reason why, it’s not just that I’m useless.

I do struggle with sarcasm. In written forums like this where there is no tone of voice I never get when someone is responding sarcastically. I take everything at face value and people always tell me I’m naive. My main struggle with sarcasm is people always think I’m being sarcastic when I’m really not. I don’t know why! People also think I’m very funny but I don’t try to be.

I was diagnosed last summer at 60+. It's made a huge difference to me - explaining my quirks and some things I've really struggled with all my life. My DM - a wholly admirable woman - has always said I'm far more honest than she is. Now I understand that not being honest makes me really uncomfortable. And loads of other stuff.

@Frazzledmum123 my daughter has autism and is the most sarcastic person I know

The reality is there are lots of undiagnosed adults living with Autism, some may see your actions as the same as them or people they know and seem completely average behaviours because to them it is their normal. My brother is similar to you and has been diagnosed, he found a ready available online community and now he is not trying to mask he has found people are interacting with the more comfortably as the masking never really worked and he lost his personality.

Thank you everyone. I'm sure he is on the spectrum, I can't even put my finger on it as he does appear 'normal' (sorry, dont mean that offensively) but I just feel it's mainly learnt behaviour, rather than natural. He wants friends and kids seem drawn to him but it's like he doesn't quite know what to do next. He was obsessed with cars when little, knew every badge and would notice the make of all of them without really paying attention, now its art, obsessively draws and animals, knows all about mist animals. He loves imagination games but completely lacks imagination himself so relies on his sister to come up with ideas. He cant cope with certain textures, I always had to put socks on before trousers when dressing him because he couldn't stand the feeling of the trousers on his toes, although this has got better as he got older. He cannot cope with what he considers injustice, if a friend gets told off for something that isn't his fault it REALLY bothers him, will ruin his entire day. But sarcasm I do think he genuinely gets, I dont think he has too much trouble looking people in the eyes particularly and he is empathetic. He has trouble with ticks too, obsessive actions and digestive issues which I read is often linked.

I deliberately made a concerted effort to be sarcastic at every opportunity, because it prevents the awkwardness the odd times I do say something wholly inappropriate. People just think I'm being sarcastic because that's what they expect from me. The sarcasm is a part of my mask, even though I do 'get' it for the most part and it is intentional.

Fwiw I did, and still do every single one of the things you are describing in your little boy Frazzled, including socks on first, the rage at injustice etc.

I can't wear long trousers about the house and never have been able to. I can't bear to have anything covering my legs when I'm indoors.